Back to school

I'm not sure if you guys are aware of this...but...I am one giant nerd.  I really am.  I love learning.  I love History.  Hell, I even have a favorite President.  (Teddy Roosevelt, thank you very much, and yes, I did have a small poster of him at one time in college...don't judge!)  I was that kid when it came to back to school time that really was okay with going back to school.  I got so excited over the school supply aspect of it.  Buying a new lunch box (the old school kind with thermos inside...not the weird stuff they have nowadays), a new backpack, Trapper Keeper, pencils...I would stack it all up in my room and just get so excited about using it for the new school year.  It was like a fresh beginning, a start of something new and exciting.  A new adventure.

Granted, this excitement wore off some, but not really...as I got into high school, it was buying planners for the new school year and yes, a new backpack (things don't change, I guess).  In college, I loved it, too.  Now, when I reached law school, this excitement kind of faded away because law school sucks the fun out of pretty much anything.  (It really does.)  But now, I find myself, as a grown adult, still getting excited about back to school time.  And I'm not even in school.  My nieces and nephews are going back, my coworkers children, and every time I talk to them about it, I am all "Man, you are so lucky!  Back to school time isthe best!"  Of course, these kids look at me like I've grown a third head, but I can't help it.  I'm a nerd. 

I'm that kid who purposely joined the summer reading program through the library and made it a point to read every freaking book on that list.  I'm the kid who in high school would rather spend a week at Hoosier Girls State playing "mock government" than go on some vacation or spend time doing nothing at home.  I am a nerd.  And dammit, I'm proud of it. 

God help my kids some day...when it's time to go back to school, and I'm jumping up and down like a giddy school girl, getting excited over new highlighters and pencil cases.  Poor kids won't know what they have in store for them. 

And since I'm outting myself here, I need to know...am I the only one?  Am I the only back to school nerd out there?  Join me, fellow nerds, and revel in the beauty that is back to school shopping season.  And don't listen to those other kids who are making fun of your new Trapper Keeper and NKOTB folders.  They're just haters.  All of them. 

This random post was brought to you by the letter C.  As in Nain is crazy, and this is what happens when crazy Nain comes up with a random post late at night.  Enjoy!

 



Bad habits

So this week's Spin Cycle with Sprite's Keeper spoke to me and said "Hey, Nain!  This topic...it's for you!" It's all about bad habits, and boy, do I have them!  I mean we all do, but mine are special.  Or rather I'm skilled at them.  I graduated with honors in them.  It was my major and my minor.  So yeah....It was hard to pick, but...I had to narrow it down to a few :-)  Let's see how many of these make T chuckle, too.

1.  Picking at my nails.  This is a nervous habit I developed way back when in high school.  I gave it up for the wedding, but...with stress over the past year, I've fallen off the wagon.  And I can't stop, dammit.  My skin around my nails just isn't pleasant.  I'm always being told to stop doing that, but it's totally subconcious.  Not to say I shouldn't try to stop, though.  Maybe I will...

2.  Leaving my shoes everywhere.  I'm married to a very clean and organized person.  And I am so far from that.  Back in the day when I lived on my own, I would get home, kick my shoes off next to the door and leave them there.  They would be there waiting for me when I left the apartment next.  Convenience, right?  Why would I want to put them away and then dig them out when I need them?  But T?  Yeah, he's not a big fan of that.  It drives him crazy, in fact.  So now I just do it to bug him.  Or just by accident.  I can't help it.  I'm lazy when it comes to my shoes...and I have a lot of them, too!

3.  Starting something, not finishing it and going on to the next thing.  I think I have adult on-set A.D.D.  Never diagnosed, but I can't focus worth a crap.  This isn't to say I don't eventually finish the first task.  It's just that I start about ten more between when I start the first one and when I end the last one.  By the end of it, I'm confused, tired and a little stressed out. 

4.  Worrying.  I make worrying an olympic sport.  Sure, you say there's no way that I don't worry as much as you, right?  Nope, sorry.  My evidence of this?   I was in 5th grade when I was first tested for an ulcer.  Ten years old.  Because of my anxiety and nervousness.  I get nervous before anything - good or bad.  I think about all of the possible contingencies of what can go wrong.  I then fret about them constantly.  Something good happens...I think about the possible bad things that can happen just because the good thing happened.  I almost fainted from worry before being sworn in as an attorney.  I knew I passed the bar exam, but I was determined that there was a possibility they could retroactively flunk me.  So I was miserable the entire ride there, during the ceremony...pretty much until I had the certificate in my hand and after I verified that they spelled my name correctly.  (And that it was from the State of Indiana)

5.  Pessimism.  I kind of think that one goes along with the worrying.  I'm not a glass is half full or empty kind of girl.  I broke the glass.  There is no glass and the liquid is spilt all over the floor.  And that broken glass is the only one in the cabinet.  So sorry, kid, no milk for you!

6.  Cursing - I curse like a sailor.  This gets me in trouble with the nieces and nephews all the time.  God help me when we have children. 

7.  Worrying about how much I'm cursing, picking at my nails, my lack of housekeeping skills and the fact I can't finish a project.

8.  Why am I worried about that?  I suck at life anyway.  It's not like I'd actually succeed if I tried to do it anyway.  Man, I suck.

9.  Aw...shit damn hell.  Look what I did. 

So those are some of MY bad habits...check out what other Spinners have to share!

   

Motivation Monday!

I'm back with some motivation fun this week...God knows I could use the motivation!  We're still staying pretty busy with work and everything with my family.  Not much has changed.  They say no news is good news, but honestly, in this type of situation, considering the fact we're not looking for good news, it just means the status quo when we don't hear anything.  And that's not necessarily good or bad.  I guess it's how you look at it.  But thank you for all of your kind thoughts and prayers.  Keep them coming because my Grandpa can use all of them, and we appreciate them.


So anyway, let's get to the Motivation Monday part....I hope I get people to do it today but...since I've been out of the game so long I won't get too sensitive about it :-)  Here's you how do it...just write a post about what you need motivation for this week, copy and paste the link to that post in a comment on this one, and I'll link you up!


So my first motivation....helping T.  See, in November, my man (who is certifiably crazy for doing this, is my disclaimer) is running a marathon.  26.2 miles.  That's just not right.  I'm good with the 13.1, but you double that?  No freaking way.  But he's doing it.  And it's my goal to motivate him.  It's been a tough summer with the unbearable heat, and I swear he keeps setting these goals for himself that he's going to get up at 5:00 a.m. and run.  Doesn't happen.  (Sorry, T!  I'm outting you here!)  So both Saturday and Sunday, I kicked his ass out of bed at 8:00 and made him go run.  Pulling the blankets back, setting the alarm, even pushing him out of bed physically.  And I am proud that he did it.  And I have every intention of keeping him up with doing it because this 26.2 mile goal is his goal, however crazy it may be, and I want to see him succeed.  I'll be on the sidelines, of course.  But cheering the entire time!


Now for myself?  I need some professional motivation.  Career-type motivation, of course.  I have a TON of stuff to do.  TON.  And it's hard to keep focused.  I'm not sure if I have developed some type of adult on-set A.D.D., but dude, I can't stay focused at all.  So...this week...I need to really kick it into high gear.  I honestly have no choice.  I have some huge deadlines coming up, and I'm losing my intern after Friday so I will be down one entire staff member until our attorney on maternity leave comes back in Sept.  Who's that huddled in the corner under her desk in the fetal position?  Oh, that'll be me next week.  God help me. 


Anyway, so that's my motivation....what's YOURS?  Happy Monday everyone!



Chloe @ My New Life as a Housewife    

Guest blogging!

Hi everyone!  I won't be blogging over here today, but I am guest blogging at Chloe's blog - My New Life as a Housewife.  So check it out!  And get to know Chloe because she's one of the sweetest people I know!

  

Checking in...

I'm still here, alive and kicking!  This week has been kicking my butt with the heat and family things, but I promise I am still here!  In fact, check back tomorrow, and you'll get to read my guest post over at Chloe's My New Life as a Housewife!  I am very excited to be guest posting...so exciting :-)

 

 

Thank you for all of you who have been sending positive thoughts and prayers to me on the blog, twitter and Facebook.  I don't have any updates other than the fact that things seem to still just be going in the direction they were going.  He won't be getting better, but right now, they are determining where he will be, whether that be in his assisted living apartment with his stuff, his bed (our preference) or the nursing home.  I truly feel for my mom and her siblings as I couldn't even begin to imagine what they are dealing with or decisions they have to make.  I pray for him and for them every day.

 

 

In the mean time, I am trying my best to focus on the little things in life that make me happy...T and I are actually going on a date this weekend (to a movie, no less!).  I'm trying to think past the heat of summer and think towards fall.  NFL training camps have begun.  They are talking about college football starting.  I'm only one month away from my one year wedding anniversary.  (These are not listed in any particular order, so no worries...I am not placing football above T, promise!)  So that's my focus right now - focus on my blessings and also look forward to the future. 

 

 

And don't forget!  Check out my guest post tomorrow :-)

 

 

 



Bittersweet

T and I have just come back from a very blessed but very bittersweet weekend.  My entire extended family came together to celebrate a family reunion with my Grandpa, the last one we will celebrate with his physical presence there.  I'm not going to lie, it was hard.  My heart hurts so much today after we left, but I felt so happy to see that he was able to leave the nursing home and join us at my uncle's house for several hours.  He looked exhausted but smiled every now and then as a great-grand child would run by or as people visited with him. 

 

 

My uncle had printed out pictures for all of us - a young George and Peggy when they first got married, enjoying a ball game.  They both looked so happy and in love, and I will treasure this picture forever.  My Grandpa had a copy of this picture in front of him when I was visiting with him, and I asked him when the picture was taken.  A smile crossed his face as he told me when they took that.  Looking at my Grandma, he said "she was a dandy, wasn't she?"  He began to tear up, as he shared with me and my aunt that he misses her so much and wants to be with her.  I took his hand and said, "you will be soon, Grandpa.  She's watching over you."  My aunt asked him if he'll watch over us when he's gone, and he nodded, tears in his eyes.  It's so hard to see him like this.  I don't want to lose him, but I want him to be back with my Grandma.  I want him to be at peace again. 

 

 

I hate that feeling when I hug him good bye, and I wonder if this will be the last hug.  It makes me not want to let go, not want to let go of his hand, and it makes saying "I love you" not feel like enough.  I felt this way with all of my grandparents, and the feeling is even more strong this time around because he's been such a big part of my life for so long. 

 

 

We went to see him last weekend in order to allow my cousins and family who lived farther away to spend more time with him this weekend.  It was hard not going back to the nursing home before we left today, so on our way out of town, I had T stop by the cemetery where my Grandma is.  They share a plot, and his name is already on the headstone next to hers.  As I stood there, looking at her name and the date we lost her, I prayed that she was watching over him and that she would take care of him once he leaves us.  I miss her so much, and I know that I will miss him as much.  I just can't imagine how he feels, spending so many years without my Grandma. 

 

 

I pray that this last weekend was not the last time I got to spend time with him, but from what I have been told, it's quite possible.  They have determined they will no longer drain the fluid in his body, and since I saw him just last weekend, his condition has quickly deteriorated.  I just pray that he doesn't have to suffer much longer and that he feels the love of all of us around him.  Because if one thing is clear after this weekend - he is loved.  Very much so.  I feel so blessed to have him as my Grandpa. 

 

 

Again, I'd like to thank all of you for your sweet messages and prayers.  I apologize my blogs haven't been their normal tone.  I'm going to try my hardest this week to put out something a little more upbeat...maybe a Spin Cycle?  But truly, thank you all.  It means so much to me and my family.

  

Gratitude

This post won't be one of my longer posts, but I did want to express my gratitude and tell you just how humbled I am by your kind words and prayers here on my blog and on Twitter.  We were able to go see my Grandpa in the nursing home this last weekend, for only about an hour, and we will be seeing him at the official reunion this weekend.  I am hopeful he can visit with the family in the comfort of my uncle's house and not the nursing home. 

 

 

Please still keep praying, as he is not doing much better.  I received an email yesterday indicating that doctors have said hospice services need to be contacted and that he has six months tops in terms of his kidney function.  After seeing him this weekend, though, I honestly feel that number is being generous.  He was in good spirits when we saw him, but his memory is not there, and he is quite weak and ill.  In his room he had several pictures of my Grandma, one of them being her senior picture from high school.  Several times in the conversation, he asked if we knew who the lady was in that picture and talked about how beautiful she is and how wonderful of a wife she was.  She truly was.  And I know he misses her, and I have no doubt when it is his time to leave us, he will be reunited with her. 

 

 

I had a hard time leaving him on Sunday, and when I hugged him, I didn't want to let go.  But I am coming to terms with the fact that we all need to.  I hope that this weekend gives him joy and happiness where he can spend time surrounded by his entire family and those who love him.  But I also hope that he does find the peace he needs. 

 

 

Thank you all so much for everything - I truly feel blessed to have such an outpouring of support with people I have never met in person.  You have touched my heart, and I know your prayers and thoughts help.  Thank you!