13.1

Tomorrow morning I will be getting up at an ungodly hour, a time which is just wrong to have to wake oneself up on a weekend morning, to go walk 13.1 miles.  And I'm doing this voluntarily.  No one is forcing me to do this, no one has made me do it.  No, I did this on my own free will.  In fact, I paid a great amount of money to participate in this ritual. 

What is wrong with me?

Maybe I was dropped on my head as a child.  Or exposed to some sort of radiation that prevents me from making sound, rational decisions. 

And the even more sick and twisted thing?  T is doing it, too.  And we've been getting up every Saturday since January to train for this thing.  Getting up at 7:00 a.m., no less.  Sacrificing sacred sleeping time. 

I should talk to my doctor about this.

And now it's looking like the 3 hours I have dedicated myself to walking Saturday morning will either 1) be completely in the rain or 2) partially in the rain.  None of these options is making me too pleased.  Walking in wet shoes, an activity I did just a month ago when I walked the 15k, is not something I wish to relieve.  But if I'm going to do this, I'm following through.  But I am seriously considering doing an "anti-rain" dance this evening in hopes that the weather man is drastically wrong. 

But I will be crossing that finish line.  And then I'm taking myself straight to the psychiatrist.

  



I'll read the directions next time

 I'm an attorney, and I oftentimes feel like I have some form of A.D.D..  So that presents problems.  One of those is the fact that I don't thoroughly read things.  It's a skill I acquired in law school.  When you're given 100s of pages to read in a night, you learn to skim.  Get the facts and forget all of the other stuff.  Now, that works when you're reading tons of case law, but not in other aspects of life.

I hate reading directions.  I toss out my owner's manuals, a practice which stopped as soon as a horrified T realized this and took over the filing system.  I am simply not a details person.  I like to get the big picture, what things are really all about.  I'll get the details later.  T, on the other hand, is a huge details person.  (Being an engineer, I think it's a requirement.) 

This can get me into trouble.  It's not always a big deal, but sometimes it's just those little inconveniences that I'm like "oh shoot, if only I had read that correctly!"  Case in point:

One of my employees called into a local radio contest and won free lunch for all of us at the office at Penn Station.  Awesome, right?  A few days before, we had to fill out order sheets for what each of us wanted.  All I wanted was their regular steak sandwich, no cheese (lactose intolerance and what not...)  So I just wrote "no cheese" under where I checked off for the sandwich type.  Done and done. 

So Wednesday, we all head into Penn Station and wait for our orders.  Mine is delivered, and well, it looked kind of weird.  It had this weird red sauce on it.  And were those banana peppers?  And mushrooms?  What gives?  I look at the receipt taped to the sub and sure enough, the sub had pizza sauce, onions, mushrooms, mustard and banana peppers on it.  Not at all what I ordered.  But I didn't want to speak up because, well, it was free, you know?  Beggars can't be choosers after all.

So I ate it.  And it was awful.  First of all, who in God's name puts pizza sauce on a Philly steak sandwich?  You'd get your ass kicked in Philly for that.  And banana peppers?  Hot.  But I ate it because I don't like to admit when I'm wrong.  And I paid for it.  Heart burn and bad, too.  All afternoon and even into the evening.

I mentioned to my coworker the next day about how awful I felt after I ate that and wondered why they thought I'd want all that.  She asks "well, didn't you see you had to cross off the items you didn't want?" 

Wait, what?

Um....no.

So I suffered because of my lack of reading directions.  That's what I get for doing things too quickly.  But
seriously, who does that?  Wouldn't you normally check off the things you want and not the other way around?  Come on!  

But I digress....maybe I need to start reading directions.  My stomach depends on it.

  



Love set me free

"Love it will not change you, betray you or dismay you, it will set you free, make you more like the man you were meant to be." 

Awhile ago, I got T into the group Mumford and Sons.  I really liked two of the songs they had on the radio, and I wanted to hear more.  This Shakespearean quote is on the very first song on their CD, and immediately I was taken with it. 

I like to think that you can substitute the word "woman" for the word "man," and in fact, I have done just that in my mind. 

Before I meant T, I thought that I had to change myself to be exactly what that person needed me to be in order to have a relationship work.  Sure, you do have to compromise, as does the other person, in any kind of relationship, and you grow and change with that person.  However, I took that to the extreme and held back major parts of who I was and what I wanted in life just to make a relationship work.  Relationships that were pretty much doomed from the start. 

I can't begin to tell you how many times I would meet him, the guy I hoped would be "Mr. Right."  We'd start dating, he'd be saying all the right things and then "bam."  There's that thing.  That one thing that has sirens going off in my head, but nine times out of ten, I could ignore those sirens and think "it's OK, I can get used to it."  So what if he doesn't like going anywhere on the weekends?  Dates are overrated.  So he likes guns and gun shows? I can go to them.  (For the record, I'm anti-gun so this was a big deal to me.)  So he talks down to me?  It's probably because I'm being silly or something.  Maybe he's just teasing.  So he wants me to come see him every weekend long distance and never see me?  That's OK.  Heck, I'll probably move where he is anyway.  He does drugs?  It's okay...most artists do.  He thinks I should try being a blond and go tanning?  Maybe I should...it's not like he's asking for much.  He has no desire to see my family and meet my nieces and nephews?  It's okay...some day he will....I'm sure of it....

Yeah...those are all true situations, I'm afraid to say.  I compromised what I wanted out of a relationship, who I was, how I wanted to be treated.  I thought that was what you did for love.  You made sacrifices, but somewhere along the way it was me who was sacrificing, and I was sacrificing who I truly was. 

I have never once felt that way with T.  Not once.  I was pretty hard at first for him to crack to see who I truly was, I'll admit.  But those sirens never went off.  Not once.  I've never had to modify myself to be someone who he wanted me to be.  He loved me for who I was:  the girl who can burp louder than he does, the girl who makes up lyrics to songs playing on the radio and sings them over and over again and off key, the girl who dances to and knows all the words to "The Humpty Dance," the girl who unapologetically loves watching shows like Hoarding and Ghost Hunters, the girl who would do anything and everything to protect those she loves, the girl who can quote Airplane! quotes and does quite frequently, while at an airport or in any given situation, the girl who picks at her fingers when she's nervous, the girl who likes to be right  but isn't afraid to admit when she's wrong, the girl whose Southern accent slips out every now and then, the girl who falls asleep every night in the nook under his left arm while we're watching TV, no matter how early it is. 

He has shown me true love.  Love that does not betray me or dismay me.  His love has truly set me free, and I have no reservations in saying that his love has made me be the woman I was meant to be. 

 



I'm coming out...

I have had this blog for about one year....I believe the exact date is May 14th...but that would require me to actually check my facts before writing them, and well, I don't feel like doing that.  Regardless, I've had it for awhile now.  And like many of you fellow bloggers out there, I have chosen to keep this blog private.  Very few people from my "real" life know about it.  Until recently.

This last weekend, as I took Pursey Galore out and about, I knew that I would have to explain to my family as I took pictures of said purse.  I knew that I would get questions as to "hey, um, what's up with that purse?"  So, I decided "screw it" and I decided to let the secret out. 

It's not that I had any particular reason for not telling anyone.  Well, that's not true.  Part of me worried about the judgment I may get for it.  Part of me was worried that my friends and family would think I would put too much personal information out there.  (Hardly a concern considering I'm pretty close to the chest with my private affairs...)  And part of me just wanted to have that forum out there where I could express myself openly without any judgment or reservations. 

It has become a problem keeping the secret in the past, I'll admit.  There have been occasions where both T and I have almost said "oh, that's like you said in your blog" or "this would make a really good blog post!"  But we've been pretty damn good about it.  And it's not that I've lied per se...more a lie of omission.

However, I let that slip over drinks this week. Well, not so much slip as I just said "Yeah, I have a blog."  I got lots of "what?  how long?"  And telling them I've had it for a year, and oh yeah, I'm writing a book.  Boom.  Bombshell. 

I'm sure there will be some judgment.  Honestly, I don't care, though.  A huge part of me is relieved.  It's out there.  Take it or leave it. 

What about you guys?  Do your "real life" friends know about your blog life?

  



Small Treasures

It's Small Treasure Tuesday


This morning, I watched this clip on the Today Show (You all do know my love for all things Matt Lauer), and on the show, they were interviewing an author who wrote a book called 1000 Awesome Things.  The author, Neil Pasricha, started it off as a blog, writing a list of the small things in life he considered "awesome."  You know?  Those small things that make you step back and smile and appreciate the little blessings.  It's also what Chantel's blog does with her Small Treasure Tuesdays!  So, to me, here are the things I considered awesome today:


The smell of coffee and cooked bacon as I woke up this morning.  (Thanks T!)


The first taste of coffee for the day.


Freshly laundered sheets


Flipping through the channels and coming across Hoarding: Buried Alive


Warm chocolate brownies, fresh out of the oven


A new pair of shoes


Getting a letter from an old friend
. 

Spending the evening in watching TV with T


So those are some of my small treasures for the day, but one big treasure is my niece, Roo - today is her 5th birthday!  I can't believe she's already five! 


What small treasures are you celebrating today?
  

Motivation Monday

Happy Motivation Monday, everyone!  So this is it...this weekend is the race I've been training for....the biggie, the race to end all races (Okay, maybe just a tad dramatic, but...)  This Saturday, T will be running and I will be walking 13.1 miles in the Indianapolis 500 Festival Mini Marathon.  And I'm totally nervous.  I'm just hoping I finish.


So that's my motivation this week...I need motivation for this weekend and get myself ready physically, but more importantly, mentally, to do this race.  Half of the battle is the mental part, so I'm going to go to my "Zen" place in my head, which is usually a pub in Dublin with a pint of Guinness, and I'm going to keep that image in my mind as I walk those long 13.1 miles.  Because, let's face it, that's a long freaking way.  So think positive thoughts for T and myself as we count the days down to this huge goal we've been working towards since January. 


So that's my motivation...what's yours?  You know the drill, just write about whatever it is that is motivating you...whether that be to wear matching socks each day...or to remember to brush your teeth each day...or remember to hit the garage "open" button before backing out of the garage...(wait, that wasn't anyone else?  Just me?  Oh.  Okay...)  Whatever that maybe that you need to motivate you, write that post, link it up to my blog using that adorable button to your right, and comment to this post by copying and pasting your link in the comment.  It's SO easy and all of the cool kids are doing it. 


Now let's get motivated!

Chloe at My New Life as a Housewife
Amber at Amber LaShell Rants
Chantel at My Thoughts and Treasures



Weekend adventures

So....I am so excited to share that this last weekend I was the host for Pursey Galore!  For those of you not familiar with the project, check out their site.  It supports an amazing cause, and well, I'm always down for a glittery purse!  And it was perfect timing for my 30th birthday celebration!  I knew Pursey would be ready for a fun evening....


We had plans to go out with my family and friends, and since I was the birthday girl, it was a must that we both got dressed to the nines.  Here we are heading out for our celebration.... 

 

 
Pursey Galore is a classy gal, but I'm more of a wings and beer kind of girl, so we headed for one of my favorite places, the Ale Emporium.  Here we are beginning our night (the hat was supplied by my sister, but it only stayed on just briefly...no hat hair, you know?)

Pursey enjoyed some buffalo wings with T....

And had a good dark beer with me..here she is enjoying a nice "Old Leg Humper."  And yes, I got the beer only for it's name.  It was much too tempting....

The night was a fun one.  Full of laughter, friendship and of course, good food and beer.  And Pursey and I had the chance to bond....

Of course, the sad part is now that I'm 30, by the time it hit 11:00 p.m., I was good to go.  How sad is that?  Ten years ago, I would have been just starting.  But we had our fun, and it was time to sleep...

 

Pursey and I had a great time together, albeit brief.  Now she's onto her next destination....who knows?  Maybe we will cross paths again some day!