Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Up and moving

I was totally not ready for this week.  My little girl, my baby, is a toddler and was transitioning into the toddler classroom.  We bring her there in the morning to her infant room, and then she moves around 9:30 a.m. or so to her toddler class.  Monday was her first day, and I'm not going to lie...it was hard.  For me.  Aubrey takes it like a trooper.  I think I have one of the most laid back kiddos ever.  I don't think there will be a problem at all with this change, but Mommy?  Man, I love her infant teacher.  She has been awesome.  So I am the one totally not ready to leave the classroom.  But needless to say, Aubrey did fabulously. 
And little miss is walking.  No more creeping.  She is letting go and walking.  It is so cute, and we couldn't be more proud of her.  Poor thing this last weekend was walking in the kitchen, and she face planted and gave herself a bloody nose.  I know it's one of many boo-boos, but it still broke my heart.   But she is doing so well!
The only thing she's not good with is the sleeping on the cot.  That doesn't surprise me much considering she's a stubborn girl when it comes to nap time anyway.  But I think she'll come around to it. 
So when did my little girl turn into a toddler?  Did I blink and miss something?  Slow down, kiddo.  Just for a little bit....

Monday, April 29, 2013

Motivation Monday!

Motivation Monday

Happy Motivation Monday!  I'm not doing these weekly per se, but I figure, why not for this week?  I have the big 13.1 miles coming up this Saturday.  I've done two of these before, but every time, I get nervous.  This is my first mini actually running in it, so I hope all goes well.  It's funny because this race gets like 30,000 plus participating, so you get put in corrals.  You have to give an estimated pace time when you register, and I swear, my time wasn't that bad, but I'm in corral X.  Last time I was in T.  Not sure how I got that far back, and the thing that sucks is it'll take me 45 minutes to an hour to actually get to the start line because I'll be that far back.  But I think I can do it!  It'll be a great feeling of accomplishment after I'm done. 

So this week I'm focusing on eating right and exercising in the mornings to keep the muscles going.  I managed to run both days this weekend, though eating like complete crap since we went out for my birthday.  T and I actually got to go on a date night, which was awesome, and we hit up my favorite place Buca di Beppo.  Chianti, chicken parmesan and of course, tiramisu.  So worth it.  And the leftover tiramisu was just as good Sunday night.  But...not every day is my birthday so I better get back to it! 

I'm also working this week on the positivity.  I'm not sure why, but I'm not really looking forward to this week after the bad news and difficulties from last week.  We're still waiting for news for T's thing, and I really really hope we hear something.  Maybe a belated birthday present.  Just need to keep going...keep the eye on the prize!

And today is a big day for Miss Aubrey.  This week she will begin her transition to the toddler classroom.  Now that she is walking (and seriously, she's doing really well at it), she's ready to move.  It's for the best because she is getting bored in the infant room.  But her Mommy isn't so ready.  I can't believe she's a toddler already.  And I love her infant teacher.  I'm probably going to cry her last day there.  But she's going to love it, I just know it.  She's such an easy going kid, so I'm sure this change will be nothing for her.  I'll keep you all posted on how the change goes!

So here's to another week!  Let's get this party started and keep motivated!  Hope you all have a great and motivating start to your week, too!

Friday, April 26, 2013

Apple, tree, you, and me

Second Blooming
This week's Spin Cycle brought to you by Gretchen at  Second Blooming is all about apples and trees. And how apples don't fall too far from trees.  Or maybe they do.  Anyway, so I don't know...I'm not sure you can say my apple falls closely to my family tree because there aren't any big traits of my family I have picked up.  I look a lot like my mom, and I do have my dad's sense of humor and gigantic head size (physically, not figuratively), and like my mom, when I am really stressed, I clean.  I clean the hell out of things like a mad woman.  It's a stress-reliever for me, but it's effective. 
Anyway, with our kiddo, I think the apple falls equally from both trees.  Looks?  She's her Daddy, I can't deny that:

Like daughter, like daddy.  But she does have certain traits of mine.  She sleeps with her hand near her face (something that she has done since being in the womb and something I probably have done since that myself.  She's a little stubborn like her Mommy (she gets that from her Daddy, too).  She's inquisitive like her Daddy, has to examine everything, look it over and really figure it out.  Who knows?  Maybe she'll be an engineer.  She does little things like I did as a kid, though.  She loves her miniatures, constantly playing with her little Sesame Street characters, moving them from one point in the room to another, taking them separately.  It's hilarious.  Every day she does the same thing, and she always puts them in the same spot in the living room.  Oddly enough I used to do something very similar when I was a little kiddo.
But really....there is this:

They are two peas in a pod, aren't they?  So what other apples don't fall far from their trees?  Stop by Gretchen's and check it out!  And happy weekend!

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Give me a break

So I'm having one of those weeks where I'm starting to lose faith.  Seriously, it's tough.  I keep going back to the "let go and let God" motto, but I have my days where I don't know how much of that can help at times.  (Awful, isn't it?)  I hate to be doubting myself like that, but yesterday specifically I just hit a wall where I was asking myself "really?  can we get a break now?" 
I don't talk about my job a ton on here, but I know I have some.  I'm a director of a legal services agency, and we're a non-profit, which means we run solely on grants and donations.  And the economy is down.  And government is cutting back.  And cutting back means programs get cut, which means funding gets cut, which means OUR funding gets cut, which means bad things for the agency.  I hate that I've had to make job cuts since starting my position, but each year we lose more and more money.  And we've recently hit quite a huge loss.  Just when I thought I found a way to help dig us out of that big hole of funding cuts, I get a letter that "surprise!  Another government grant has been cut!"  I mean, what's another $30,000, right?  I just wanted to put my head in my hands and cry because there is only so much that I can do.  But it all rests on me, as the director, but...I can't make money just appear, you know?  It's just a lot of pressure, and it breaks my heart because I don't want to see this fail.  I don't want to let the people we help down, my staff down, my family down.  The service we provide is so important and helps so many people.  But I'm just one person.  And things are coming up short.  And at some point, it's out of my control.
And the news we're waiting on for T....we're still waiting.  All we do is wait.  We're supposed to hear something sometime, but seriously?  How long can this take?  I pray every morning and every night that we get some kind of answer - yes or no - at least an answer.  And I keep telling myself to be patient, I can't make things happen when I want them to, they just have to happen in their own time.  Well, it's too slow dammit.  And patience is a virtue, but it is one that I just don't have. 
So I need time to speed up and a decision to be made (vague, I know), and I need to come up with thousands of dollars for my agency.  Where is my genie in a bottle? 
I'm hoping my faith in humanity will be restored somewhat as we approach this weekend.  I mean, it's my birthday, right?  So I need to suck it up, buttercup, but for now?  For now I just want a break.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013


I'm turning 32 on Sunday.  32.  Really?  32?  When did that happen? 

So I heard this annoying song on the radio by Taylor Swift.  Actually that's redundant, sorry.  I heard a Taylor Swift song on the radio.  Talking about being 22 and how carefree and crap they are that age.  And like most Taylor Swift songs, it played over and over in my head like the "Its a Small World" song.  So I came up with my own lyrics.  To this annoying song, but thinking about how unlike Taylor, I'm freaking 32. 

It feels like one of those night...where we hit the Depot...and talk about paint colors...uh-huh, uh-huh...it feels like one of those nights where we talk about grass seed and plan our garden over dinner at Applebee's. I don't know about you, but I'm feeling 32...everything will be alright...if I go to bed by midnight...

I'll stop there, but trust me, I was coming up with more in my head as I drove.  But seriously - 32?  I know, I know...there are some of you out there who are saying that 32 isn't old, and I'm not saying it's old per se.  It's just hard for me to say "yeah, I'm 32."

In fact, one of my staff attorneys the other day, when talking about how she graduated high school in 2005 (me, having graduated freaking law school in 2006), and I mentioned that I had been sworn in as an attorney for almost seven years now.  She made some comment about how wow, I'm not a new lawyer anymore, which is true, but then she said something about me not being a young lawyer.  I quickly corrected her that technically, according to the state bar standards, I'm considered a "young" attorney until I'm 35.  That's three more years, dammit. 

Question - since when did Full House become a Nick at Nite staple?  And I heard a dirty rumor that Friends was to be added to that list?  What the what? 

And I swear, a part of me dies inside when I see pictures of kids in high school dressing for 1980s parties.  None of them actually being alive in the 1980s.

This past weekend was a big one at Indiana University - Little 500.  It's this huge basically party for an entire week into the weekend around a bike race on the Saturday.  It's just a reason for college kids to drink.  And when I went to IU?  It was a hell of a lot of fun.  So flash forward almost 10 years this May from my graduation from that fine institution...what was I doing that weekend?  Oh, playing on Pinterest and coming up with ideas and trying them to organize my house.  Yeah.  That happened.  Party up in the Nain and T household.  What, what?

So while I may not be old, I kind of feel that way some days.  But more than that, I'm just in disbelief.  I'm going to be 32.

Ooh, ooh, here's another one...

"It feels like one of those nights...to hit up the DVR and catch up on the Daily Show.  Uh-huh, uh-huh.  It feels like one of those nights, where we get a sitter and go out to Olive Garden.  Uh-huh, uh-huh.  Yeah, we're tired and feeling buzzed after one glass...of red wine...ooooh, yeah...I don't know about you, but I'm feeling 32.  The yard will be alright.  If it rains some tonight." 

Okay, okay, I'm done.  Thanks, Taylor, for the inspiration.  Go dress up like hipsters and do whatever 22 year olds do or whatever.  I'm going to take advantage of the fact my kid is asleep and hit the hay before ten.  Oh glorious sleep. 

I don't know about you.  But I am feeling 32.

Monday, April 22, 2013

Weekend recap

So rather than completely retire Motivation Monday, I decided I'm not going to do it every week necessarily, but maybe every now and then as I need the motivation.  Of course, I always need it, but coming up with clever ways to write about it isn't always so easy.  So no post today.  Rather, I'll tell you a little bit about our full weekend.  So it started off with my Open House on Friday:
Or actually lack thereof.  No one came on Friday, which left me majorly bummed and questioning myself.  And only one customer on Sunday.  Yeah....kind of left Nain feeling a little sad.  And maybe just a wee bit on the discouraged side.   
T set up our new patio set, which we must use as soon as the weather warms up.  We have this awesome new patio just teasing us saying "hey, use me!  Oh wait, it's too cold?  Sorry!"  I'm dying to have a cookout and use the new fire pit.  Someday soon....

Over the course of the weekend, I developed an healthy obsession to something I swore I would never do.  Pinterest.  I caved and joined.  And wow.  I have never wanted to try more crafty ideas in my life.  I think I need a 12 step group, but it has done some good in the Sullivan household.  We are slowly becoming more organized.  Well, T was already there, but I've made it no secret that I'm somewhat less than organized.  So I tried a few ideas I learned from the amazingly "with it" people on Pinterest.  Organizing Tupperware lids with a CD rack? Genius!

And as a way to clear off our counters and kitchen table:  using a dish rack and file folders to keep things separated and organized.  I think this is T's favorite so far, because it drives him crazy when I just leave stacks of papers randomly at places to take care of later.  So we'll see how this system goes:

And last, a Pinterest recipe, that was actually really pretty easy and very good:

Yep, I have a new way to waste my time.  I'm obsessed.  For the remainder of my weekend, or rather most of my weekend, I had this attached to me:

A 30 pound baby.  She's walking just a little bit but she gets around more by holding onto this as she makes her way around the house.  And always to Mommy.  I swear, you should see my arms.  I have some guns, baby.  Lifting this solid mass of baby really is a workout.  And as much as this little girl is the cutest attachment you could have, it does wear on you after awhile.  We took her to mass Saturday night, and as soon as we got in the church she was fussing.  Not a good sign.  One hour later, I was about ready to pull my hair out.  Get home, feed her, and then she decides to reenact a scene from the Exorcist as we hit bath time and bed.  As I pinned her down in the tub, trying my best to clean her, she desperately worked her way out of the tub.  The award for the best dramatic performance while taking a bath went to Miss Aubrey as she rivaled actresses in Hitchcock movies.  Or rather, as it was in the bath, you'd think we'd live in the Bates Motel.  T was beyond flustered by the time it was over and she was asleep, and I sat there in her room, feeding her her bottle before bed in tears.  I swore this would be the one and only child we would have, though the next morning the feeling wore off.  A few glasses of Merlot later and checking in on her as she peacefully slept, it started to change.  But seriously.  That was tough.  Is it bad when you're ready to take your kid to daycare by the time Sunday arrives?  This is Aubrey after stealing one of the cookies from my open house.  I let her have the rest...red velvet (yum!):

She is a funny kid, though.  Hurricane Aubrey hits our living room on a daily basis, leaving toys strewn about across the floor.  And as she crawls from here to there, she does not crawl around toys or objects to get from Point A to Point B.  No, she crawls straight through them.  The shortest distance between two points is a straight line, right?  If I'm sitting on the floor, she will struggle to crawl over both of my legs to get to a toy.  Crawling across the kitchen floor, she scales both bars of the highchair, crawling underneath it straight to the window so that she can promptly pull on the blinds.  This can only mean one thing.  My child is training to be America's Ninja Warrior. 
So that's our weekend in a nutshell.  How was yours?  And hey, anyone want to come watch my baby?

Friday, April 19, 2013

I've got a new way to walk

So guess what? 
A certain little girl has walked!  Yes, she's walked.  And I couldn't be any prouder.  Little Miss Aubrey took maybe two steps last weekend at church, but yesterday she took seven on her own.  Seven.  It's so cute.  She gets so proud of herself with this huge smile on her face, and Mommy and Daddy couldn't be any prouder.  But if we thought baby-proofing was something before, I have a feeling we are going to find even more things that we haven't quite "proofed."  I'm not sure we will ever get enough away from her, even if we were in some sort of padded room.  I think she would find a piece of the padding that is tearing and would rip it off the wall.
But....she WALKED!!! 
So you bet your sweet buns we will be practicing our walking this weekend among many things.  I think those Striderite shoes have done the trick!
Other than the walking (and I'm sure Sesame Street watching), I'm hosting two open houses for Mary Kay and helping T get our patio finished.  I promise there are pictures to follow, but we have gotten our patio furniture, which T will be putting together this weekend.  And if it starts to get just a little bit warmer, we will get to use the patio, so yay! 
Aubrey walked!  So now let's sing a little bit of this, and everyone have a great weekend!


Thursday, April 18, 2013

Curious little monkey

I got this idea from Christine at Inspired Life, so I do want to give credit where credit is due, but Christine posted about the things she is constantly saying "don't" for in her house.  In her comments she asked what do you find yourself saying "don't" about that you never though you would say?  I had a ton.  So I thought...you know, this would make a good post in and of itself.  I have a rather mobile one year old.  She's not walking yet, but she crawls like a fiend and cruises along furniture really well.  So she gets around.  And gets into everything.  Everything. 

Don't pull on the XM radio cord, Aubrey!
Stop taking your Sesame characters and hitting them on our metal fireplace door!
Stop hitting the fireplace!
Stop trying to overturn the end table!
Stop pulling on the computer cord!
Don't put it in your mouth!
Stop pushing on the screen door!
Don't pull on the blinds!
Stay away from the bathtub faucet!
No, don't chew on Daddy's phone. 
Where did you get that?
Don't throw your food on the floor.
Don't chew on stove door handle! (Yep, teeth marks now on my brand new stainless stove)
Don't lick the stainless.
Don't play with the recycling.
Don't pull Mommy's hair, sweetie. 
Don't pull on that necklace.
Don't tear up that book.
Don't chew on your bed, Aubrey!
Dear God, how did you chew on your bed so much?  What are you?  Part beaver?

I'm not always yelling at my daughter, don't get me wrong.  But seriously...sometimes I wonder where she finds things to do, what goes through her mind to come up with these things and for God's sake...why? 

She's my curious little monkey, what can I say?


Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Wordless Wednesday

I am writing this as I sit on the couch watching Modern Family DVR with aches and a fever.  So I'm going wordless.  This is where I wish I was right now....
Oh Dublin, how I miss you....


Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Quotes to live by

Second Blooming
This week's Spin Cycle, brought to you by Gretchen at Second Blooming is on quotes.  So I've chosen some quotes that are significant to me and inspire me or capture my feelings at a given moment in time.  I'm a quotes person, and these are just three that I often use: 
"Don't let someone dim your light simply  because it's shining in their eyes."
I am often surrounded by negative people.  Not naming names or anything, but not everyone is my cheerleader.  I enjoy a joke now and then, but I often find myself the butt of people's jokes.  So sometimes when I get really excited about something I'm doing or really am working hard at something, and I share it with certain people in my life, it is followed with sarcasm, a joke or a negative jab.  And I'm the kind of person who takes these jabs to heart.  I let them soak into my heart and my mind, and there they fester until I feel pretty much awful about myself.  So I believe it was Real Simple magazine's Daily Quote where I got this particular one.  I have written down and taped to my computer screen, as well as on our refrigerator and I read it when I'm in those moments.  Does it change my mode of thinking?  Not always.  But it's a reminder that sometimes those negative comments are because the person is jealous and feeling insecure that they aren't shining that light. 
"Cast your fears upon God, for he cares for you." 
I repeat this Bible verse over and over in my head in times when I'm particularly scared or anxious about something.  As I walked into the OR for Aubrey's arrival, I said this verse in my prayer as a silent prayer that God would watch over the two of us during surgery.  When I worry about my health, T's job, my job, my family, I'll repeat this over and over again.  It's like my mantra. It may not be a long prayer, but it's one that truly encompasses my thoughts at that given moment.
And I know that my previous quotes were serious ones, so I'll end with perhaps an inappropriate quote, but one that keeps me laughing nonetheless....
"I'm surrounded by assholes!"
And this, my friends is what I think over and over in my  head I deal with some attorneys or well...other people in the world around me, specifically in the grocery store :-).
 So those are my quotes.  What quotes mean a lot to you?  Stop by Gretchen's and see what other spinners have to share! 

Monday, April 15, 2013

Motivation Monday!

Motivation Monday

So I'm not going to lie...I've been debating in my head whether I want to continue doing Motivation Monday posts.  Back in the day when I started, people would participate with me, and that was no problem when that backed off.  But then I've started to notice the posts I get few to no comments are the Motivation Monday posts, so....I don't know.  I might have to retire those for a bit. 

I am coming upon a few weeks until the mini-marathon.  I'm pretty nervous about it, but I think I've trained enough to at least survive.  I hope to get a few short runs in this week to keep up with the training (and well, yeah, for stress management, too).  It's tough getting up at 5:30 a.m., especially with the teething Aubster waking up at 3:00 a.m. crying makes it tough.  So at least three days a week would make me happy. 

Aside from that I find myself searching for inspiration...or at least positive energy for the week.  While this week will not in any way be as tough as last week with work, I do have quite a few deadlines looming by the month's end.  I've planned an open house for this weekend on Friday and Sunday for my Mary Kay business, so I am motivated to work hard at promoting this event and just get everything ready. 

So you know, as I find myself writing this post, I am at a bit of a loss on what to write so yeah, maybe I might retire the Motivation Monday posts.  Or maybe put them on sabbatical.  Because maybe they'll return.  Who knows?  Stranger things have happened! 

But I do need motivation - so let's get running and let's get working!  And let's get one step closer to Friday!


Friday, April 12, 2013

I think I need to relisten to that Chicago song from yesterday because I could use some inspiration.  It's Friday, and I know I should be all "heck yeah, it's Friday!"  And don't get me wrong...I am glad it's Friday, but I find myself feeling a little down and a little frustrated this morning. 

I'm beyond impatient for the news we are waiting for on T's whole situation.  I'm such an immediate person and expect things to just happen as soon as possible, and it kills me when things are drawn out...especially when the possibility for disappointment is out there.  I'm trying to have faith that it'll all be okay, but I'm not an optimistic person to begin with so being optimistic and patient, while at the same time being strong for T.  I struggle with this:  
Images courtesy of versesinspireme.com
My own job has its special area of struggles.  Working for a non-profit can be both rewarding and frustrating at the same time.  The financial aspect is always so uncertain.  We rely on funding, private but mostly government, and with the economic climate and cuts in federal funding, we are losing money every year.  Every year, I try like hell to find more, and this year I have a rather large amount to compensate for, and being the boss, my whole agency depends on me and is looking to me for guidelines.  I'm always a challenge person and like to try to solve problems, but sometimes it is just so overwhelming.  Yesterday was one of those days, and I find it carrying over to today.
So I kind of find myself down in the dumps this morning, quickly falling more into the dumps.  I suck at pulling myself up and out of the dumps, but I'm trying this morning.  I am looking forward to spending the weekend with T and Aubrey.  So I will focus on that and not the weight of the world I feel on my shoulders instead.  Andy maybe listen to that Chicago song just one more time.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

You're the inspiration

Second Blooming
This week's Spin Cycle, brought to you by Gretchen at Second Blooming is on inspiration.  Immediately, I thought of this:
Now that I have that song playing in your mind (and it's a good song, you know), there are several things that inspire me.  Several things, people, places, etc.  And as of lately, I really feel like I have been reaching out more to these, and this list is not in any particular order, specifically in level of importance.  You're just getting my stream of consciousness here.
I get inspiration from T.  I see him pursue his dreams and work so hard at what he does, in everything he does.  He inspires me to improve myself, to push myself, to pursue my own dreams.  Cheesy reference aside, but he truly is, like Peter Cetera says, my inspiration.
Aubrey inspires me every day.   When I was running the 15k last weekend, and I was struggling to keep going, I thought of her.  I do everything in this world for her, and I want to make myself a better person because of her.  I want to be an inspiration for her some day, a role model of what she wants to be when she grows up. 
Music - sometimes all you need is a good song to get you going.  It really depends on the day and what kind of inspiration I need.  You should see my list of Pandora stations or the music I have on my iPod for running.  These days, I find myself pulled towards songs with deeper meanings like this:

I read to be inspired.  I find myself inspired by other bloggers out there, those who make me laugh, those with whom I can relate, those who so sincerely and openly share their heart and life with the world. 

And more importantly, I am inspired by prayer, by God.  I go to church to be inspired.  I pray.  I journal.  I take time to go to my church's Adoration Chapel and just be.  I have found myself doing this so much more lately, and honestly, the difference in my heart is noticeable.   I find myself seeking inspiration, seeking to learn, seeking to change. 

It matters not how you find inspiration.  All that matters is that something inspires you.   So what does inspire you?  Find out what others have to share at Gretchen's, and join in on the spin fun and share your inspiration.  And go ahead, scroll back up there and replay that Chicago video.  You know you want to.  I won't judge.  Hell, I'm going to make it easy for you.  Here it is again:

Sing it with me "You bring meaning to my life, you're the inspiration...when you love somebody (till the end of time), when you love somebody (always on my mind - no one needs you more than I).  Okay, okay, I'll stop now... 

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

I've got nothing

Random.  That's what you get from me today...sorry guys!  I'm in a mid-week slump, more than ready for this weekend to get here.
So it's been beautiful and warm and all spring-like out every single day this week, but I wouldn't know.  Because my office is a cave.  If I didn't have furniture in there or pictures on the wall, it may as well be one padded room (minus the padding but with the white walls).  It's enough to drive a lady crazy.  I regularly text T to see what the weather is like out there.  There could be a tornado and 1) I wouldn't hear the siren; 2) I would have no idea; and 3) it probably wouldn't matter because our office is about as safe as you get in terms of lower level interior room.  But I would like to enjoy some spring!
T and I need positive thoughts and prayers now more than ever.  I can't really divulge what but let's just say it would be a positive change, a much needed change, and it's out of our hands now so all we can do is just wait and pray.  How's that for vague?
And no, it's not me being pregnant.  Heck. No. 
So I've discovered that we have zero spring clothes for the little one.  It's sad, really.  We're just bad parents.  We have maybe 2 short sleeved shirts and that's it.  So I'm going to pop some tags this weekend and hit up some thrift shops.  I'll probably have more than $20 in my pocket, but I'm sure it will be _______ awesome. 
I could use some new clothes, as well.  I know this is a whoa is me moment, but none of my spring/summer clothes fit any more.  Good thing I have a birthday coming up....or maybe I need to go pop some tags for myself, too.  Throw an extra $20 in there?
So you know how I talked about our douchey neighborhood many blog posts ago about the remodeled 1990s douche-mobile black Camero with no muffler that he drives, or no, speeds down the street?  Well, one of his cars was repossessed last week.  We heard the tow truck at 11:00 p.m. and were sadly disappointed to see it wasn't the black car.  And apparently they got "served" with something the other day.  So who knows?  Maybe it'll be an early birthday presents, and they'll be out of here before Aubrey is old enough to play around in the yard.  I still will have to get all lawyer on him if he continues to drive recklessly in the neighborhood.  In fact, I might enjoy that. 
I have court today.  It's rare I'm in the courtroom these days with all of the grant reporting and writing, and so every time I am in court, I get all nervous.  Funny because of how much court time I had while working with DCS.  That, and I've been practicing for seven years now, so I should be cool with it.  But I think all (good) attorneys get a little nervous before any hearing.  It all depends on who you're up against, and I have reason to be a little nervous this morning. 
I'd much rather be with this little girl.  Notice the new shoes.  We went to Stride rite on Sunday, and we got Aubrey some new walking kicks.  She seems to like them so far, so here's hoping they help with the walking!
The other day, we were driving home from work, and while listening to the 1990s station on Sirius a song from the group Nelson came on.  And I actually got excited and says "Yes!  Nelson!" singing along to the music.  Yeah.  That happened.
I've been made to feel pretty old as of lately...my nephew starting to think about college, the fact I've been practicing law for seven years, out of college for ten this May.  And the fact that one of my staff attorneys graduated high school when I was turning 21 and was 14 when the first Justin Timberlake solo CD came out.  I am not even sure how old I was, but I'm for damn sure that N-Sync didn't even exist when I was 14.  I'm pretty sure I'm Justin Timberlake's age.  And I turn 32 in three weeks.  One of my staff attorneys said to me the other day "oh you're no longer a young lawyer!"  To which I corrected her..."young lawyer" by the State Bar standards is up to 35.  So I have a good 3 years.  I'm young, dammit! 
But along those same lines, I did see some picture on Facebook about weekends in your 20s and weekends in your 30s.  The one in your 20s was a picture of a bunch of friends doing shots at a bar.  The one in your 30s was a picture of Home Depot.  My. God.  It's like someone is recording our lives.  I mean you could add Target or Kroger to that, as well.  Oh, and Walgreens.  I guess you could say my weekends are becoming pretty duldrumatic.  (Right, CWMartin?)
Okay, so I'll stop with the random in a minute because this is getting long, but speaking of Walgreens....you know you have too many medical conditions and go to Walgreens too often when the pharmacist doesn't need to look you up when you pull into the drive-thru pharmacy.  You also know that you are a frequent shopper when the pharmacist sees you out at Target, recognizes you and says hi.  This is what a high risk pregnancy will bring you!  So the pharmacist and I are besties.  I'm going to invite her over Friday so we can braid each others hair and play Truth or Dare.
Alrighty, that's enough random for the day.  Here's hoping for a quick Wednesday, a painless court hearing and an even quicker Thursday and Friday!

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

If you can't laugh...

Day-to-day life as a full-time new mom and an attorney is stressful.  It just is.  We all have our stressors, so I'm not saying my stress is more than your stress.  Not by any means.  But sometimes, you have to find those ways to keep things light and find humor in your life or you'll go crazy.  I've found this to be true now more than ever. 
T and I regularly do this with Aubrey.  Her toys, trying to get the toys to spell dirty words or playing stupid songs on her xylophone toy.   Bugging each other with her annoying farm animal toys.  Making fun of the people on Sesame Street or Elmo's World.  (Definitely am going to have to start watching my language when I do this in the future.)
Some days...and I'm sure this makes me an awful mother...I just laugh.  At Aubrey's crying.  And not "I'm in pain" or "I'm sad" crying.  That crying is different.  It's the "I'm going to throw myself back or forwards and throw the worst tantrum you've ever seen, tossing everything around me" crying.  I was taking her up to nap one day when she did this.  I was carrying her, and she was just pitifully throwing the most dramatic tantrum, tossing her butterfly toy down the stairs.  I had to physically sit down because I was laughing so hard.  I mean, it was Oscar worthy.  Of course, she just looked at me like "what the hell, Mom? what is so funny?" 
There used to be moments when I was a Department of Child Services attorney when I did this.  Laughing at really inappropriate times.  I used to sit in on court with a fellow attorney on her docket day, and there were a few times, I admit, in the less-serious cases, when something so ridiculous was said by one of the parents that I had to walk out before I busted out laughing.  I think that, more than anything was a coping mechanism.
The court staff and Judge and we had a game, too.  The Judge will pull up a random word of the day from the dictionary, and it would always be some big word that no one really knew what it meant, and we would have to use it during court hearings in the most random contexts.  Like I would be updating the court on DCS's report, and I'd just randomly throw the word in there.  Or one of the public defenders would be presenting an argument and would just throw the word out there.  And we had to do it with a dead straight face.  No one else in the court room knew what the heck we were talking about, but the word was normally so big and formal sounding that it sounded like it belonged in some sort of legal argument.  Like I said, coping mechanism. 
At church a month or so ago, the Priest was talking about the meaning behind a certain Bible verse, and he kept using the term "erotic love" to describethese people who were sinners, but I swear, he said "erotic love" more than I ever want to hear a member of the clergy say ever.  And I could not stop laughing.  In church, of course.  Bad, Nain, bad.  He was being serious and making a point.  But I have the sense of humor of a 13 year old boy, I suppose. 
T and I'll make bets over what passive aggressive comments will be made first or how long it will take before one is made at family functions.  We'll make comments that only we understand.  And it's the only way we can get through stressful situations.
Sure, my sense of humor may be off-based sometimes.  It may be inappropriate, but you know...I have to laugh.  Because otherwise sometimes I'd cry.  And I choose to laugh.  So there.  Now tell that to my hysterical daughter who is now crying because I turned off the TV.

Monday, April 8, 2013

Motivation Monday!

Motivation Monday
It's time for another Motivation Monday!  So, I survived it...the 15k.  I got up at 6:30 on Saturday morning, thinking "I'm freaking nuts to be doing this," left T in bed and Aubrey in her bed and drove off in the dark to downtown so that I can run 9.3 miles.  Because that's what normal people do, right? 
I gotta say...the toughest part is the mental block.  That first mile seems endless.  The first three are rough, and every time you pass a marker for a mile you say "Hey!  Only 6 more to go!"  But I did luck out, and it was really nice out to run.  I finished in 1:46:02, doing an 11:26 per mile.  And that time includes one 5 minute potty break.  So I'm pretty proud of myself.  Of course Saturday and most of Sunday I could barely walk, but hey, proud of myself!  I'm not sure if I want to do one more long run before the mini.  It's about three weeks away, so I don't want to overdo it.  I did have a moment when I was running where I realized that last year at this time I couldn't do this, one year ago, I couldn't do this.  Hell, I've never been a runner.  But here I am, congenital heart defect and asthmatic, and I was running 9.3 miles.  Hell yeah!  (I'm not normally one to boast, but dammit, I say that is pretty good, right?)  So for people who say they can't exercise...hey, if I can do it, so can you!
I kind of gave myself freedom to eat like crap the rest of the weekend.  The reason?  I've lost too much weight.  I'm supposed to stay around 130, but the other day I saw I had slipped to 124.  I'm thinking it's the training and my body burning a lot more than it takes in.  I kind of got lectured by the doctor, so...I kind of let myself have a few treats this weekend.  Of course, I won't let it get out of control, but the size four pants are starting to get loose, and I don't have the fundage to buy new clothes.  Nor should I.  So I think I should probably focus now on the maintaining rather than the losing.  I'm sure this isn't something anyone wants to hear about, someone complaining about losing too much weight.  And I'm not complaining.  I'm just wanting to avoid getting yelled at, and I'd rather be healthy.  So...I must adjust! 
My goal this week is to keep doing the small runs to keep up the endurance.  And to continue to stay on top of things at work, and of course, remain positive.  I did pretty well focusing on the positive last week, but this week I have a lot going on, including court...so....positive vibes, positive vibes. 
I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend, and here's to another (quick) work week! 

Friday, April 5, 2013

Spring, do you hear me?

Second Blooming
This week's Spin Cycle brought to you by Gretchen at Second Blooming is on SPRING!   I don't know about all of you out there but I'm more than ready for spring to get here.  This past winter, at least in Indiana, has suuuucked.  Suck, suck, sucked.  I'm not a winter person by any means, but this one has stuck around for a long time.  So Gretchen says "Hey, let's encourage spring to get here by writing about the things we love about spring!"  So here are a few things:
Warmer weather and no longer wearing coats.  I don't mind jackets or sweatshirts, but not having to wear a jacket or brace myself for the cold as I leave the house sounds pretty awesome.
A green lawn, budding trees and blooming flowers
Getting to exercise outside.  Because running on the treadmill is boring, and it's always so much more inspiring when I'm outside running than when I'm inside facing the wall the entire time.
Going outside with Aubrey.  We got a new wagon for her for Christmas, and I can't wait to take her on walks in it.  She's going to love it.
Cookouts.  We had a brand spanking new patio built (I suppose I should put pictures of that up here soon, huh?), and I want to enjoy it!  Eating outside, staying out after we put Aubrey to bed, enjoying a nice glass of wine with T while sitting around our built-in fire pit.  Heck yes!
Spring fruit - berries, grapefruit, peaches...I love it all
Rain.  I know, most people hate it, but a nice spring shower?  Snuggling up on the couch, watching a rain shower roll in?  I actually enjoy that.  Not tornado weather by any means, but if there's a little thunder, I'm good with that.
My birthday is right smack in the middle of spring.  While yeah, I don't want to turn 32, it is always nice to have a day to yourself, isn't it? 
So those are just a few things that I love about spring.  So now that I've written all about it, let's get it together, weather!  I'm ready for spring!  So stop by Gretchen's and see what others have to share.  And let's get started, spring!

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Under pressure

I Googled blog ideas today.  I was coming up short on what to say.  Man, there's a lot out there.  One idea I had to laugh at because it was "write something while intoxicated."  Yes, drunk blogging.  That seems to be a stellar idea.  God knows I won't regret anything I post that way.  Writing a mission statement.  Yeah, I do that every day at work with grants.  Not sure I want to do that with something that is for fun.  Another one was "how would you like to die?"  Seriously?  People write about that?  The last one I'll make fun of?  Describe why you hate people from New York or Los Angeles.  Now, that's just mean.  And Gretchen is from Los Angeles, and I happen to think she's pretty fabulous so I'm not about to do that. 
So I'm going to write about a concern I have...my kid and walking.
Last Thursday I got a phone call from her daycare.  It's always a bad thing when I see her daycare name flash on my caller ID at work because my immediate thought is "shit, what illness does she have now?"   It was the team leader for all of the infant rooms.  If you recall, Aubrey was particularly slower than the other kids her age at crawling.  And they talked about having her do First Steps to crawl.  Well, she started crawling so that was a moot point.  Now she's at the toddler phase, and she'll need to leave the infant room and transition to toddler.  Every other baby in the room has already done this, and Aubrey's the oldest one still in the infant room where she is.  She can't transition until she walks well and steady enough on her own.  And she doesn't yet at almost 14 months.  And I suck.  As a mom. 
She does have a transition date of May 7th set, but honestly, I'm not sure if she'll be ready by then.  So I was told that the only other date they would have an opening would be August.  And that seems like a really long time away.  She'll be getting bored at that point.  And I got the guilt trip of making sure we're practicing walking at home.  You know, because I have all the time in the world with the 45 minute commute home, needing to feed her, bathe her and get her to bed at a decent time.  Sure, sure, I have time. And I was reminded how Aubrey was slow to sit up, to push herself up to crawling pose, to crawl, and now to walk.  And apparently we are being judged because we do not walk Aubrey from her classroom all the way out to the car.  Well, guess what?  I have to get home.  I can't take the time every day to slowly drag her down the hallway and parking lot to the car.  Plus, it's a pretty long hike for a little girl who is already tired.  But that has me on high alert now knowing they are watching something as picky as that.  What, am I not doing this right? 
It's the thing I hate.  Ever since we brought Aubrey home it's been pressure.  Is she doing enough tummy time?  Is she still using that pacifier?  What about sitting up all the time?  Why isn't she crawling?  Why isn't she walking?  She should be drinking solely from the sippy cup, why do you feed her with the bottle? 
It's enough to make me feel like one big Mommy failure.  I try the best I can with my child.  I like to think she's doing just fine.  She's quick at learning things, she babbles, she repeats things.  She just doesn't walk.  That's it. 
But I don't want her to get behind.  I want her to stay on track with the other kids her age.  I just get frustrated every now and then because I feel like there's so much pressure placed on her.  And she's one, people! 
Okay, so I went for a ranting blog post.  But you have to admit, it's a lot better than the ones I listed, above, right? 
But if I were to give the choice about how I die?  Peacefully, in my sleep.  And no, I will not write a blog post while intoxicated.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Easter weekend!

So I have Easter pictures to share!  It was a pretty busy weekend, what with the race on Saturday and family time on Sunday, including mass and breakfast out just the three of us.  It was crazy busy.  But most holidays are, right? 
The weekend started early on Saturday with the Bunny Rock 5k.  You got your own set of bunny ears and shades.  Like cheap 1980s shades, which I will likely now wear for other races even though they were solely for fun reasons.  But hey, free sun glasses!
Mommy and Aubrey before the race, and yes, I ran with the ears on.  And rocking the 1980s shades.

We finished!  This is one of my favorite pictures, and seriously, these two could not look any more alike.  So cute...

And I channeled my inner Martha Stewart and made an Easter cake to bring to our big family gathering.  This is supposed to be pretty easy.  Two round cakes, one of them being used to cut out two ears and the last part being a bow tie.  Well, the cake was way too moist so when I tried to get the face cake out, it fell apart so I used a TON of icing to keep it together.  A lot of icing.  But ain't nothing wrong with that!

Look!  The Easter bunny came!  For Mommy and Daddy, too!  It's hilarious because we got each other chocolate and coffee.  And T got me wine.  Says something about where we are in our marriage, right?  We got Aubrey some Sesame Street toys, puffs and books.  She was pretty excited.

Eating some puffs.....

Playing with her new toys...Zoey and Abbie.  She now has a pretty complete collection.

We headed up for Easter dinner with my family, which included, of course, a photo opp with the cousins.  Getting five kids to sit still and look at the camera?  Not so easy.  Took a few takes...


Aubrey didn't get much of a nap at all during the day and well...family everywhere is extremely hectic so she was wiped out when she got home, poor girl.  It was to bed an hour early, after a pitiful little bath and lots of crying.  But hey, she plays hard, folks.