Thursday, April 4, 2013

Under pressure

I Googled blog ideas today.  I was coming up short on what to say.  Man, there's a lot out there.  One idea I had to laugh at because it was "write something while intoxicated."  Yes, drunk blogging.  That seems to be a stellar idea.  God knows I won't regret anything I post that way.  Writing a mission statement.  Yeah, I do that every day at work with grants.  Not sure I want to do that with something that is for fun.  Another one was "how would you like to die?"  Seriously?  People write about that?  The last one I'll make fun of?  Describe why you hate people from New York or Los Angeles.  Now, that's just mean.  And Gretchen is from Los Angeles, and I happen to think she's pretty fabulous so I'm not about to do that. 
So I'm going to write about a concern I kid and walking.
Last Thursday I got a phone call from her daycare.  It's always a bad thing when I see her daycare name flash on my caller ID at work because my immediate thought is "shit, what illness does she have now?"   It was the team leader for all of the infant rooms.  If you recall, Aubrey was particularly slower than the other kids her age at crawling.  And they talked about having her do First Steps to crawl.  Well, she started crawling so that was a moot point.  Now she's at the toddler phase, and she'll need to leave the infant room and transition to toddler.  Every other baby in the room has already done this, and Aubrey's the oldest one still in the infant room where she is.  She can't transition until she walks well and steady enough on her own.  And she doesn't yet at almost 14 months.  And I suck.  As a mom. 
She does have a transition date of May 7th set, but honestly, I'm not sure if she'll be ready by then.  So I was told that the only other date they would have an opening would be August.  And that seems like a really long time away.  She'll be getting bored at that point.  And I got the guilt trip of making sure we're practicing walking at home.  You know, because I have all the time in the world with the 45 minute commute home, needing to feed her, bathe her and get her to bed at a decent time.  Sure, sure, I have time. And I was reminded how Aubrey was slow to sit up, to push herself up to crawling pose, to crawl, and now to walk.  And apparently we are being judged because we do not walk Aubrey from her classroom all the way out to the car.  Well, guess what?  I have to get home.  I can't take the time every day to slowly drag her down the hallway and parking lot to the car.  Plus, it's a pretty long hike for a little girl who is already tired.  But that has me on high alert now knowing they are watching something as picky as that.  What, am I not doing this right? 
It's the thing I hate.  Ever since we brought Aubrey home it's been pressure.  Is she doing enough tummy time?  Is she still using that pacifier?  What about sitting up all the time?  Why isn't she crawling?  Why isn't she walking?  She should be drinking solely from the sippy cup, why do you feed her with the bottle? 
It's enough to make me feel like one big Mommy failure.  I try the best I can with my child.  I like to think she's doing just fine.  She's quick at learning things, she babbles, she repeats things.  She just doesn't walk.  That's it. 
But I don't want her to get behind.  I want her to stay on track with the other kids her age.  I just get frustrated every now and then because I feel like there's so much pressure placed on her.  And she's one, people! 
Okay, so I went for a ranting blog post.  But you have to admit, it's a lot better than the ones I listed, above, right? 
But if I were to give the choice about how I die?  Peacefully, in my sleep.  And no, I will not write a blog post while intoxicated.


  1. The Daycare should back off a bit. If her doctor isn't worried then they need to relax a bit. Every kid is different and she's not out of the normal range for walking yet.
    THe mom pressure is always there--are they learning in school like they should, are they making friends, are they growing into decent people? It's always something.

  2. I think every baby/kid is different. The daycare shouldn't make you feel like a failure and put so much pressure on you.
    I think you're an amazing mom, Nain. You're doing a great job! Don't let them make you feel like a bad mom. :)

  3. Oh Alaina! You do not suck. As a mom. Or anything. Aubrey is Aubrey, not some Stepford child. And she is moving at her own pace and you are an awesome mom!! And please don't die in your sleep anytime soon.

  4. I agree with everyone! Trust me, you could do everything they say to do and they would still manage to find something to "talk to you" about. I learned that with my kidlet, no matter what you are doing there is always something you could/should do differently. If they are so concerned with her walking, are they doing anything to encourage her? I worked at a daycare/pre-school and with the parents permission we did things with the babies that worked on their physical, mental, and even emotional growth. By law they have to have a certain number of staff per baby, in the time the children are there, there should be time for them to work with each baby on his or her development. If they aren't then they are contributing to blob-dom. Have you asked them what they are doing to help her? NOT PUSH HER, but help her.

    Anyway, you are being a great mama to Aubrey. When she is grown she is not going to ask you why you didn't help her sit-up, crawl, or walk earlier. She is going to love you for being her mama.

    Lily-thinking thoughts

  5. She'll walk when she's ready. Kids have their own pace.

  6. Don't be so hard on yourself or on Aubrey. Like everyone says, she'll do it in her own time. And you'd be surprised how much can change in 2 months!

  7. I've got a story for you... I didn't walk until I was 18 months old and my mom was a stay at home mom! I just wasn't interested, the story goes. :) It gets better... my stay at home mom didn't even get to see me walk for the first time because I decided to do it when my grandparents were babysitting me, and my parents hardly ever left me with anyone! My grandparents thought my parents hadn't told them I was walking so they would be surprised, hahaha! Apparently I had some shoes on that day though, which I didn't usually wear, so perhaps the right pair of Air Jordans will do the trick. ;)

    Back to your story, who walks a one year old to the car? I mean, I know I don't have kids, and we know that if I did, they would be dirty, :) but it does sound pretty strange and time consuming to me. Does everyone else with kids her age seriously do that there?

    My parents found out they both walked late when they were worried about me. How did you and Tim measure up back in the day? ;) I think we may have reached an age when, at times at least, we know too much for our own good. :) I would suggest making a list of the people you know who never learned to walk. I think you'll feel much better. :D

    Oh, and I never crawled, hahaha. Another story for another day? I would've had your daycare tripping out, lol!


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