So I'm taking a step back from the multi-tasking right now...for awhile there I was trying to do a bit of everything - spending as much time with family as possible, working, blogging, writing articles, and yeah...the Mary Kay. But that has all kind of come to a screeching halt as of last week when T and I came to an agreement that I would stop Mary Kay all together. Now my focus is kind of on one thing - getting rid of all of it as soon as possible and recouping my loss as best I can.
Not an easy task.
I've done some research, and I'm one of many, many former consultants out there who have gone through pretty much the same thing as me. And by same thing, I mean exact same thing or even worse. I've become a frequent visitor to thepinktruth.com, and it amazes me just how widespread this scam goes. And yes, I said scam. It's too bad because I do like the product, but the business? Is a pyramid scheme and a scam. It's shocking just how many women out there have gone into debt, some into $20,000, $30,000 and up. Some of these women have gone through divorces as a result of hiding this debt from their husbands. The thing that scares me is that I did the exact same thing, just not to that high of a cost.
I'm probably torturing myself in a certain respect. But to me, it's kind of an awakening. And a process. And I don't want anything around to be a reminder of my mistake. (Did I mention I am hard on myself and hate messing up?)
So for right now, my focus is on getting rid of it all. So I have somewhat put other activities (i.e., writing) to the side while I close up business. It's not going to be a quick process, but I'm going to get it done.
The other part of "closing up shop," to me, involves mending fences in a way. See, I have this underlying fear right now - that I have alienated friends and family by forcing this "business" down their throats for three years. I feel like I've used them, I took advantage of them, and I would like to go to each and every one of them and apologize. T says this isn't necessary, but I don't know. I almost feel like it's necessary. I'd like to apologize to you, too, my readers, because I know that I have brought Mary Kay up in previous posts. And for that, I am sorry for trying to involve you in something that in the end was a scam. It makes me feel....just...icky. I appreciate all of my family and friends who supported me and did so no matter what because they wanted me to succeed. I really appreciate it, but I also really feel bad about it because I feel like I took advantage of that support, whether knowingly or not, I did it. And for that, I am truly sorry.
I hope that the "closing" process will actually be quicker than it seems right now. Because right now, it feels like quite the task. But I'm going to do it because I can and because I have to make it right.
One step at a time.