Friday, July 12, 2013

Parenting clash

Being on vacation with family – both families – has been interesting to say the least in terms of parenting.  By that, I mean respect for how T and I parent.  We’re not super strict per se, but we try to keep a routine for Aubrey so that she has a sense of consistency.  She does very well with it, and it makes our evenings and nights so much easier.  However, others…aren’t in agreement of this particular type of parenting.  I know not everyone will agree with everything we do, and I truly respect that.  But I do expect that everyone will at least respect it and not question it.  Granted, it was vacation, so we had to be flexible.  But those days where we did attempt flexibility, Aubrey missing a nap or taking an extremely short one were hell.  She just doesn’t do well with it.  But we tend to get push back on us standing our ground on it.  Honestly, this is one of the reasons why I’m glad to be heading home.  I want her to get back on that routine.  The poor thing needs it, at least in our opinion. 
It’s also hard to parent around other parents.  It’s hard to explain, but when your child is acting out, making a scene in public, you almost feel like the other parent or parents are judging you.  These other parents were siblings of ours, so I’m sure that was not the case.  However, you are more aware when you reprimand your child for something or when you choose to not reprimand your child for something that another parent may thing deserves it.  Or when you don’t rinse of a Sippy cup dropped on the church floor because really, it doesn’t matter in the end.  It just feels….weird. 
T and I experienced another problem during the latter part of the trip, and I’m not sure how to handle it.  What do you do when another parent tries to parent your own child?  In this situation, the other parent literally yelled at my child to eat her food.  It was like something I had never experienced.  Who does that?  Aubrey was hysterical as she was being yelled at.  I was in shock more than anything so I didn’t yell back at the other parent.  I knew if I did, I likely would have started a family feud so I kept my mouth shut and made Aubrey a different meal to eat, which she promptly ate.  There were a few other times this same person tried to correct Aubrey, and it dug under my skin.  I walked away from that whole situation thinking I failed Aubrey as a mother because I didn’t advocate for her.  But I felt trapped.  I hate to say it but I lost a lot of respect for that person after that incident.  I’m curious how other parents out there feel about that.  What do you do when another person tries to parent your child right in front of you?  I don’t really want opinions on how you would have handled the situation differently but maybe just tips in general.  I’m still learning this whole parenting thing, but this was the first time that ever happened to me.  And I didn’t like it.
T and I are doing what I know is our best, and I think we’re doing a pretty decent job so far.  It’s just interesting…being up close and personal in other parenting space. 
Just an hour left to go….hope you’ve enjoyed this week of posts written while driving home.  I’ve hit that point near Anderson where I lose my mind.  Oh home sweet home…..
TGIF and have a wonderful weekend, everyone!


  1. Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry this affected your vacation!!! This happens to us more than I'd like to admit. I tend to give the person trying to parent my children the stink eye and say this as politely as possible: "I'm sorry, we don't 'yell'(or insert whatever they did that I didn't approve of)at our children." Then focus on the child and ignore any reaction that they have. That normally works, even with family.

  2. I would have picked Aubrey up and left the room with nothing more than a glare. I don't care where you are, the only time you get off yelling at someone else's child is WHEN THE PARENT GIVES YOU the authority to do so. I so would have come unglued on that person.


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