Thursday, May 29, 2014

Decisions have consequences

On my way into work, as I was driving through the normal traffic trying to loosen up my stiff neck, I had the sudden urge to post this as my FB status:

Hate is a strong word but I really really don't like the drunk asshole who slammed into my car in 2004. I am sure he walked away just fine while I have to deal with chronic neck pain for the rest of my life. Asshole.

See, that's where the stiff neck comes from.  Back in my first year of law school, I was rear-ended as I sat at a stoplight by a drunk driver going about 55-60 mph.  As my car jerked forward, I had a sharp pain to my neck.  However, I walked away relatively fine.  I mean, no broken bones and I checked out okay in the ER.  And that neck pain didn't last but for a minute.  I settled with the insurance company for doctor bills and some amount of money for punitive damages.  However, it was not until I started working post-law school that my neck really started to hurt.  In fact, it's hurt every day of my life since then.  It's always a bit stiff.  At times it hurts more than other times, and I imagine sitting at a desk all the time does not help much. I've done physical therapy, and that did not help.  It's just there.  All the freaking time.

It pisses me off when I think about the guy who hit me.  The man was trashed.  They say when someone who is intoxicated is in an accident they do not really walk away injured because they are so  loosened up at impact.  I, on the other hand, saw his beat-up red truck coming and stiffened up, which didn't help a bit.  

Hate is a strong word, it really is.  As a Catholic I am taught to forgive, and I guess I forgave him.  But I really really don't like him.  It's not fair.  I'm not the drunk asshole who decided to have a few more before I drove home from my camping trip.  But yet, I get to live with my neck hurting all the time.  And it pisses me off.  

So is this self-pity?  Sure.  I'm not normally one of those people who goes around saying "feel sorry for me..." and I'm not writing this nor am I writing my FB post for pity.  I don't need pity.  But I do want to put a message out there.  This is what happens when you drive drunk.  I'm lucky I walked away that day.  Had he driven in a different direction, say hit me from the side or front, I'm pretty sure the result would have been different.  

I'm sure he's driven drunk again.  If I still had his name, I'd look him up in the court system.  But that wouldn't do me any good.  I just hope somehow he will not be allowed to do what he did to me to anyone else.  


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