I saw this picture the other day, not sure where...I think it was on someone's Facebook status or something, but I had to laugh because of how appropriate it is. It is dead on with my personality. And just things...things that have happened. See, here's the problem with Nain. If I'm going to give something my all, I give it my all. If I'm sticking by someone, it is 110 percent. The problem is that I give people or things way too much credit or think that everyone has the best interests of everyone at heart. It's probably just called naive. Honestly I am naive. Not as bad as I used to be, trust me, but I am.
I consider myself a fairly loyal person, as well. Someone asked me the other day if ever in a million years I would cheat on T. (No, this person was NOT trying to get me to do anything...it was girl talk) I looked at them like they were crazy. When I am in a relationship I am in that relationship. When I say I love you, I mean you and only you. My loyalty to T is about as strong as it comes. I'm like that with anything. Friends, family....job...
I'm loyal when it comes to where I work. Or at least I was up until what happened last year in December when I was blindsided. And, well....betrayed would be the word I would describe the way I felt treated. I love what I do. I love the cause, I am so passionate about it, it is why I went to law school - to help others. I gave my all and probably naively believed that was being noticed. So I took it hard when it came out of left field that things were being done that I was unaware of. I don't think I've cried that much in awhile. Hell, see the last few posts in 2013 and you'll see how well I handled that feeling. I was hurt. I thought being loyal was enough.
So tomorrow I'll be giving my 2 weeks notice. I start the new job on January 27. New job, new venture, new start. I'll be saying good bye to negativity that has been dragging me down for so long. It is kind of bittersweet, though, because I really think if other circumstances were different that this would have been my dream job. I feel so passionate about it. But it's not meant to be, and I have to put myself and my family first, loyalty be damned. Because at some point, you do reach that point where you don't care. I'm at that point. I just don't care. And I hate that because that isn't who I am. I want to care about what I do. And it hurts that I've been put in the position where I simply cannot.
So this month will bring new beginnings, and while I hate having to step out with my notice tomorrow, but I have to. I have to do what is best for my family, no matter what, and I will just consider a lesson learned, a lesson learned. And that is that.