The sick and the frustrated

So, after my previous post today describing my being sick and the lack of content from my doctor's office, I finally got a call around 3:00 p.m.  My doctor is out all week at a conference, and the on-call doctor wanted to have me see a nurse practitioner since I have been sick for over a week now.  So, I rushed to downtown Indy to get to my hospital before they closed at 4:00.  I made it, luckily.  Stressed out, but I made it. 

 

 

It wasn't a good appointment, let me just say that.  Since I saw staff members who have never seen me before nor have they ever read my file, it was much more stressful than it should have been.  I'm not sure that the nurse who did my vitals or the nurse practitioner who saw me realized I was high risk or even why.   I was concerned that the first nurse didn't even realize I was pregnant when she asked me what the last day of my missed period was.  I kind of just stared back and her, looked down at my stomach and went "umm...I don't remember.  A long time ago?"  There were several other statements/questions that happened like that, but they're of a pretty personal nature, but suffice it to say that it was one of those "here is your sign" kind of moments...despite the fact that I hate that kind of humor.  It was just too fitting. 

 

 

The nurse practitioner didn't make me feel much better.  She examined me, listened to my wheezing and coughing, didn't tell me much except that it was probably just viral.  But she kept saying that they couldn't have me sick with my surgery a week away.  No really helpful statements, just kept saying "this is bad..."  So she went and talked to the on-call doctor, I have no idea what they talked about, but they put me on an antibiotic.  Just to see if it works.  She did say it might not work and that it could be viral...and proceeded to tell me that if I wasn't well by next Wednesday, they might have to delay the surgery.  That's when I started to inwardly panic.  So I asked her about other medication I could take, like cough syrup since I've been hacking all night.  She said, sure, take some Robitussin and some Sudafed, too, to if I wanted.  Of course, I have high blood pressure, so I told her "no, I can't take that...I'm not allowed to take decongestants because of my blood pressure."  Her response?  "Well, it was low today!"  I kind of chuckled and said "yeah, it better be, I'm on three medications!"  She looked surprised like this was the first time she knew this...oh really?  Didn't read my chart?  Didn't realize I'm high risk because of a freaking heart condition?  And I have high blood pressure and that's why I see the doctor here every week?  You didn't notice that?  But you're telling me that I have to keep this child in me no matter what, if I'm sick, even if my c-section is scheduled for next week?  I asked her what if I can't get better before next week?  Her answer was to just be positive that this will work. 

 

 

So I walked away from that appointment, yes, with a prescription in hand, but my mind all over the place.  All I wanted to do was to talk to someone who actually read my chart, knew my medical history and could tell me realistically what was going to happen.  And the thought that I wouldn't get to see my baby because of some stupid cold that I didn't ask to get and have absolutely no control over just killed me.  And when I got to the car, I just lost it.   I feel like crap, can't breathe at all, just want to feel better, and I just want my baby to be fine and to meet her next week.  And I don't want anything in the world to prevent that. 

 

 

So I'm considering calling my doctor's regular nurse tomorrow and expressing my concern and seeing if that message can be passed along to my regular doctor.  I don't want to be that patient and be too pushy.  But I just need some reassurance that it's going to be okay. 

 

 

So for now, Nain and Half-pint are on wellness lock down.  Focus is on getting better at all costs.  Because we have just eight more days to go....