In my short life of 31 years, I've had my fair share of ups and downs. Sure, I've made reference to these before, but there have been tough times, good times, heart breaks and great love. People have always told me "there's a reason for everything," and honestly, when I used to hear that, I'd want to just tell them to shut up. Because really, usually the people saying that were the same people who seemed to have everything going for them. Of course, everything has a plan. I mean, everything has a plan when everything is rainbows and ponies and butterfliers in your world, right? Not when you feel like someone ripped out your heart and stomped on it before setting the whole damn thing on fire.
Ok, graphic....I digress...
But as I have grown older and learned more, tough lessons, good lessons, grown wiser, I've realized that this is entirely true. Everything happens for a reason.
Shortly after T and I became engaged, my sister made us a mixed CD. It was from this CD where we found our first dance song. Of course, this wasn't the song we picked, but I recall playing the CD on our way home from my parent's house after celebrating our engagement and this song came on. T and I weren't saying much at the time, just listening to the music and the words of the song. And I found tears forming in my eyes, out of nowhere. Because it's like this song was written just for me. It's like someone took a picture of my past and said "hey, let's make a song about this!" It hit so close to home.
I truly believe that like the song goes: every heart break was a star, guiding me home to T. If I hadn't gone through the life experiences I had, I would never have met T when I did. I wouldn't have been ready to be with him and have the kind of relationship we have had I not gone through other experiences. It was all part of God's master plan.
And I'm sure some people are like "whatever, this is total B.S." And yes, at one point in time I would totally agree with you.
But I think I had to go through all of those difficult times to truly appreciate what I have - true and unconditional love. At one point in time, yes, I thought my world was ending, that I would never love again. And I held such resentment in my heart for those who had hurt me.
But the amazing thing, as soon as I met T and fell in love, none of that hurt mattered. I forgave. I moved on, and I learned to appreciate everything I have been through, even those times that I look back on and think "Dear God, what was the point behind that?"
It's such a weight lifted to no longer carry that resentment. In a way, I would rather thank those before T because without them, I would never have been guided to the one who was meant for me.
This song still makes me cry. And today that's what I'm thankful for - the broken road that led me straight to you. I love you, T.
I'm linking this up to Gretchen's Spin Cycle as the thing I am most thankful for - T. Without him, my world just wouldn't be complete.