Wednesday, December 11, 2013


I came across an article the other day regarding a woman who had bravely bared her post-baby body in a way to show what is beautiful.  So many people, she said, only view thin, washboard abs, etc., as beauty.  However, like so many women out there, she said her stomach "smiled" at her.  You'd have to look at the picture to get what she said, but the extra skin and fat from her pregnancy makes a "smile" in a way.  I knew what she was talking about if you can't picture it but only because she's describing my body as well.  
The sad thing are the comments she received from her post.  Here are the ones she included:
“A lot of fat women use having given birth to children as an excuse…. that’s the reality.”
“How attractive, fat and stretch marks, cover that up, I just ate.”
“Sorry, I don’t like it. I don’t think it’s attractive or appropriate.”
“There is clearly a fat epidemic that there never used to be. It’s from lack of exercise except when lifting hand to mouth. Stop being PC and just say it how it is… no excuses.”
“Sorry but if your (sic) overweight you don’t have curves. That’s just excess fat hanging of your body.”
“Embracing Big Macs more like it.”
It is so easy for people to be so hateful when they are hidden behind the computer screen, isn't it?  Looking at the pictures of her, she is FAR from obese.  Seriously.  Something she posted in her response was a picture of her and her children hiking and another one of her in a sports bra showing her post-baby stomach.  They were both taken on the same day.  Same person, same day.  In the one of her hiking everyone commented how fit she looked.  But once they got a look at her stomach?  Obese!  Lazy!  Fat!
There are some women out there who are super lucky.  They are the ones who leave the hospital in the jeans they wore before pregnancy and many are able to get their abs back with exercise and diet.  However, one size does not fit all.  I am one of those women.  After Aubrey was born, I was what I considered overweight.  I know I was.  I was overweight before I had her.  It showed in my blood pressure.  I needed help in dealing with it so I did seek medical assistance with a doctor and dietitian and managed to lose 30 pounds.  My blood pressure is the lowest it has ever been, ever.  I run 5ks and mini-marathons.  At my last appointment with my doctor, she congratulated me on reaching my ideal weight and healthy BMI.  I wear a size I haven't worn since high school.  BUT....I have that stomach.  I have those stretch marks.  I have that scar and the sagging skin and fat around it.  I complained the doctor about that, she smiled at me and said you can do ab work for that, but it doesn't make you unhealthy.  You had a child.  You're a mom.
So when I see that picture that this woman took in the mirror, I see myself.  I hate looking at that part of my body.  I know that's wrong, but I am one of those women who thinks "ugh, I'm fat."  And these people, these hateful comments are the reason why women like me feel like that.  Because we hear it out there, we see it.  
For God's sake, she had a child.  The things that women's bodies go through during and after a pregnancy - your body does not always just bounce back if ever.  My hips will never go back to where they were before I carried Aubrey and honestly, it's not likely my stomach will.  It just isn't.  But that doesn't make my body any less beautiful.  And I feel weird even just typing those words because I don't think my body is beautiful.  

But isn't that the problem?  And these people aren't making it better.  


  1. That is sad. Your body is beautiful, you need to re-train your brain to see it that way! You owe that to yourself and to your daughter. She will learn her own self image from the example you set for her by the way you see yourself. I know you are very busy but you should check out a show called "How to Look Good Naked" you can see it on Hulu for free anytime. It's pretty interesting, they show how our own perception is so off on our own body compared to how others actually see us. They also teach you to see the beautiful things about our bodies and not focus on the things we may not like. Love your body! It's served you well and you are taking great care of it! xoxo

  2. People are hateful, and ignorant, and ultimately completely unsatisfied with something in their own lives if they get such a perverse pleasure out of tearing others down. It makes me incredibly sad, mostly because I would take that stomach in a heartbeat if it would mean I could have carried my little girl for the 9 months she was with someone else. I hate that as a society, we try to demoralize those war wounds. And I hate that you have to hate this part of yourself that was so gloriously earned. It just makes me sad that women can't just... be. Instead, they have to "be thin" "be fit" "be perfect". It's too much, and no one can meet those standards all of the time.


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