Okay, so maybe the title of this post is just a bit on the dramatic side. But that is how I feel at this current point in time. Freaked. Out. (I credit a majority of this to pregnancy hormones...but some also to just stress and well, me being me.)
Reason? Well, I looked at the calendar today and realized that December is in just a few days. And that has me in a full panic. Let me explain....
Christmas shopping? What Christmas shopping? Cards to send out? Really? Usually I'm on my "A" game, and by now I've bought pretty much every one's presents and have addressed and sent out my Christmas cards. I'm productive like that. But this year, I just don't have the energy. I blame the third trimester for that. But still. I don't want to be that girl who is rushing at the last minute. So I need to do it in my spare time. What spare time? In between work and the millions of doctors visits baby and I need right now, there is no spare time. Just those hours when I get to sleep. But I need to get on it. Thus, part of the freak out.
And, wait, it's December? I got this email today from TheBump.com reminding me that I'm 28 weeks today. Dude, that's not that much longer until the little one arrives. I mean, sure we're due on February 22nd, but with my size and my heart condition, part of me does have that fear that we will have her earlier than mid-February. And well, I didn't plan for that. I have work things to do up until the very day I give birth, dammit. So I'm scrambling to plan ahead and write detailed directions for my staff for when I leave on every grant I write and report on, basically everything I do. And that's a lot. And I'm also a bit of a control freak, so I have a hard time letting go of my pet projects. So yeah, I need to start building up some contingency plans here. Because Half-pint will come when 1) she wants to and/or 2) when the doctors say I have no choice. How in the world am I going to get all of this ready? Am I ever really going to be fully "ready?"
And getting ready for Half-pint's arrival...we have two showers coming up, and I've taken to checking our registry daily to see what is still needed. While we're pretty good on the furniture...not so much on the other stuff. I know most people, when they purchase presents for a baby, buy the cute outfits, the frilly girl stuff...which is all great and good. Trust me, I love that stuff, too. But...not exactly what T and I need. It sounds completely awful of me to say that because I always appreciate anything someone would give us. I'm just totally freaked that we won't get the basics we need and won't be able to afford them beforehand. Rational? Probably not. But you're talking to the planner here. The girl who has everything set and ready to go way before it's due.
And I've taken to hating sites like TheBump.com or (insert your appropriate pregnancy site here). They have these little checklists on everything you're supposed to have done at a certain point. No clue who these people are that think I should have x, y and z done at this point, but they can just shove it. My current concern is getting a pediatrician lined up. But there are all of these stupid other things that I haven't thought of or aren't sure they are important. Dear lord, I'm failing as a mom, and I'm not even there yet.
So I need to do several things here...1) invent some sort of time device to create more time in a given day, 2) win the lottery so that T and I can buy everything we need for Half-pint, 3) pay for a personal assistant who can help me with all of these tasks, or 4) invent some sort of cloning device so that one of me can be at all the doctor's appointments, another can be out shopping and preparing for baby and the third can be at work lining everything up. Oh, and maybe a fourth to spend time with family and friends and T so that I don't lose any relationships in the time being.
Think they have Cyber Monday deals on something like that?
Christmas shopping? What Christmas shopping? Cards to send out? Really? Usually I'm on my "A" game, and by now I've bought pretty much every one's presents and have addressed and sent out my Christmas cards. I'm productive like that. But this year, I just don't have the energy. I blame the third trimester for that. But still. I don't want to be that girl who is rushing at the last minute. So I need to do it in my spare time. What spare time? In between work and the millions of doctors visits baby and I need right now, there is no spare time. Just those hours when I get to sleep. But I need to get on it. Thus, part of the freak out.
And, wait, it's December? I got this email today from TheBump.com reminding me that I'm 28 weeks today. Dude, that's not that much longer until the little one arrives. I mean, sure we're due on February 22nd, but with my size and my heart condition, part of me does have that fear that we will have her earlier than mid-February. And well, I didn't plan for that. I have work things to do up until the very day I give birth, dammit. So I'm scrambling to plan ahead and write detailed directions for my staff for when I leave on every grant I write and report on, basically everything I do. And that's a lot. And I'm also a bit of a control freak, so I have a hard time letting go of my pet projects. So yeah, I need to start building up some contingency plans here. Because Half-pint will come when 1) she wants to and/or 2) when the doctors say I have no choice. How in the world am I going to get all of this ready? Am I ever really going to be fully "ready?"
And getting ready for Half-pint's arrival...we have two showers coming up, and I've taken to checking our registry daily to see what is still needed. While we're pretty good on the furniture...not so much on the other stuff. I know most people, when they purchase presents for a baby, buy the cute outfits, the frilly girl stuff...which is all great and good. Trust me, I love that stuff, too. But...not exactly what T and I need. It sounds completely awful of me to say that because I always appreciate anything someone would give us. I'm just totally freaked that we won't get the basics we need and won't be able to afford them beforehand. Rational? Probably not. But you're talking to the planner here. The girl who has everything set and ready to go way before it's due.
And I've taken to hating sites like TheBump.com or (insert your appropriate pregnancy site here). They have these little checklists on everything you're supposed to have done at a certain point. No clue who these people are that think I should have x, y and z done at this point, but they can just shove it. My current concern is getting a pediatrician lined up. But there are all of these stupid other things that I haven't thought of or aren't sure they are important. Dear lord, I'm failing as a mom, and I'm not even there yet.
So I need to do several things here...1) invent some sort of time device to create more time in a given day, 2) win the lottery so that T and I can buy everything we need for Half-pint, 3) pay for a personal assistant who can help me with all of these tasks, or 4) invent some sort of cloning device so that one of me can be at all the doctor's appointments, another can be out shopping and preparing for baby and the third can be at work lining everything up. Oh, and maybe a fourth to spend time with family and friends and T so that I don't lose any relationships in the time being.
Think they have Cyber Monday deals on something like that?
Reality check:
ReplyDeleteNo one ever, EVER checks off all the items on those stupid baby sites. Those sites were invented for those people who are a little too fly by the seat of my pants whatdoyamean I need diapers this kid actually poops? kind and for the up to the minute, uber-focused I must have every little tangent checked off including pre-labor pedicure mama to be.
Let that list go.
As long as you have the furniture you NEED, some clothes, a few warm hats and cover ups considering where you live, and some blankets, oh, yeah, and diapers and burp cloths, you are good to go. Pacifiers? The hospital will supply you one. (And bill your insurance. So "lose" one right away and get it replaced. Voila, you now have two.) And those diapers on supply at the hospital? You're already being billed for them. Take them with you. The nose bulb? Once you use it, it's yours. You'll probably get a free diaper bag from your baby training class, but honestly? A backpack is FINE. You'd be surprised how little you DON'T need. Once she's born, you'll be picking up odds and ends anyway, and once she outgrows that stage, you'll wonder how you came to amass so much crap. :-)
Rooting for you!
Hahaha on your last line. If you missed a Christmas card this year, I would forgive you. :-) (But not next year because that one might involve a cute picture.) ;-) You will be fine though. :-) And if you and T ever run out of money, you can always call me. :-) I do not have enough cute kids and pets in my life to buy things for. :-)
ReplyDeleteBreathe, dear. I personally hate when people tell me everything will work out, so instead I'll say: If cards don't get done on time, every i isn't dotted and t crossed, screw it. If people don't like your timing, screw them. You've got far more important things like baby growing to worry about.
ReplyDeleteI get the feeling you're a pretty smart cookie, I have complete confidence that you'll be able to handle any and everything that comes your way. And if not? There's always chocolate to eat and us readers to console you. Good luck!!
All baby really needs is a mom and day who love one another and show her tons of attention, love, some food and affection - all the things we as humans love and need to survive. Everything else....doesn't really matter. It'll all work out.
ReplyDelete