Before Aubrey made her arrival in our world, I got a lot of advice. And words of warning. And it got old. So I wrote a post about it, of course, asking if it really is that bad having a new baby. So I decided to go through those questions and see if those negative Nancy's were right. So...were they? Here are the fun little things I was told before baby...
"You think you're tired now? Just wait, you won't sleep forever..."
Yes, I'm tired. Beyond tired. I would give my right hand to get at least six straight hours of sleep. But, I don't think it'll be forever...no matter how long it may seems. I do hold out hope that someday...just someday...I'll sleep again. So help me, God.
"You think T's going to help you out with that baby? Be prepared for that NOT to happen..."
Yes, I'm tired. Beyond tired. I would give my right hand to get at least six straight hours of sleep. But, I don't think it'll be forever...no matter how long it may seems. I do hold out hope that someday...just someday...I'll sleep again. So help me, God.
"You think T's going to help you out with that baby? Be prepared for that NOT to happen..."
Umm....NO. Nope. Not at all. T has been nothing if not an amazing father. I couldn't get out of bed or move at all those first few days in the hospital, and who was the person who did everything for Aubrey? That would be her father. Without complaining or anything. Granted, he complains now when she's crying at 2 a.m., but so do I. But we alternate who gets up to feed her. He helps with her daily baths, we alternate nights on who puts her to bed, and he loves spending time just Daddy and Aubrey. So the person who told me that couldn't be more wrong.
"Be prepared for your relationship to suffer..." (YES, I have heard that one, believe it or not)
"Be prepared for your relationship to suffer..." (YES, I have heard that one, believe it or not)
Well...I'm not going to lie to you all and say that it's been rainbows and ponies this entire time. We're going on no sleep here, a huge change in our life, and a great deal of stress. So yeah, we have our days. But we have grown stronger as a team. And being new parents and having a family, something has shifted. It's become more about us, our family, when we make decisions or plans. We have grown stronger in that respect, too. So I wouldn't say our relationship has suffered. It may have been tested, but we're coming out winning.
"You may as well give up on the idea of showering..."
Nope. I had to at least shower on a daily basis. Yeah, Aubrey would often cry in her pack and play while I did it, but I needed to at least shower. It killed me to not be able to shave
"Wearing makeup? Not going to happen."
Well, while I don't wear makeup every day, like when we're working around the house, and during my maternity leave, there would be days where my hair would immediately go up in a pony tail after washing it, I always did my makeup. I mean, I am a Mary Kay Beauty Consultant. Of course, I wear my makeup! You're talking to the girl who put foundation on before surgery. And I kept up my skin care routine for the most part - microdermabrasion and wearing my even complexion mask. I made time for it, what can I say?
"You won't want to exercise at all..."
"You may as well give up on the idea of showering..."
Nope. I had to at least shower on a daily basis. Yeah, Aubrey would often cry in her pack and play while I did it, but I needed to at least shower. It killed me to not be able to shave
"Wearing makeup? Not going to happen."
Well, while I don't wear makeup every day, like when we're working around the house, and during my maternity leave, there would be days where my hair would immediately go up in a pony tail after washing it, I always did my makeup. I mean, I am a Mary Kay Beauty Consultant. Of course, I wear my makeup! You're talking to the girl who put foundation on before surgery. And I kept up my skin care routine for the most part - microdermabrasion and wearing my even complexion mask. I made time for it, what can I say?
"You won't want to exercise at all..."
Not true. I was itching to start exercising right away. I hate sitting around, and recovering from surgery forced me to do that. I pushed myself a bit too hard at first to move around the house but as soon as the doctor said I could, I got back to my walking. It started off slowly but I'm back to working out regularly. In fact, T and I alternate who works out in the mornings before work and who does so in the evenings. It's something important to me, is my stress reliever, so...I make time for it.
Glad to see you got through the hump. Most new moms freak out if they DON'T run into the stressors and think they did something wrong. :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you posted this! When my girl was a baby I didn't have the outlet to tell the nay-sayers they were wrong. Or admit publicly that somethings said to me were right. I wanted so much to go up to people and say, "Look, Bill is holding her, and she isn't screaming! Oh and look, my hair is washed and styled and I have on make-up!" I didn't but I sure did want to.
ReplyDeleteWhat you accept you teach, from you having Alaina time, to T having daddy and Aubrey time. She is learning right now. If you put aside your needs she will learn that you don't matter, I'm not saying you don't matter, I am saying that is the lesson she will learn.
That is not to say that there won't be days when a shower is impossible, or that self-time just doesn't happen, because her needs will overwhelm the day sometimes. But on the day to day, she learns to entertain herself, she learns that you are nearby, and that you are dependable. Her sense of security doesn't come because you lose yourself in her, her sense of security comes because she sees your example of life. From day one.
It sounds like you've got a good hold on this thing. Don't be afraid to reach out for help and advice. But you sound like you're doing great!
♥
Lily-Thinking Thoughts