Spin Cycle: Cookie Deliciousness

 

For this week's Spin Cycle brought to you by Gretchen at Second Blooming, I am recylcing a post that I wrote back in 2010.  She has asked that we share our favorite cookie recipes in the spirit of the holidays.  Now, I'm not much of a baker.  If I "make" cookies it usually involves those premade, pre-cut ones you get at the grocery store.  Occasionally I'll get the bug and make a pie or something like that.  But each Thanksgiving and Christmas I do make a habit to make these cookies - Pumpkin chocolate chip.

 

 

When I first heard the name of these cookies I thought it would be disgusting, but trust me, these are delicious.  They have a cake-like consistency, and they are always a hit at holiday parties.  So here's the recipe:

 

 

Needed ingredients:

2 cups sugar

1 cup of softened butter

15 oz can of pumpkin puree

2 tsp of vanilla

4 cups of flour

2 tsp baking soda

2 tsp cinnamon

12 oz semisweet chocolate chips

What you need to do:

Preheat oven to 375

Mix sugar, butter, pumpkin and vanilla together in large bowl

In a separate bowl, mix the flour, baking soda and cinnamon together

Stir in the flour mixture into the creamed mixture

Stir in the chocolate chips

Drop by tsp onto a non-greased baking sheet

Bake 12-15 minutes

Enjoy! (after they cool, of course, but they are pretty tasty when warm)

 

 

Back in 2010 I ended up making a TON of these, and actually last year I made so many I had to freeze a bag of them.  And even thawed a year later they were still delicious.  I made fresh ones for T's family at Thanksgiving, though.  So here's the picture of the final product I took back in 2010:

 

 

 

So there you have it - my one holiday cookie recipe! 

 

 

Stop by and say hi to Gretchen and see what other delicious cookie recipes bloggers have to share! 

Leaving on a jet plane

 

I have been dreading today for a while.   Today I’m leaving on a jet plane for a work trip to Washington, D.C.  I’ll be away from T and Aubrey for three whole nights, leaving this morning and returning on Saturday late afternoon.  While normally I’d be excited to visit our nation’s capital, and in the past, this would be my idea of a dream location for a work trip.  But…leaving Aubrey and T?  It makes me want to throw myself on the ground kicking “I don’t wanna go! I don’t wanna go!”  But, I have to do it. 

People keep saying I should enjoy the time just to myself, and I do plan on visiting a few people – my cousin and a dear friend of mine from law school – while in D.C., I will miss kissing those cute little cheeks and getting Aubrey kisses.  And I’ll miss lying next to Tat night and giving him a kiss before we fall asleep. 

I also feel really badly about leaving T to fend for himself with Aubrey for those three nights.  Sure, three of the four days she will be at daycare, but still…with the teething and us weaning her off of her pacifier compounded with separation anxiety, she can be quite the handful.  I’m sure by the time Saturday evening rolls around he’ll want to be like “here!” handing her over to me so he can get some peaceful moments to himself. 

But I have to think positive.  I’ll be learning a lot over these next few days at this conference, and I’ll be getting to catch up with old friends and see the city.  And I feel incredibly selfish for saying this, but I will be baby free at night for three nights.  I’ll miss her so much, but I should probably take advantage of that.  Now will I actually do this?  I’ll let you all take bets on that. 

I’ll be writing posts for Thursday and Friday ahead of time, so it’ll be like I never left at all! J

   

Saving the money

I have discovered a new way to save a ton of money and get Aubrey new and cute stuff.  Yeah, yeah, it’s not like I’m the only woman who has ever done this but this past weekend, I have discovered the beauty of secondhand shops. 

 

T’s parent’s town has a number of pretty great consignment shops, and T’s Mom took me to a couple of them on Black Friday.  See, instead of chasing down the deals at Target or Wal-Mart, I chose to hit the consignment shops.  Considering how quickly Aubrey is growing, now well into 18 month clothes, it almost isn’t worth it to buy new clothes for her.  We do buy new outfits, yes, but it’s hard to keep up.  The daycare needs three outfits for when she has “accidents,” and keeping up with all of that laundry isn’t always easy.  And we needed a winter coat for the Aubster and a snow suit for when she gets to play in her first snow.   And dude!  It’s amazing what I found.  Granted, you have to really dig around, but I got her two winter coats, her Christmas Eve dress (basically in brand new condition), two PJ’s for Christmas and Christmas Eve, a snow suit, and a whole number of shirts and outfits.  Plus, we got a whole bunch of toys for her, as well.  T’s Mom is a super cleaner so she cleaned the heck out of the toys and outfits.  And we seriously dug around to get stuff that looked as good as new and some still with the tags on them.  So I walked away pretty stoked with my haul.  I’m thinking I need to locate a few stores like these in our town.   

 

And yeah, yeah…I’m sure I’m not the first woman in the history of mankind who has discovered consignment stores, but I’m pretty excited.  Gotta love saving money! 

     

Motivation Monday

 

 

Welcome back and happy motivation Monday, folks!  So I had a completely different blog post written when I first composed a post on Friday night over break.   It was all about how I had eaten badly and how my motivation was to get back on track.  Yeah, that was until about one hour later when I was struck with the stomach flu.  T and I spent the night hugging the toilet and laying in the fetal position in bed not getting any sleep at all and cursing our daughter who we think had a small bug on Thanksgiving and gave us a full blown puke fest the following day.  Thanks, Aubrey!

 

So we spent the entire day on Saturday lying around at T’s parent’s house watching football and barely drinking and not eating anything.  So my concern about any extra starch or alcohol adding pounds onto me just went away. 

 

But that isn’t to say I don’t have motivation this week.  Before being hit by the plague, I did go for a run with T’s Dad.  I was all gung ho to do it again on Saturday, and I think in my delirium I actually said to T “I’ll still be able to run in the morning” shortly after getting sick.  Yes, I am just that determined.

 

This week I am going on a work trip.  I don’t want to go on this work trip, but it’s mandatory.  One of the things I hate about conferences like these is you have to eat what they give you basically, which is hotel/conference food.  And you’re pretty much sedentary the entire day.  So I will make sure to get up early each day I’m there and take advantage of the gym facilities and try my best to eat the best I can, considering the circumstances.    Oh and not get the stomach flu again.  Because I can’t explain how much that truly sucked.  Not getting to enjoy a nice brew while watching Rivalry Weekend football?  Blasphemy, I tell you. 

 

So that’s my motivation for the week – what’s yours?  Join in on the motivating fun by writing a post of your own, linking up to this blog and leaving a link to your own in the comments.  Let’s get motivated! 

 

And let’s get motivated, Nain, to get through 3.5 days away from my Aubster….

   

Happy Thanksgiving!

From Nain, T, and Aubrey, we'd like to wish you all a very happy and relaxing Thanksgiving holiday!  We will be spending the weekend with family up in Michigan, relaxing and no, not going to the Black Friday madness.  Those of you who will - Godspeed and don't do anything illegal.  Because, no, I will not be your attorney.  :-)

 

 

 

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!!!

 

   

Thankful for the broken road

In my short life of 31 years, I've had my fair share of ups and downs.  Sure, I've made reference to these before, but there have been tough times, good times, heart breaks and great love.   People have always told me "there's a reason for everything," and honestly, when I used to hear that, I'd want to just tell them to shut up.  Because really, usually the people saying that were the same people who seemed to have everything going for them.  Of course, everything has a plan.  I mean, everything has a plan when everything is rainbows and ponies and butterfliers in your world, right?  Not when you feel like someone ripped out your heart and stomped on it before setting the whole damn thing on fire. 


Ok, graphic....I digress...



But as I have grown older and learned more, tough lessons, good lessons, grown wiser, I've realized that this is entirely true.  Everything happens for a reason. 



Shortly after T and I became engaged, my sister made us a mixed CD.  It was from this CD where we found our first dance song.  Of course, this wasn't the song we picked, but I recall playing the CD on our way home from my parent's house after celebrating our engagement and this song came on.  T and I weren't saying much at the time, just listening to the music and the words of the song.  And I found tears forming in my eyes, out of nowhere.   Because it's like this song was written just for me.  It's like someone took a picture of my past and said "hey, let's make a song about this!"  It hit so close to home. 


 I truly believe that like the song goes:  every heart break was a star, guiding me home to T.  If I hadn't gone through the life experiences I had, I would never have met T when I did.  I wouldn't have been ready to be with him and have the kind of relationship we have had I not gone through other experiences.  It was all part of God's master plan.


And I'm sure some people are like "whatever, this is total B.S."  And yes, at one point in time I would totally agree with you. 



But I think I had to go through all of those difficult times to truly appreciate what I have - true and unconditional love.  At one point in time, yes, I thought my world was ending, that I would never love again.  And I held such resentment in my heart for those who had hurt me. 



But the amazing thing, as soon as I met T and fell in love, none of that hurt mattered.  I forgave.  I moved on, and I learned to appreciate everything I have been through, even those times that I look back on and think "Dear God, what was the point behind that?"



It's such a weight lifted to no longer carry that resentment.  In a way, I would rather thank those before T because without them, I would never have been guided to the one who was meant for me. 



This song still makes me cry.  And today that's what I'm thankful for - the broken road that led me straight to you.  I love you, T.








I'm linking this up to Gretchen's Spin Cycle as the thing I am most thankful for - T.  Without him, my world just wouldn't be complete.


       

Christmas in the Nain and T Household

Today I am thankful for the holiday season and the traditions it brings.  Each year, T and I take an evening to decorate, listen to some Christmas tunes (the classics, mind you, none of that stupid pop crap), and we enjoy some mulled wine.  Last year, it was warm apple cider, but this year I got to enjoy the wine again.  It was delicious.

 

 

I love the holiday season.  I love decorating for Christmas, and I love getting ornaments out to put on the tree, each one bringing a memory from the past.  We tried fruitlessly to decorate before we put Aubrey to bed, but the teething child wouldn't have it.  So we waited, but honestly, that was probably for the best.  Sorry these pictures pretty much suck.  I guess that's what I get for taking pictures at night with a cell phone, right?  But here is our tree: 

 

 

The stockings are hung by the chimney with care....

 

 

Each year, since we started dating, we get a special ornament representing the year.  This started with me buying T one about six months into dating.  The next year, we had a "Just engaged" ornament, then one celebrating our first Christmas as a married couple, and last year in our new home.  This year, of course, it was our family.  I love this ornament....

 

T's Mom also buys a name ball for every member of the family, so we have ours hung together,,,

And lastly, since we drove people crazy with not telling the name of the baby and only called her Half-pint, we got two ornaments that say Half-pint.  We hung those next to her first Christmas one with her real name on it. 

 

It looks pretty nice, if I do say so myself.  Of course, our new Beleek china Nativity Set has had to go up high, and I'm sure in the upcoming years, we won't be putting that out.  And all of the ornaments within Aubrey grabbing reach are soft.  And no poinsettias for the fireplace this year.

 

 

We were SO excited to show Aubrey the tree and to see her reaction.  She's always so curious with everything around her, so T and I got her up Sunday and took her downstairs together.  I turned on the tree, expecting a look of excitement and wonder.  What we got was this:

 

 Image courtesy of Google Images

I mean, not quite that disappointed, but not impressed for sure.  In fact, she was more interested in the two bottles of water I had carried downstairs with me and was trying to grab those rather than look at the tree.  Ah, children.  Maybe later she'll get excited.  Or in future years when Christmas starts to mean a little more to her.  But regardless, T and I are super excited to have Aubrey's first Christmas.


So I'm thankful today for holiday traditions and for decorating for Christmas.  Sure, it's not even Thanksgiving yet, but since we will be out of town for the holidays and then I have a work trip the next week, it was our only opportunity.  We've decided NOT to turn on the outside lights until after Thanksgiving, of course! 

Motivation Monday: Thanksgiving edition

Happy Motivation Monday everyone, and happy short week!  Definitely stoked for that.  We can use a break for sure.  This last weekend was a tough one, not really much of a break.  I took Aubrey in for her 9 month visit on Friday and left with medication for an ear infection.  And teething.  And we're weaning her off the pacifier.  So yeah...this was a fun weekend for Mommy and Daddy.  Exhausted, I tell you, exhausted!


I did manage to run once this weekend.  So that was good, and I plan on working out most days this week including Thanksgiving morning.  I have to get my workout in so I can eat!  I did slack off on one day this weekend.  We had our tradition of decorating for Christmas and drinking mulled wine.  And I'm pretty sure mulled wine isn't in the diet or at least as much as I had.  But...oh well...


Something that is keeping me motivated is clothing.  I'm in this stage right now where my old outfits don't fit me, but there are some that still are a wee bit too snug.  I had a Mary Kay event on Saturday, though, and I had to wear a dress for that.  So I braved the closet and tried on several dresses I haven't worn in forever, and they fit!  That in and of itself is huge motivation.  So I got to wear a few of them that have been just hanging there forever.  And I have this red and black one that is from my smaller days, but it's super cute and it almost fits perfectly.  So it's my goal to have that dress fitting by Christmas to wear it at Christmas Eve mass.  I will get there! 



I have to admit, I am nervous about slacking off around the holidays so it'll be my motivation to not let that one day carry over into several.  Keeping track of my food records and doing the one thing I am awful at, drinking water, will be a priority.  But it is Thanksgiving, after all, so I will allow myself that one day....at least in reasonable limits!


Today I am thankful for the fact that my dresses fit again - hooray!


Hope you all had a good weekend and enjoy the short work week!

Spin Cycle: Disaster

This week's Spin Cycle brought to you by Gretchen at Second Blooming is on disasters.  Being from Indiana, mainly the South side area, this specific topic couldn't be any more relevant.  I'm not sure if most of you have heard this on the national news but unfortunately Indy has been in the news lately for an awful disaster that occurred on Saturday night. 

 

 

I don't want to give too many details because God knows I won't get something correct, but there was an awful explosion in a South side neighborhood.  They still don't know what caused the explosion but it occurred in a neighborhood not too far from us.  The house where the explosion occurred and surrounding homes were completely obliterated.  The family whose home was the cause of the explosion were not home but their neighbors next door, a young teacher and her husband were killed in the explosion.  I think they said somewhere around 26 homes were damaged.  People were woken up and told they needed to grab their immediate belongings and leave their homes.  So many of these people have not been allowed to return home and are probably not likely to ever be able to come home because of the damage done. 

 

 

They say that the blast could be felt and heard from miles away.  T and I honestly didn't hear or feel it, but friends of ours who lived south of where we are felt the vibrations from the blast.  This neighborhood is just a few miles north from where we live.  My heart just goes out to the families.  No explanation exist for why this happened.  It's so sad to think that it was just a routine night, these people went to bed like normal, only for their lives to be changed forever.  Or, God forbid, the two victims who lost their lives.  I pray that they died instantaneously from the blast.  I'd hate to think that they suffered.  It's just not right. 

 

 

Please pray for those affected.  I heard on the radio the other day that the Red Cross has asked that people not donate at this time, as they have more than enough to go through.  But the tough thing is finding a home for those who have been kicked out of their own.

 

 

I always feel bad saying things like this, but given how close to home this was, I am grateful for our safety.  And I am thankful that more were not injured.  And I'm thankful for the amazing reaction of our community reaching out to those affected. 

 

 

So stop by Gretchen's blog today and read the other stories people have to share.  Have a safe and wonderful weekend, everyone!

     

My big girl and my guardian angel

I'm conflicted today on my thankful post.  Today marks one year from my Grandpa's passing.  He passed away around mid-morning on November 15th.  Ironically, someone very special was brought into my life 9 months ago on this day, at 11:41 a.m.  My big girl...

 

 

One thing is sad, the other is a joyous and beautiful event.  Something Gretchen said in her comments to my blog in honor of my Grandpa really struck a chord with me.  She said maybe my Grandpa had to pass away before Aubrey was born was meant to be, that another angel needed to be up there watching over us as we had our surgery.  It was such a risky pregnancy, and so much was on the line.  I have always believed in guardian angels.  I believe that both of my grandmothers have always been watching over me.  And I agree with Gretchen - I think Grandpa was watching over me and Aubrey as she came into the world.

 

 

I'll never forget that moment I heard her cry and I burst into tears of joy and relief.  She was okay.  She was here.  I'll never forget that moment when T brought her to me, and I touched her little hands and felt her cheeks.  I'll never forget this moment:

 

 

And here we are, nine months later, and she's such a big girl.  I can't believe how much she has changed, and I am just so in love with the little girl she is:

 

So today, I am thankful for my big girl and for the love of my Grandpa who I know was watching over me that morning.  I miss him every day, but I know he is looking down on us and he and my Grandma are smiling. 

 

 

God bless you, Grandpa, and God bless you, my little angel, Aubrey.

       

Team effort

I've heard it said before, but parenting is a team effort.  Not just a mom and dad team, but team as in an entire family team effort - family, friends, what have you.   T and I try our best.  We each do our own things differently, some the same.  All that matters is the end goal - a healthy and happy Aubrey.

 

 

So today I am grateful for my team partner.  I don't know what I would do without him.  He's an amazing father to Aubrey.  He's there to pick up the slack when I'm having a rough day, he's there to be the voice of reason, he's there to make me laugh when things seem so completely overwhelming.  He's held my hand and said everything is going to be alright the two times we have had to take Aubrey to the emergency room.  He knows Aubrey's favorite toys, her favorite books.  He knows just what to do to make Aubrey laugh.  He knows how to comfort her when she's sad.  He's just a wonderful father.

 

 

We rotate who puts Aubrey to bed, who feeds her, who gets her up in the morning and dresses her.  Sure, we each do our own thing and he doesn't always do things the way Mommy loves.  But he gets it done.  Case in point...last week I worked out while T got Aubrey ready.  I was in the shower by the time he dressed her, so when I got out of the shower, there she was, all smiles on the floor with her toys.  In the most interesting outfit I've seen her in to date.  Oh T.  Here she was in a long sleeved gray and white onesie, bright blue and green floral pants, a completely different colored monkey bib, and magenta and pink polka dot socks. 

 

 

She is a fashion pioneer.

 

 

And I couldn't be any luckier that I have an amazing man who is such a wonderful dad.  Even if he doesn't know how to outfit coordinate :-)

 

 

 

Sorry, I didn't take pictures.  Sadly, I don't believe that shirt lasted the day with spit-up and all.  But trust me, it was quite the look!

 

 

 

Aubrey is a fashion pioneer, I tell you!

     

The little things

I've been coming up with bigger things each day for which to be thankful, but today...I'm thankful for those little things.  Because truly the little things make up the big things in the end.  And I'm grateful for each and every one of them.

 

 

The kiss I get from T each night before we fall asleep.

 

 

Tip-toeing into Aubrey's room before we go to bed at night to check on her and watching her sleeping so peacefully.  Kissing her on the forehead and telling her I love her. 

 

 

The smile on Aubrey's face when we pick her up from daycare and she first realizes we are there to pick her up. 

 

 

Getting a nice email from a friend.  Or a letter, which is even better!

 

 

That moment when a gloriously awful 80s song comes on the radio and you sing to it, word for word, at the top of my lungs.  (St. Elmo's Fire happens to be my song of choice.)

 

 

Getting into bed at night and snuggling up in the sheets  and comforter.

 

 

Sitting by a fire with a cup of hot chocolate (or wine, depending on the day).

 

 

That feeling of relief you get knowing that a vacation is coming up because God knows you can use a few days off. 

 

 

Realizing the show you love but probably shouldn't love, like Breaking Amish or Hoarding is on. 

 

 

See, it's these little things.  Sure, some of them are nowhere as near as important as the others.   And none of these are mentioned in any particular order.  But today, as I do any day, I am grateful for these little things and the people who help make them so special. 


And Christine...this is for you :-)


 

 

Motivation Monday!

Wait, it's not the weekend anymore?  Seriously?  The only thing that is keeping me going right now is knowing that in a week and a half I'll have some time off.  And I could sooo use some time off in a major way.  Until then, it's Motivation Monday!


So my motivation?  To focus on my triggers.  Part of the program I'm doing is to talk to a counselor to discuss triggers and reason for eating too much and not healthy.  It's a way to work on how, once the program is over, I can keep it up and maintain my ideal weight.  That is a fear of mine because I don't want to work this hard only to put the pounds back on.  So I'm very interested in recognizing those things. 


I have the worst sweet tooth ever.  I love candy, I love dessert.  I can still have that in moderation, but I have to figure out why I'm craving it all the time.  I find that, when I'm done with a meal, I automatically crave something sweet.  It's like I need some type of dessert.  Do I really need it?  No.  Do I feel like I need it?  Yes.  And once I get that thought in my head, it kind of takes over.  So I've tried other alternatives like sugar free jell-o or maybe a thing of Chocolate Silk.  However, some days I just want a freaking hot fudge sundae. 


That and stress.  And being sedentary.  It's so easy at work to reach for a candy bar when I'm just sitting there doing work.  So I need to get over that mental temptation.  So much easier said than done, right? 


Stupid Halloween candy and the holidays, too.  It sure doesn't help when it's so readily available.  Must...resist...temptation...


And yes, I will be taking the day off on Thanksgiving.  Well, I'm getting up in the morning to run that day but I'll be eating what I want that day.  Because it'll be Thanksgiving, dammit!


So that's my motivation for the week!  What about you?


Today I'm thankful for all of the help I've been getting from St. Francis.  Getting this kind of full-round support has just been amazing.  Very grateful girl here!

Finishers

This past weekend, T and my brother ran the Monumental Mini Marathon on Saturday.   Well, if you recall, T was actually training for the full marathon.  He had been training since June, and the longest training run he had gotten himself up to was 18  miles.   It was shortly after then that he started having pain in his lower leg, around his shins.  He ran the Wine at the Line race a week later and got a personal best, but then the pain got worse.  He attempted the 3 1/2 hour long training run, but only made it 7 miles before the pain was too much. 

 

 

We were worried he gave himself a stress fracture, so he went to the doctor, got an MRI done, and thankfully, there was no stress fracture.  And of course, the doctor told him not to do the race.  It was two weeks away from when he went to the doctor, and he was struggling with the decision on what to do.  He had trained so hard, and he so wanted to cross this off his bucket list.  But if he ran the 26.2 miles, he could injure himself to the point where he could be forced to give up running. 

 

 

He took time off for a week or so, and three days before the race, he did a three mile run and had a lot of pain afterwards.  So he made the tough decision to not run the marathon, but he decided to run the mini.  It really freaked me out, I'm not going to lie.  He was all "Oh, I can't do the marathon, but 13.1 miles, I guess I can do that."  Like 13.1 miles is just nothing, right?  But then I'd also find him saying things like "I can't believe I'm only doing 13.1 miles."  I was about to stage an intervention.  Because that is just delusional speaking. 

 

 

I made him sign up for this program where I would get text alerts when he crossed certain point.  I think the only alert was at 10k which was halfway or so, but I just wanted to make sure he was okay.  Aside from attaching a GPS tracking device, I was stuck.  So Saturday morning, Aubrey and I got up, and we nervously headed downtown.  I was nervous, and I knew T was scared to death.  After the race started, Aubrey and I found our way inside, somewhere warm, and waited out till the finish.  I had a vague idea of how long it would take  him to get to the 10k and watched my watch until then.  But I never got the alert.  Ever.  I don't know if the system malfunctioned or what, but I was picture T on a stretcher being hauled off the hospital with no way to communicate with me because I had both of our cell phones.

 

 

T had said that he would finish roughly in 2 1/2 hours, so when it got to 2 hours, I headed there.  That's when I found them.  My brother and T had finished in 2:00:18.  I was so disappointed I didn't get to see him cross the finish line, but I was super impressed with how quickly he finished.  That's one of his best times, and he did it while injured.  I was shocked to see him finish so soon.  But I couldn't have been prouder.  And more relieved :-)

   

   

So I am thankful today for 1) the fact that T finished his race in one piece; 2) he has the courage to say "Hey, I don't think I can do what I originally set out to do, no matter how much it sucks and 3) his perseverance.  He never gave up, and that's what I love about him.

 

 

Now I am forcing him to take at least a month off.  Rest, T, rest!   

   

"I'm so glad I got to see you"

 

 

 

This week's Spin Cycle brought to you by Gretchen at Second Blooming is on remembering someone you lost.  "In Memoriam"  As soon as I saw the topic, I knew...this was going to be a tough one.  And I'm not going to lie, this is terribly hard for me to write.

 

 

The other day, not sure why, I read through some of my older blog posts from last year.  I wanted to read some of the thoughts I had on my pregnancy at the time, but there was a more noticeable trend in my writing.  It focused on my Grandpa George.  He had been sick for so long.  It was such a painful process watching him slowly die and be in such pain.  It was just the worst thing to watch this once proud, full of life man turn into a shell of his former self, watch him quickly wither away, forgetting things that were once so important to him, not caring to continue on, wanting nothing more in the world than to be reunited with my Grandma in heaven and wondering why God just wouldn't call him home.  I struggled for the longest time with that feeling.  The anger and the resentment built up in me - why would God do this?  Just take him already, I thought.  Stop making this so hard on him and my Mom and aunts and uncles who were his caretakers towards the end. 

 

 

I wanted to cry as I read those posts.  I didn't.  And I'm hoping I can remain strong over the next few weeks because this November 15th it will be one year since he finally found that peace he deserved for so long.  I have no doubt in this world he is in heaven.  Shortly after he died, I had a dream with both him and my Grandma in it, together.  Catholics believe in purgatory and believe that we must pray for the ones we lose so that they do go to heaven.  I believe the suffering and anguish he went through towards the end was his purgatory.  He is in heaven.  Watching over all of us. 

 

 

I remember that day like it was yesterday.  I remember that time so vividly.  The last time I saw him alive was when the entire family united for one last reunion with him.  I held his hand as he cried and said "why can't I just be with Peggy (my Grandma)?"  I told through my own tears that he would be soon and that she was preparing for his homecoming.  I couldn't see him after July 30th, when we had that last get together after a very difficult personal decision.  I felt I had to put my health and the health of my baby first.  With how hard my pregnancy was going, my high blood pressure, I knew he wouldn't want me to put myself and the baby through that stress.  So I had to come to terms with that being the last time I hugged him and said "I'm so glad I got to see you, Grandpa."  I remember how thin he was when I hugged him tight.  I felt like if I squeezed too hard, I'd break him.  He just wasn't the Grandpa I always knew.

 

 

I remember the day I got that phone call.   T went with me to one of our biweekly cardiologist appointments, and we had just gotten home and I was resting.  I have special ring tones for my family members, and I knew my Mom was on her way to stay in Terre Haute until he passed.  And then my phone rang shortly before noon.  It was my Dad's ring tone.  T was out of the room at the time, but he still said he knew immediately what it was as soon as that phone rang.  My heart sank, and my hands shook as I answered.  My Dad, through tears, told me Grandpa had passed, just twenty minutes before my Mom made it there to say good-bye.  I was so conflicted.  I felt a weight lift off of me, but then I just broke down.  He was gone.  It couldn't be possible.  I was just a zombie the rest of that day, unsure what to feel.  Being eight months pregnant at the time, I had to deal with it the best I could and take care of myself at the same time. 

 

 

Aubrey's actual due date was his birthday.  February 22nd.  She was born a week ahead of time, but it wasn't lost on me one bit that she shared that day with him.  I believe it was more than just a coincidence that happened to be her due date.  It was like it was meant to be.  I tell her all the time how much Grandpa George would have loved her.  I have no doubt he does. 

 

 

A day doesn't go by that I don't miss him, that I don't look at the picture up above that I have framed in our living room and wish he were still with us.  But I know he's happy and at peace.  He's with the love of his life. 

 

 

I've shared this with all of you before, but we used to have this thing.  He started it.  When I'd hug him good bye, he'd so "Alaina, I'm so glad you got to see me."  We'd laugh because of how silly it was.  As I got older, I'd try to beat him to it.  "Grandpa, I'm just so glad you got to see me."  To the end, I still said it to him.  I'm not sure if he remembered towards the end, but he always smiled so I like to think he did.  But it's more than that.  I'm so glad I got to see him.  I'm so glad I got to know him.  I love him, and I miss him more than he'll ever know. 

 

 

God bless you, Grandpa.  I love you, and I'm sure glad I got to see you.

   

 

Hopefully other Spinners won't have written a novel like this, and so stop by Gretchen's blog to see what they have to say.  I think it goes without saying, but today...I'm thankful for my Grandpa.  Every single day I got to spend with him.

     

Daddy's girl

Today is my Dad's birthday so I'm dedicating my thankful post to him.  My Dad is the best.  He's always been so supportive, pushed me to be the best that I can be, and held my hand along the way.  As his little girl, I think he's pretty protective.  I'm the youngest, after all, and I'm the little girl who, just four months into her life, had major heart surgery.  He was the most important man in my life.  Until T came along.  And then my Dad, proudly, gave my hand to T's in marriage. 


I have inherited many a trait from my father.  My sense of humor.  My stubbornness.  My consistency.  My independence.  He's always been that strong person in my family and in my life.  And I always have known I can count on him. 


I'm not going to lie, as a little girl and into my teen years he did scare me just a bit.  Something about being the Dad gave him this aura of toughness, the disciplinarian, the "just wait until your father gets home" factor.  But as the years have gone by, we seem to have grown closer.  I email him more often, I go to him with my problems and concerns, and despite the fact I have T in my life, when I have car trouble, he still is one of the first people I call. 


This past year, he was particularly strong for me.  The day we went to the cardiologist and found out that there was a possibility I couldn't have a child, he was a pillar of support for T and me.  During my pregnancy, it was the same thing.  He was willing to step in the day I had to go to a routine visit to the cardiologist when T was unable to get out of a work meeting, and he kissed me on the forehead as I waited for the nurse to take me into an emergency echo-cardiogram after being told my heart rate was 144 and I needed to be checked to make sure my repair was not at risk of rupturing.  


No matter how old I'll get, I know I'll always be his little girl.  It wasn't any more evident than the day we had Aubrey.  I think he still gets flashbacks to the day he and my mom handed me over for surgery as a baby.  As the nurse was prepping me for the c-section, just minutes before I was ready to go, he got all skittish and nervous.  "I need to get some coffee," he said, quickly leaving the room before I had to walk to the OR.  I seem to think it wasn't the coffee.  But maybe that's just me.


He's so loving with Aubrey, so proud.  He's a wonderful father and an even more wonderful grandfather.  And as much as I grumble at T whenever he does something that drives me crazy reminding me of my father (they say you always end up marrying someone just like your dad), I am so lucky that I have found someone just like my Dad.  Because he's a wonderful man, so why wouldn't I want to be with someone who his like that with me? 


So today, I am thankful for my Dad.  He doesn't know I have this blog but I still wish him a very Happy Birthday!  Love you Dad!

     

Make it stop! Please, make it stop!

Today's "thankful post" is on the fact it is election day.  Thank God!  It's election day!  I swear, I normally bitch and moan about most election periods, but this one has been particularly painful.   The ads.  Dear God, the ads.  I'm not sure I can take much more of these.  I was home with Aubrey for those few days she was sick, and just having the TV on in the background, I couldn't even keep count with how many I heard.  I made up my mind who I was voting for a long time ago, so I could care less about these stupid ads.  But they are so annoying. 

 

 

It's almost enough to make me not want to watch TV in general.  T made the comment that after today we won't have to hear anything about elections.  I wish that were the case.  But I have no doubt that no matter who wins today, talk of 2016 will pretty much immediately begin. 

 

 

T and I have taken to making the ads even more dramatic since the tone of them is normally dramatic enough.  "So and so is Satan."  "This person is related to Hitler."  "This candidate was that third shooter behind the grassy knoll."  And "This candidate for State Senate eats babies.  Do you want someone who eats babies deciding the future of OUR babies?"  I mean, come on.  Half the time the ads just have talking points or some political statement that a candidate made taken completely out of context or so obviously spliced from a speech where you know there was more to the sentence than the snippet they just played.  And the ones where the candidates are standing their talking to a crowd of students or sitting there all lovingly with their family.  Totally staged. 

 

 

So yes, I am thankful today for the fact that as of tonight, the madness will be over.  Unless we have another Bush v. Gore.  In that case I am going into hiding and secluding myself from all media.  Just saying. 

 

 

And I will be watching election coverage tonight, mostly because as a journalism major, I heart Brian Williams and Tom Brokaw.  And man, I miss Tim Russert's coverage.  Such a good journalist.  But then I'll be turning to the Daily Show for the rest because I'd rather see a humorous spin of this whole thing.  It beats, as Biden put it, all of the other "malarkey." 

  But...we voted!    

     

Motivation Monday!

Happy Motivation Monday!  I don't know about you, but I'm motivated to have a much better week than last week.  Honestly, considering the craptastic-fest that last week was, I am pretty sure it's all up from here.  Trust me, there is no other option.  I think I used the word suck so many times last week that it has lost all meaning to me. 


So anyway, in continuation of my thankfulness recognition in November, for today, I'm grateful for progress.  A few months ago, I could barely run a few minutes, and I've gotten to the point where I can run eight minutes straight on the treadmill without stopping or getting out of breath.  For an asthmatic and non-runner, I'm pretty stoked about that.  And I'm just shy of twenty pounds lost in the month or so on the diet plan.  So I'm thankful for the motivation, for my husband for supporting me and for progress that I'm making every week.


So this week, the motivation is to keep going, keep pushing.  Sure, I have my days when I slip and go over the allowable exchanges for starches or fats, but just keep going on the eating healthy, watching portions, and exercising.  I've started doing 8 minute abs in the mornings despite the Weather Channel music and cheesy 80s style video.  But damn, it makes my abs hurt so that has to mean something, right? 


I am soooo close to my goal weight.  So close I can feel it.  So let's keep going! 


What's your motivation?  Join in on the fun!  Write a post about what motivation you need this week, link up to my blog in your post and leave a comment with your link, and I'll add you to the list! 


Oh, and before I end this blog, let me end with this...Daylight Savings Time?  And a baby?  Suck.  That's all I'll say about that. 
       

Thankful

Can any of you believe it's November?  Really?  November?  Slow down, year, slow down!

 

 

Anyway, with the month of November comes the urge to sing "November Rain" and fill cornucopias with harvest vegetables.  And it also makes people take a step back and really recognize thing things for which you are grateful.  So I've decided for the month of November to dedicate each post to something for which I am thankful. 

 

 

Sadly, I missed November 1st.  Not a good start.  So for this post, I'm going to talk about two things I am thankful for. 

 

 

We're not going to hit the easy ones first off the bat.  That would just be too simple. 

 

 

For the first day of November, I am thankful that our family and friends out on the East Coast are safe and sound.  T's family is from the Boston area, with a few living in New York City and in North Carolina.  I have several family members in New Jersey, Washington, D.C., and Virginia.   I feel so awful for the people out there who have no power, the people who have lost loved ones.  I mean it is just so so very awful.  However, I do feel grateful that our loved ones came out okay.  We are sending prayers to everyone out there. 



For November 2nd, I am thankful for the teachers in my daughter's daycare class.  We lucked out immensely with where she was placed.  She is with a mother/daughter team of these two very sweet Scottish women.  I love their accents.  And I love the way they Aubrey's name.  And Aubrey just loves them so much.  She never freaks out or anything when we leave her.  She's just all smiles.  They take such good care of her, and I leave feeling so secure that she is in good care and is happy.  Not everyone can say that about their daycare.  Well, the daughter is leaving as of today.  She has gotten a job in the field she studied in college.  I'm super happy for her, but at the same time, we will miss her so much.  We are lucky her mother will continue to be there and that she will ensure the new person will be as good and as interactive with the children as her daughter was. 


So those are the my "thankful" things for the first two days of November.  I'm not sure if Saturday and Sunday posts will be a possibility depending on time.  I'll tell you one thing I am so not thankful for, and that is T having to work on Sunday.  What the what?  Not cool.  Not cool. 


Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!