Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Real love

They say having a baby and starting a family is one of the best things a couple can go through, but also one of the most stressful.  It's certainly an adventure...one that I'm so happy we're on, but one that definitely has tested our relationship over the course of the past month.  But I am happy to say we are coming out stronger, more so than ever, in our relationship.  I've grown a lot this past month and I believe T has done so, too.  And I've learned a whole new level of love and what it means to truly be there for someone.  Let me give you the best example I can think of....
Recovery from my c-section was definitely not easy.  When we were in the hospital I was in a great deal of pain, and doing pretty much anything, let alone getting out of my bed, was a painful process. That first day I couldn't do anything, and T had to pretty much take care of everything with respect to Aubrey.  Every cry, every feeding, every dirty diaper, it was all him.  And he did so without any complaining at all.  And without ever doing it before.  I was amazed by how he just clicked into high gear, never having cared for a baby, and he did it so naturally and with ease.  Instinct, I guess, but it made me fall in love with him even more than I already am.  There's truly nothing more attractive in a man than watching him care for his child. 
But that's not the aha moment I'm trying to describe.  It happened the second day in the hospital.  They removed my catheter, and I had finally been cleared to get out of bed and shower.  Of course, I couldn't bend at all, everything hurt, and I was given nearly impossible instructions to shower.  I couldn't use my right hand because my IV was hooked up there and I couldn't get it wet.  I had to shower with my back to the shower to not get water on my scar.  So here I am (right-handed, mind you) washing my hair with my left hand, back to the shower, and I couldn't wash anything below my waist because I couldn't reach.  So T had to help me shower.  He held my  hand as he walked me to the bathroom, watched me change (which isn't exactly flattering considering I was bleeding, had a huge scar, smelled awful because I hadn't showered in more than 24 hours...), and he stood there with me in the bathroom and bathed me.  He washed my scar, helped me climb back into my clothes, and then he helped put the dressing back on my scar.  And he did so without any question or getting grossed out or anything. 
I've been through the ringer in terms of relationships and in love, and it hit me when I got back into my bed, how much he must truly love me.  And unconditionally, too.  It was so unselfish, so caring, so full of love that he took care of me those four days in the hospital.  It hit me just how much he loves me and how much I love him.  And yes, I'm aware of this fact on a daily basis, but it was like we had reached a new level in our relationship, like we had matured in how much we loved and cared for each other.  Without a doubt, I would do the same thing for him.  No question at all in my mind. 
I have a good one, ladies.  Just saying....


  1. That is beautiful. As they say, having a baby changes everything. The whole thing is a crazy magical miracle and it is great the way you get to experience it all together, the good, the bad and the ugly. It really brings your relationship to a whole new level and that is a beautiful thing!

  2. You do indeed have a good one!! It is such a blessing to find such a man. (I know, I've been married to just such a man for nearly 28 years).

  3. It's great that you recognized it right away. Sometimes, new mom's are caught up in the "it's all on me to deliver the baby, feed the baby, and take care of myself too!" moments that we don't pause and see what our husbands are willing to do if we let them. You definitely have a wonderful man!

  4. So true - he's a good one! My husband did things he should never have had to do and which will never be spoken of again after I had my kids. Dads and husbands don't always get the praise, but they deserve it for taking care of mama and baby! Good job, T!


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