Please don't take my sunshine away

I have a real serious post I want to write.  One I need to write about something that happened this past weekend and is weighing on my mind.  But...I'm tired.  From the day I have just had (writing this Monday night, of course).  I don't have it in me to get all deep and thoughtful.  But I will.  Just later. 

 

 

Today, I was at home with a sick Miss Aubrey.  Poor little monkey has a stomach bug AND an upper respiratory virus.  She's not been herself all weekend, really fussing to the point where T and I were like "shit, is this what it's like having a toddler already?"  But I knew something was up - last night she completely refused the bottle (totally unlike my child), and this morning, threw up in her bed and just sort of laid in my arms as I rocked her.  Yeah, didn't end up going to work.  I kind of knew that as soon as I saw her throw up the first time.  And then the second time. 

 

 

I felt helpless today.  She wasn't eating, she had a fever, throwing up, coughing, just pitiful.  And I didn't know what to do.  How do I fix it?  I just held her close, trying to comfort her as she sobbed and laid her head on my arm.  T had a mandatory work training so it was just me manning the booth today, but I think even if T were at home, she still would have been clinging to Mommy.  There's just something about it.  When you're sick, you want your mom.  And Aubrey was definitely no exception to that. 

 

 

I miss seeing her little smile.  It's sad that one day of not seeing it...just one day, breaks my heart.  In total, I let her sleep about five hours during the day, and she was out cold by bed time.  So hopefully when you read this Tuesday, she's back to her normal self.  Hopefully. 

 

 

Ugh, I don't like this part of being a parent.  Not being able to make it better.  I know this only gets worse and that there are only more hurts out there that you can't fix.  And as she gets older, my holding her and saying "it's okay" may not be enough or what she wants.  But for now, that's what I'll do. 

 

 

And hopefully I'll see one of these again...