At least this is a post!

Where does the time go?  Seriously...where does the time go during the day?  I just looked at my blog here and realized it's been days since I've posted.  And I can't honestly recall why.  I know yesterday I was out and about, but still...I had time to write a post.  At least a small one.  But nope, nothing.  I've got nothing. 

 

 

I think it's the sleep deprivation.  And the demands of this adorable six week old...

 

 

 

Don't let that adorable smile fool you.  She is not always that easy going.  I caught this smile while she was checking out her ceiling fan.  (She LOVES looking at the ceiling fan)  But during that day, those smiles are out numbered by the cries for food, attention and dirty diapers.  (Of course, the smiles do make it all worth it.) 


But what I'm trying to say is it's hard to find time to have my hands free so that I can type.  Most of the comments I write on other's blogs are typed out with one finger as I hold Aubrey in my other hand.  It takes a lot longer than normal typing, let me tell you...but at least I leave comments!  I would like to blog a little bit more.  Maybe I should find time to do it when she's napping...we're still working on that sleep schedule thing, so maybe once she starts doing a little better with that I'll have some spare time on my hands to write?  Or sleep?  Which should I do?  I'm going with sleep. 


Sorry for this rambling post here...this is Nain at 6:00 in the morning coming up with not much to say.  But...I did a post!  So that's important, right?


TGIF everyone!  Hope you have a wonderful weekend!
 

Confessions

Short on post ideas yet again today :-)  (Sorry!) so I'm going to be random here and enterain you with some Nain confessions for this week...enjoy!

 

• I have had more than my fair share of Easter candy these past few weeks.  This doesn't help the whole Motivation Monday thing.  I can't very well lose weight if I'm eating this stuff!  I know I can chose NOT to eat it, but it's so damn good!
• I sing to Aubrey, but the songs aren't always appropriate...the one I seem to sing the most is LMFAO's "I'm Sexy and I Know It."  I hope I'm not scarring her young mind already.
• As much as I treasure the time that I am having with Aubrey...I miss work.  I feel like an awful mom for saying that, but I miss going to the office and doing my job. 
• The fact that we don't know when her daycare spot will be open is killing me.
• I'm not sure how much more of daytime TV I can take.  Dr. Oz is on twice a day.  Who knows why?  And he talks about poop an awful lot.  What's that about?  Yet I continue to have it on in the background.  That and Dr. Phil.  (Did I mention I'm ready to go back to work?)
• I actually enjoy watching Kathie Lee and Hoda on The Today Show.  I am not afraid to admit it either.  I find their honesty and candor refreshing.
• I sometimes laugh when Aubrey is crying.  Not because I find her misery entertaining but because she is just so darn dramatic.  (Not sure where she gets that from...)  It's just too cute.  I can tell I already have a drama queen on my hands.  Lord help us...
• I miss the alone time Tim and I used to share.  I know it gets easier once I get Aubrey on a schedule sleeping and what not, but I do miss it.  And eating dinner slowly and enjoying a conversation instead of eating quickly and trying to race so that she doesn't start fussing again.
• I've gone back to caffeine.  More than I should, too, with my blood pressure and heart condition, but I can't help it.  Mommy needs to get through the day. 

I hope you guys don't think I'm too awful with some of these confessions, but...I try to be as honest as possible in this blog, so...too bad!  Hope everyone is having a great Wednesday!

 

Who wants to see pictures?

Things have been busy with my work stuff last week, trying to get Aubrey on a sleep schedule and well...sleep deprivation.  So I'm not really wanting to write much.  Instead, I thought I'd share some of the pictures from Aubrey's newborn photo shoot.  Nikole Riggins of Kole Photography took these, and she's pretty awesome, if I do say so myself!  The shoot was tiring, and she was super patient.  Here's some of what she got:

 

 (It took us 3 hours to get Aubrey calm and sleepy enough to take the pictures.  I believe this is right after a crying fit and right before she peed on me :-)

 (My Christmas present from T - it's foot prints with Aubrey's name and birthstone on them)

I love her.   

Motivation Monday!

 

It's another Monday, and you know what that means...another motivation Monday!  I actually momentarily forgot I had restarted this meme, which is sad because that means I would have lost my motivation just one week after starting it back up.  Yikes.  But I remembered...so all is well in the world.  It's super easy to do this...just write up a post about what motivation you need this week (anything at all - so long as it's legal!), link back to this post in yours and then leave a link to it in a comment to this post.  And then I'll link you up!  

 

 

So, I was released last week to start exercising at my post partum OB visit.  I've been itching to do it again because it's one of my stress relievers and I'm one of those sick people who actually enjoys exercise.  So, that next day, while T watched Aubrey for me, I went out and did a 45 minute speed walk around our neighborhood.  And that kicked my butt.  My leg muscles aren't as strong as they were pre-baby...and neither are my back muscles, for that matter.  But it felt good to get out.  And I've tried my best to walk and exercise as much as possible since then.  Of course, being out of town this weekend, I couldn't do that.  And I had every intention of waking up this morning at 5:00 to walk, but somewhere around when I was feeding Aubrey at 4:00 a.m., I changed my mind.  So I need to figure a way around those difficulties because it's much harder to find time and energy to really exercise with a 6 week old baby. 

 

 

However, last week I did get more motivation to get  my butt into gear.  With the conference I attended, I needed to dig out my professional work clothes and see what fit.  Well...pretty much nothing fit.  Despite the fact that I'm pretty much at my pre-pregnancy weight, my body isn't there or didn't get that memo.  Things have....well...how do I put this?  Shifted.  I was so frustrated and sad when I tried on dress after dress and nothing fit.  Of course, yes, I am aware that I just had a baby and I should probably give myself time to get back to normal.  Who knows, maybe in the back of my mind I convinced myself I could be like those women who have babies and walk out in their pre-pregnancy clothes.  (I'm not, by the way...)  But it was a bit of a knock to the ego.  But it did give me even more motivation to really get myself going. 

 

 

So that's my motivation, what's yours?  Can't wait to read all about them! 

  

A day apart

This week I go back to work, so to speak.  Well, not full time but for a full day on Friday.  I'm still technically on maternity leave (unpaid maternity leave, mind you), but I was invited to join in on this all day conference regarding access to justice in Indiana.  It involves a select invite list so when I received the letter in early February, I couldn't say no.  It should be an incredibly interesting conference, and I'm honored to be asked to be a part of it.  However...this is my first full day away from Aubrey.  And Mommy is more than a little nervous. 

 

 

T has graciously offered to come with me to downtown Indy while I'm at the conference and spend Friday with Aubrey at the hotel where we'll be staying.  Saturday I have an all-day Mary Kay conference downtown, too, so it made more sense to just stay downtown.  So it's not like Aubrey isn't with a parent or anything.  But it's going to be hard, as she and I have spent every hour together pretty much since her birth on February 15th.  She's become my little sidekick.  Sure, she does drive me crazy, especially when she refuses to nap during the day like yesterday or has multiple dirty diapers in a thirty minute span.  But, she's my little cutie, and I do enjoy spending my days with her.  How could I not?  Could you say no to this face?

 

 

 

 

 

Nevertheless, maybe these two days apart will be good in transitioning me back to work.  That way, when my maternity leave is up, it's not such a harsh change.   But that doesn't mean I'm not going to miss my little girl. 

 

 

And I'm pretty nervous about getting back into work, too.  It'll be good for me, but...still nervous.  I do think I'm ready, though.  And I'll be ready for sure when my maternity leave is up.  I just won't want to say good bye during the day to my little girl. 

 

 

Such a dilemma, right? 

  



Real love

They say having a baby and starting a family is one of the best things a couple can go through, but also one of the most stressful.  It's certainly an adventure...one that I'm so happy we're on, but one that definitely has tested our relationship over the course of the past month.  But I am happy to say we are coming out stronger, more so than ever, in our relationship.  I've grown a lot this past month and I believe T has done so, too.  And I've learned a whole new level of love and what it means to truly be there for someone.  Let me give you the best example I can think of....

 

 

Recovery from my c-section was definitely not easy.  When we were in the hospital I was in a great deal of pain, and doing pretty much anything, let alone getting out of my bed, was a painful process. That first day I couldn't do anything, and T had to pretty much take care of everything with respect to Aubrey.  Every cry, every feeding, every dirty diaper, it was all him.  And he did so without any complaining at all.  And without ever doing it before.  I was amazed by how he just clicked into high gear, never having cared for a baby, and he did it so naturally and with ease.  Instinct, I guess, but it made me fall in love with him even more than I already am.  There's truly nothing more attractive in a man than watching him care for his child. 

 

 

But that's not the aha moment I'm trying to describe.  It happened the second day in the hospital.  They removed my catheter, and I had finally been cleared to get out of bed and shower.  Of course, I couldn't bend at all, everything hurt, and I was given nearly impossible instructions to shower.  I couldn't use my right hand because my IV was hooked up there and I couldn't get it wet.  I had to shower with my back to the shower to not get water on my scar.  So here I am (right-handed, mind you) washing my hair with my left hand, back to the shower, and I couldn't wash anything below my waist because I couldn't reach.  So T had to help me shower.  He held my  hand as he walked me to the bathroom, watched me change (which isn't exactly flattering considering I was bleeding, had a huge scar, smelled awful because I hadn't showered in more than 24 hours...), and he stood there with me in the bathroom and bathed me.  He washed my scar, helped me climb back into my clothes, and then he helped put the dressing back on my scar.  And he did so without any question or getting grossed out or anything. 

 

 

I've been through the ringer in terms of relationships and in love, and it hit me when I got back into my bed, how much he must truly love me.  And unconditionally, too.  It was so unselfish, so caring, so full of love that he took care of me those four days in the hospital.  It hit me just how much he loves me and how much I love him.  And yes, I'm aware of this fact on a daily basis, but it was like we had reached a new level in our relationship, like we had matured in how much we loved and cared for each other.  Without a doubt, I would do the same thing for him.  No question at all in my mind. 

 

 

I have a good one, ladies.  Just saying....

  

Motivation Monday

 

Good morning!  I'm bringing Motivation Mondays back, starting today!  I hope you all can join me.  It's super easy...just write a post about anything for which you need motivation...whether that be to lose weight, finish a project at work...whatever.  Write the post, linking it back to my blog and then leave a link to your post in a comment.  And I'll add you to the list!  I'll have this going all week so if you don't have a post today, don't fret...you can add one any day until Friday.

So my motivation is getting back into shape.  Since I've been recovering from surgery, my physical activity has been pretty limited.  But today I go to my post partum visit where I get checked out and hopefully released to start doing exercise and getting back to normal.  I don't see any reason why I wouldn't be given the okay to do that.  Of course, I'll have to start off slowly and kind of work my way back up to where I was before, but at least it's something.  For right now, all I've been able to do is take slow walks with Aubrey during the day, not pushing myself too hard.  It's been good to at least get out, but I do miss the exercise. 

I was pleased to find out on Thursday at my family doctor's visit that I'm pretty much back to my pre-pregnancy weight, only off by about 3 lbs.  Of course, I had wanted to lose weight before I got pregnant, so I do want to lose about 10 lbs, but at least I'm not fighting a whole bunch of additional weight from pregnancy.  I guess I was "all baby" during the pregnancy.  No complaints here!

I will have to adjust my exercise from before I was pregnant.  We were working out with a personal trainer prior to me getting pregnant, and I was doing some weight lifting along with aerobic exercise.  Well...after my scare at the cardiologist and after talking to him about what exercise I can do, apparently I wasn't supposed to be lifting weights ever.  Oops.  Luckily I didn't do any damage, but I need to be smarter about it.  I will be speed walking, which I've always loved to do, but eventually I'd like to work my way up to jogging, too, as exercise.  And perhaps trying out the Zumba thing.  I'm excited to start!

So that's my motivation...what's yours? 

Robin @ Find Good in Every Day

  



Happy St Patrick's Day!

It's the happiest day of the year!  Slainte and cheers with a Guinness on this happy day!   Happy St. Patrick's Day from Nain, T and Aubrey!  

   

The return of Motivation Monday!

 

I put a kibosh on the Motivation Monday meme back during the start of my pregnancy as things got crazy and well...the ability to have motivation to lose weight and get in shape kind of went away.  It seemed like my motivation turned to "stay as stress free as possible and healthy for the baby" so I didn't want to say the same thing over and over again every Monday.  Plus, participation kind of dropped off...but...


It's time. 


I go for my official post partum visit on Monday, and I'm hoping I get the all clear to start exercising again.  Of course, my scar and stomach are still healing so I don't intend to do any squat thrusts or lunges any time soon, but to get back into my speed walking would be nice.  I'm totally jealous of T getting to exercise in a race this weekend, and I'd like to eventually get back to that point.  I do want to lose a little weight, too.  I did find out today at my doctor's appointment that I'm just 3 lbs away from my pre-pregnancy weight, but even before then, I wanted to lose about 10 lbs.  So I need to get back to that point. 


So I'm back to getting motivated, starting Monday, March 19th!  And I hope that all of you will join me again.  It's super easy...just write about something that is motivating you that week.  It doesn't have to be about exercise or weight...it can be anything!  I'd like to get this first post to be a successful one, so be thinking of your posts this week!  Come back Monday and comment with a link to your post, and I'll link you up! 


Have a great weekend, everyone!

   



Just playing...

It's so cool to see Aubrey growing so soon and developing.  Today I got her to play on her play mat, and I just had to share this video of her just amazed by the colors and shapes she saw.  Such a cool thing to witness, and I may be biased...but I think this is pretty cute...

A Mommy Blog?

Warning:  This post may be a little controversial.

 

 

So I've noticed that most, if not all, of my posts since Aubrey's arrival have been about her and adjusting to life as a parent, and it has me thinking about the direction I want to take my blog in...and honestly, I'm not sure.  When I started this blog, it was a way to push me back into writing.  I tried my best to make sure my posts were honest, creative, etc.  I like to think, for the most part, that I succeeded at that.  However, as my pregnancy progressed further along, and after Aubrey's arrival, the content of my blog has ventured into "Mommy blog" territory. 

 

 

This isn't to say I have any problem whatsoever with being a Mommy blog.  Many of the blogs I read on a daily basis are just that, and they are some of the best ones on the Web.  It's just that there are so many of them out there, and mine is nothing in comparison to the ones that are.  Instead it reads more like a blog that people write to keep friends and family updated on the happenings of their family.  I'd be okay doing that if I let my family and friends know about my blog.  Some of my friends do read this blog, but my family, not so much.  I worry that if I did let my family in on the blog, that I'd be judged.  I know a few of my family members think blogs are silly or stupid or self-serving, and I don't think the news would go over too well with them.  So I've kept it a secret since I started it almost two years ago. 

 

 

So what do I do?  Do I change the focus of my blog?  Arguably, it's hard not to write about this new development in my life.  My daily life is about Aubrey and I am a new mom.  I hate to say that I don't have a lot going on other than becoming a mother, but it's true.  Being at home with a newborn is a full-time job, and she does demand most, if not all, of my attention during the day.  Until I do go back to work, I don't have a lot else to really talk about.   But I am afraid of alienating some of my readers who don't necessarily want to read a Mommy blog. 

 

 

I suppose I could rotate my postings so that I make sure I have a variety of content.  Or, I could do what Katie at Marriage Confessions does and have separate pages for different types of content.  I couldn't update both sections on a daily basis, but it would separate the two types of content I have.  I don't quite know at this point, so I'm asking you, the people out there who do read my blog - what do you think?  Any of you moms out there, do you find yourself having the same dilemma? 

 

 

Ah, decisions, decisions....

 

Small victories!

After posting yesterday, I spent the afternoon searching the Internet for ideas on how to help little Miss Aubrey sleep more during the night. I'm not naive and realize she's only a month old and still will need to get up every few hours to eat, but the past few days, having her not sleep for an hour or even two in between feedings...something has to give.  So I was willing to try anything. 

 

 

I found quite a lot out there.  I'm not one for the co-sleeping thing, but that's mostly from my days as a DCS attorney.  I just can't do it, though I know she'd sleep better if we tried it.  We did find some great tips that we put into effect last night, though.  I let her eat a little bit more and/or more often than we normally schedule for her so that her stomach was fuller.  We calmed things down a great deal after 8 p.m. and slowed down.   And somewhere I read that newborn babies have a harder time sleeping alone in a pack and play like we had Aubrey sleeping because of the openness of it all.  So we tried her sleeping in her carrier last night so she was a little more curled up and compact.  And wouldn't you know it...she slept for 4 hours at a time!  And didn't bat an eye when we put her back down after a feeding! 

 

 

What is this foreign feeling I am experiencing this morning? 

 

 

Oh wait...it's rest! 

 

 

I'm not a fool in thinking this will work every night, but it sure is nice to have another tool in our arsenal.  And if it works...well, it works.  I think we'll take just about anything to get a bit more rest these days.  It makes me a much nicer Mommy during the day :-)  And when Mommy is happy, everyone is happy.

 

 

Just happy for the small victories!

  

Running on empty

You know how when your tank is low and at "E" you can get a few more miles in before your car just stops?  That's how I feel today.  I'm definitely running on empty, and I know that T is feeling the same way.  We've hit our sleep deprivation wall after these past few days.  A certain little girl has decided to cut down on her sleep during the day. 

 

 

As Sprite's Keeper put it a few posts ago, when we lay her down in her crib at night it's like defusing a bomb.  She falls asleep in our arms after eating, and we tiptoe to the bedroom trying our best to not wake her.  All seems well until that moment...when we put her down and slip the hand away from the back of her head.  The eyes pop open and suddenly she's wide awake.  The vibration thing on her pack and play doesn't help put her back to sleep and neither does the white noise machine.  This has happened consistently two nights in a row, the worst being last night.  All seemed to be going well until she woke up at 2:00 a.m. to be fed.  I fed her, she fell asleep, but it all went to hell as soon as I put her back in bed.  From that moment on, she and I played the game of "will she or won't she sleep."  And that game lasted all night.  I managed to hold down the fort until 4:30 when I decided I need a sanity break and T took over.  He held it down for a short while, but he has to go to work during the day so that means he needs his sleep more than I do (well, not technically but I'm being nice :-)  I tried everything - rocking her again, bringing her downstairs to sleep in her little chair...nothing worked.  So today I'm going on maybe 2, 3 hours of sleep.  Three is probably being generous.  Hell, so is 2. 

 

 

She did manage to fall asleep after breakfast this morning so I took her back upstairs with me, placed her in her pack and play and tried to go back to sleep.  Not more than five minutes of laying down did she wake up.  Again.  So...so much for that, right? 

 

 

It does let up eventually, right?  The sleep deprivation is taking its toll on me and T.  We're grumpy all the time, and it's not good for our relationship as a couple.  I do miss the days of just curling up in bed and chatting before we go to sleep.  I know that in a few weeks she'll be sleeping in her own crib in the other room, and that might make things easier.  But it's still a strain.  And today of all days I'm feeling particularly anxious about it.  Not sure why I'm venting on the blog, but...I guess I need to.  Without adult contact, I certainly can't vent to Aubrey.  (Though I did try to explain to her the importance of coffee to Mommy and how it makes her nicer during the day.  Not sure she understood, however.)  But I'm just worried.  And tired.  And feeling pretty bad for not liking my kid in the middle of the night. 

 

 

It does get easier.  Right? 

  

You can't pick your neighbors...Douche edition

My good friend, Chloe, did a hilarious post the other day about her crazy neighbors (stop by and check it out - love the illustrations she did along with it!), and  I'm short on blogging ideas these days so...I figured I'd steal from her and do a little post on mine too :-) 

 

 

Ours are nowhere near as crazy as hers are.  Yes, in my apartment days, I did have a drug dealing neighbor who would leave at all hours of the day, stomped around his apartment like a storm trooper and always seemed to be moving furniture and hanging pictures at all hours of the night.  But now that we're in a house, we have more distance between us and the people near us.  Well, with the exception of one family.  

 

 

They live across the street from us and moved in only a few months ago.  We knew they were there because of the noise.  It's a young couple with a kid, and the man apparently likes to race cars.  I'm all for someone restoring a car.  My dad has his 1972 Chevelle he completely restored and takes to shows.  That's great.  But this guy's car is different.  It's some 1990 version of a Camero that really doesn't look that great on the outside.  The only thing I think he has done with it is mess with the engine so that it idles really low and rumbles loudly and he has to gun it to get the car to go.  We know he races because he leaves at all hours of the day and always has numbers written on the back window in soap.  I think road racing like that is illegal in Indiana, but...I can only assume he would be doing this on the down low.  Not very bright about it though because you can hear him coming and going every time. 

 

 

It would be one thing if he just drove the car calmly down the street, but the douche treats our street like a drag strip.  Forget the fact it's a residential street and that most of us have children who like to play on the street.  I hate to think that Aubrey won't be safe to be outside when she's older.  And it really irritates me when he does this at 3:00 in the morning.  Before Aubrey was born, he left his house so loudly he startled me awake in the middle of the night.  And we're talking startled, as in really startled.  Scared me half to death.  The other night I was feeding Aubrey at 3:00, and he did it and woke her up just as she was beginning to doze off.  For those mothers who understand just how delicate it is, the process of feeding your newborn calmly and quietly so that you can quickly put them back to bed and get some sleep yourself, can feel my pain, I'm sure. 

 

 

I've thought about confronting him about it, but I'm afraid that will make our living situation worse.  I mean...the guy is a douche.  I'm sure maturity doesn't go hand in hand with the love of drag racing his piece of crap 1990s Camero.  Or looking up any noise ordinances I can call in.  Any ideas? 

 

 

I guess I should save for another day the post about our neighbor kid who likes to throw knives and hatchets at a piece of board he puts up on his tree in his backyard.  Last week I saw him massacring what looked to be a toy.  Just a serial killer in training....and we do live in a nice suburban neighborhood, mind you.  But...another post for another day :-) 

 

 

Thanks for the post idea, Chloe!

  

Checking in

Sorry for my lack of posts, everyone...I'm still adjusting to the new "normal" here in the T and Nain household.  Despite the fact that everyone says that babies sleep a lot during the day, that doesn't mean I get a whole lot of time to get much done around the house.  Or sleep.  Aubrey has decided that anytime I put her down, she will start fussing until I pick her up.  I love having her sleep on my chest like she does during the day, but that position does not leave a lot of room for moving about or writing on the laptop.  Luckily I have her down for a short while here, so I'm trying my best to catch up on emails, writing or basically anything that I need to do.  Let's see how long that lasts!


I have been lucky for the past few days in that the weather that is known as Indiana weather, it's been sunny and pretty the last few days, so I've been able to get outside and take her for a walk.  It's nowhere near the type of walks I used  to do for exercise, but getting outside and just getting some fresh air does help every now and then.  I'm going stir crazy just being cooped up in this house and not being able to leave and go for a short drive or walk around at Target or...basically just get out.  I can't wait until I'm cleared to drive again, and Miss Aubrey and I can get out.  I hear taking drives can help calm down a fussy baby...let's see if that works eventually :-) 


I promise to try to catch up on reading blogs and hopefully posting more often.  And pictures, of course!  And to satisfy you guys for the time being!


Miss Aubrey sleeping away...yes, I managed to catch a moment where she was all peaceful :-)

Hanging out with my favorite girl...

Taking a walk outside and enjoying the sun.  I probably was a little overzealous with the blankets, but I wasn't sure how warm she needs to be.  Don't you just love her hat?

  

Back to a semi-normal

We've been really blessed these past two weeks that T's work gives him two weeks of paid paternity leave.   Having him at home with me has been so great.  The first week back from the hospital, my ability to do any physical activity was extremely limited so having him here to help me just get around the house was great.  I honestly don't know what I would have done if he wasn't there.  And having him here to just spend that time with me and Aubrey was priceless.  So needless to say, I've been dreading this day for weeks.  The day when T would have to go back to work. 

 

 

So we're getting back to a semi-normal in that now T has to get up every morning just like before and head back to work.  I say semi-normal because I'm still at home which feels incredibly weird.  I'm not a stay-at-home person by any means because I have to constantly be busy, but being limited in what I can do and not being able to drive just yet is driving (ha, no pun intended) me crazy.  I'd love to just be able to get out for a little bit.  At least with T here, he'd make me leave the house if not for a short car ride every now and then because he knows how I can get.  (One of the many many reasons I truly appreciate him.)

 

 

I know that we must get back to our normal routine eventually, but it's been nice just having my little family here and now I feel like a huge part of that is missing.  Not getting to see T until he gets home from work just doesn't seem like enough.  Why can't men get that same time off that women get off?  I mean, it's just as important that a father have that time to bond with his child, right?  I feel bad for T because I get the whole day with Aubrey, and he has to wait until 5:30 to spend time with her. 

 

 

I realize I'm rambling here, and honestly that's probably sleep deprivation.  But suffice it to say I'm totally bummed.  We miss you, T, and can't wait for you to come home!