A Letter to My Daughter from a New Dad on His First Father’s
Day
Dear Aubrey,
I am writing this letter to you one day shy of you turning 4
months old and three days shy of my first Father’s Day as a father. I never
really knew what it meant to be a father until now. You have changed my world
and my life, all for the better. I love you more than anything in this world
(besides your mother). I wanted to tell you how you have changed me and made me
better.
I will never forget the day Mommy and I found out we were
going to have you. I was so happy, scared, excited, ready, and unprepared all
at the same time. I never really thought I would be a Daddy before then, but
that day changed my life forever. I had no idea how much my life was about to
change. Your Mommy was special in that she was a high risk pregnancy because of
her heart condition. My job was to take good care of her and of you while you
were inside her. We didn’t know you were a girl until about halfway through the
pregnancy. I always suspected it, though. I had a hunch that I would have a
little girl someday, and that someday was about to arrive. I remember hearing
your heartbeat for the very first time. It was one of the most beautiful sounds
I have ever heard, although I was about to hear the most beautiful sound soon.
Mommy and I had our scares but you always managed to pass all your tests just
fine, with flying colors. As you got bigger, I would put my hand on Mommy’s
tummy and read books to you. You must have liked that because you always seemed
to kick and move when I did that. It made me happy every time I got to feel you
move and kick. I could not wait to meet you.
February 15, 2012. That is a day I will never forget and was
the second happiest day of my life. That is the day you arrived into our world.
Mommy and I woke up that morning and we were very excited to meet you in just a
few short hours. We packed our clothes and the car with all of the stuff we
needed for you. I remember looking around the house before we left and thinking
to myself, “We are leaving as two people but the next time we come home, there
will be three of us.” We got to the hospital and the nurse began to prep Mommy.
Both Mommy and Daddy were nervous, but oddly calm. I was ready to finally meet
my little girl. I could not wait to hold you, hug you, kiss you, and love you.
Soon it was time. Mommy had to go back to the operating room without me, at
first, to get the anesthesia. I was really nervous and the half hour it took to
prep Mommy seemed like forever to me. Finally, the medical student came to get
me. I went into the room and saw Mommy on the table. The doctor was ready to
bring you into our world. I could not wait. After about 15 minutes or so, you
were born! The doctor said, “Hey, she kicked me!” when he got you out of Mommy.
You were a fighter from the start!
Then, I heard it. The most beautiful sound I will ever hear.
Your voice. You were crying and that cry is the single most beautiful sound I
have ever heard! You made it! After about 5 minutes, the nurses brought you
over to me. They asked me, “Do you want to hold your daughter?” Of course, I
said, “Yes!” immediately! They put you in my arms and I held you for the very
first time. Thankfully, one of the doctors was able to capture this moment
forever in a picture. This is hands down, my favorite picture. It is the moment
I first held you, first saw you, first hugged you, and first introduced myself
to you. There is no way to describe the joy I felt right at this moment. I was
the happiest person alive and I could not be more proud to be holding my little
girl.
I have never believed in love at first sight. Even the first
time I met Mommy, I didn’t feel love. Don’t get me wrong, I really liked her,
but it took time for me to love her. But, there is no question that I loved you
at first sight. I knew the second the nurse put you in my arms that I loved you
and that I was always going to be there for you. I would and will do anything
for you. I then introduced you to Mommy. She cried when she first saw you and I
know she felt the same love I felt. She told me how beautiful you were. I
didn’t want to let go, but the nurse had to take you back to do all kinds of
stuff to you. I almost didn’t let go, but I knew they needed to do that stuff
to keep you healthy.
After the surgery, I stayed with you and Mommy the entire
time you were in the hospital. That was three long days. The first night, Mommy
really couldn’t get out of bed or do much because of the surgery. So, I took
care of you. I had no idea what I was doing, but something just kicked in for
me. It was like instinct had taken over and I just did what I needed to do.
Whether it was feeding you, changing you, wrapping you up, or just holding you.
I did it because I loved you. I knew you were mine. We finally went home three
days later. I will not forget that first car ride with you in the back seat. I
was driving so carefully. I was going slow and avoiding every bump. I wanted to
make sure you were safe. We brought you home and I showed you around the house.
You seemed to like it, but you were also hungry and tired. It was an adventure
when we first brought you home, but it is one I would certainly take all over
again. See, Daddy likes to figure out how things work and you were something
new. I wanted to figure out how you work.
Mommy and I have learned a lot along the way. We went from
guessing at everything to knowing your cries and what you need. You are only
four months old, and already I have watched you grow from this tiny newborn
into a beautiful, healthy little girl. You have taught me so much along the
way. You have taught me what it really means to be a father. These are the
promises I make to you as your father….
1. I
will always be there for you, no matter what.
2. I
will always love you, unconditionally, and without hesitation. (Even if you say
you hate me when you are a teenager, and believe me, you will say that).
3. I
will do my best to protect you from evil. I will teach you that good always
wins.
4. I
will make sure you have the best shot at an education and help you learn as
much as you can. (Hint: You can never learn too much.)
5. I
will show you how, by example, a good man treats a woman by the way I treat
your Mom.
6. That
I will always have your best interest at heart.
7. I
promise to let you spread your wings and learn to fly. It may be hard on me to
let you gain independence, but it is one of the most important things I can do
for you.
8. I
promise to always know when to give you a hug. That promise sticks when you are
an adult, too, you know…
9. I
will make sure you know that you can do whatever you want to do and be whatever
you want to be. There is nothing you can’t do and I want to make sure you know
that anyone who tells you there is, is flat out wrong.
10. I
promise that no matter how much someone breaks your heart; you will not die of
sadness. You may think that at the time, but trust me; you will move on and
become stronger for it.
11. I
promise to teach you how to grow into a strong woman. Mommy is a great example
and I encourage you to be like her.
12. I
promise that I will try my best to not get mad at you, but rather, to turn
something you may have done wrong into a moment to teach you the right way.
13. I
promise to always make you go to church. There will be times where you don’t
like it, don’t see it as cool, don’t understand why you need to go, and think
it is stupid. But trust me; someday you will understand why I made you go every
week.
14. I
promise to let you explore. Explore everything and anything you want…
15. I
promise to keep you safe.
16. I
promise that no matter how down and out you may seem to be, that I will show
you a glimmer of light and hope.
17. I
promise to let you have fun and play and be a kid.
18. I
promise to let you have ice cream and pizza if Mommy is away for an evening…
19. I
promise that no matter what, Mommy and I will always love each other because
our love is very important for you to know.
20. And
finally, I promise that when I am gone, you will still feel my love and know
that I am watching over you, always.
Aubrey, I love you. You are the best part of me and Mommy
and without you, our family would be incomplete. I feel like I have known you
my entire life, even though I have only known you for four short months. I
can’t wait to see the person into which you will grow…
Love,
T (Always your Daddy)
Aubrey's got a great dad...
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