Tuesday, September 11, 2012

The tough guy

This week started off a little stressful, I will admit.  I'm struggling.  This week more than ever I'm facing the tough fact - being the boss?  Well, it can kind of suck at times. 
I have Michael Scott syndrome.  I go back and forth between wanting to be that tough boss to wanting to be everyone's friend.  I'm a people pleaser, and when I think someone doesn't like me or isn't happy about something I've had to do, I freak out.  I start to worry.  I make myself sick with worry.  I start questioning my judgment.  I do pretty much everything in my power to make myself feel awful about having to do something that I have to do as a boss. 
I hate it.  Not being the boss, but being the boss when things aren't all rosy and happy. 
Why can't things be all peachy all the time and everyone like me? 
Because they can't.  So I guess I just have to suck it up and deal with it.  But I'm totally not good at that with thinking "it doesn't matter what people think of me.  I have to be the boss."  Or should I just worry constantly? 
Hmm...I wonder which one of these things will be worse for me? 
The funny thing...well not so funny, is that Nain is feeling the health effects of stress.  It's not pretty, and I'm pretty ticked about it but I guess I have no one to blame but myself.  Not only is my blood pressure high, and not only do I have chronic heart burn...but now I have TMJ.  From stress.  TMJ?  Seriously?  So maybe, just maybe I should let this go. 
If only it were that easy. 
So I'm open to suggestions....anyone?


  1. Oh I wish I had words of wisdom for you. I'm not a huge people pleaser because I do reach a point of saying "screw it". But I do understand the desire not to have people upset with you.

    I don't know what to tell you about your blood pressure because you exercise and that causes endorphins to release that are supposed to help your blood pressure. I can say that one thing that helps me, literally in the moment is to whisper the Jesus Prayer. It is a physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual exercise that truly has a calming effect. Many *logical* people will say it is because of the breathing you do with it, but personally I think it goes much deeper. Sometimes I have to do it several times to reach a point of calm.

    Whatever you do, remember that your body is going to want to return to homeostasis; because of years of training it to accept stress its point of homeostasis is stress. Now you need to teach a new normal.

    I'm praying for you. Just remember, one breath, one step, one day, at a time.


  2. I wish I too had words of wisdom as a manager to help you cope. But the truth is if everyone likes you and is your friend, then you're probably not doing your job. I have come to the conclusion I don't need everyone to like me I just need them to respect me. So I try to go from that angle. Those that do like me won't respect me if I'm soft on the slackers or give too many chances. Those that don't like me won't respect me if I let then get away with everything all the time. It's probably easier for me bc it just coffee. Not life or death! I also come from a place of I don't punish people I merely hand out consequences for their decisions. Lastly like I tell my employees you choose how your day will be. Either you are going to e in a good mood or a bad mood. If you are looking at everything from a negative perspective than the day will certainly be negative. It is so hard on those days when everything goes wrong and I just can't stand to be around anyone. That's usually when I wash dishes or take out some trash. Everyone knows when I wash dishes to just leave me a line an allow me k have my solitary moment! Hang in there it doesn't get easier but you get used to it.

  3. In the work environment, respect trumps friendship every time.


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