Thursday, May 23, 2013


I consider myself to be a fairly tolerant person.  I am open-minded.  I'm one of those unique people out there who are considered liberal-Catholics.  I have my faith, which is so important to who I am, but at the same time, I'm financially liberal (hello, working in a legal services agencies kind of makes that a given, right?), and I may offend several of you out but I am pro-gay marriage and pro-choice.  Now would I choose to have an abortion.  No, not at all.  But I don't judge.  I'm happy to listen to your viewpoints and consider them.  Do I need to agree with them?  No, not really, but I don't judge because of them.
Anyway, that's not the point of this post.  The point I'm trying to make here is I try my very best to be open-minded.  My friends come from all walks of life, and they all have a variety of opinions and views on life and what is important to them.  And I love that.  I respect that.  I have several friends who are atheists and are so openly.  They respect my lifestyle and view points, and I don't ever give them any level of disrespect for that.  Do I agree with their views?  No, but who I am I to judge?  Who am I to push my views off on them?  There is only one person who I need to judge, and that is myself and the person I am, the way I treat others. 
So I do get a little tired when I see people out there lumping those of us who would fall in a certain category and outwardly bashing the way we live and believe.  It's all part and parcel of free speech, and as a lawyer, I respect that, too.  You are allowed to your views, and you are allowed to express them.  I just don't appreciate being judged.  I don't appreciate being judged for being spiritual by those who aren't.  I don't appreciate being judged because I'm Catholic by those who aren't and those who have misunderstandings or lack of knowledge of what being Catholic really means.  I grow tired of being judged for being a Democrat and being labeled as "liberal" as if it's some awful thing.  I grow tired of being told I'm going to hell because I'm pro-choice.  Or for the fact that two of my closest friends are lesbians, and I recently went to their wedding.  I grow tired of being judged for the fact that T and I chose to live in the suburbs.  I grow tired of being judged because I chose to formula feed her and I don't make my own baby food.  I grow tired of being judged for being a working mother and sending my child to daycare.  I grow tired of being judged for the fact that we are choosing to send Aubrey to Catholic school instead of public.  I grow tired of being judged for the fact that I chose a legal career that doesn't involve climbing to the top and getting rich.  I could go on and on. 
I say this in response for a little Facebook spat I got into with a "Facebook friend" and his friend.  These two are adamantly against living in the suburbs, and the term "dipshit suburbanite" was thrown out.  Against my better judgment, I chose to defend those of us who are these "dipshit suburbanites."  And I got a "hey, chill man, I wasn't calling all of you that" as if I were overreacting.  It's what I get.  I should just hit "ignore" or "hide," which is what I usually do when I see some post from someone being intolerant or name-calling for other's viewpoints.  I have very little patience for that.  You can express your opinions, it's a free country, but your viewpoints sound much more educated if you leave out the overt judgments and name-calling.  Honestly, this is one of the things I truly cannot stand about Facebook.  I so looked forward to the end of the election season for this reason.  And then the Pope conclave...geez, people had a problem with it.  Well, it's not your religion, and the Pope really doesn't affect you so calm down.  But I digress...
I'm writing this post after just getting into this little stupid confrontation so I'm a little heated.  But I do get tired.  Tired of the judgment.  I am all of the above things I stated, which I could restate but choose not to.  It all makes up who Nain is.  I don't need to be around people who are just like me.  God, that would be boring.  Everyone is different.  Do T and I have the same views on each and everything?  No.  That's not what I want.  All I ask is for tolerance and a little civility.  Stop the judgment and just let people be. 
Don't be hatin'.  "Ain't nobody got time for that."


  1. I am sorry that you got into a spat with someone who then chose to belittle you by lying ("hey chill man, I wasn't calling all of you that."). I will admit I am opinionated, sometimes fiercely so. I realize that I occasionally offend people which is inevitable because not everyone will share my opinion.

    One thing I learned a LONG time ago is that no matter what I do or how I live someone is going to judge me. I am not responsible for their opinion of me. If they choose to judge me harshly then I say, "please move along, I don't need you in my life. I am hard enough on myself."

    I think you're doing just fine.

    Lily-thinking thoughts

  2. Preaching that to Facebook will only get you frustrated...

  3. Damn Facebook man... doesn't do anyone any good!


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