Monday, August 19, 2013

Guilt mama

I have a problem.  Guilt.  I feel guilty about everything.  Come on...I know none of you are surprised, right?  Anyway this weekend was no exception. 
So T and I had a date night, and our regular babysitter came to watch Aubrey.  I love this girl...she is so great with Aubrey and is so professional.  Before we left, Aubrey was doing pretty much okay, but a little stuffy and coughing.  But I didn't think anything of it.  Anyway, T and I left and headed to a local wine, art, music and micro brew festival.  It was a ton of fun, and we may (may) have had a few too many drinks.  I mean, I was feeling pretty good.  I guess when you get to escape that's what you do?  Anyway so we headed back home, and the poor sitter was anxiously waiting for us.  I guess Aubrey was pretty fussy for her and had a rough night.  She pulled the "throwing a fit at bath time" thing, but this time she did it for the sitter.  I felt awful about that and kept apologizing, even though the sitter said if she got an email from me later apologizing, she'd delete it  She assured us that she would for sure come back.  But I felt awful.
Then I started feeling bad because I was pretty drunk.  So I starting thinking "oh crap, what if she noticed?  Did she judge us?"  So I felt awful about that.  Guilt, guilt, guilt.
And I did end up writing her an email apologizing.  I reread it the next morning, and it totally sounded fine and not like some drunken person rambling.  Of course, this is Sunday afternoon as I'm writing this, and I'm worried because she hasn't written back.  Dammit, Alaina, stop.  And I'm not even sure that would make me feel better. 
Guilt, guilt, guilt. 

That and I think I might abstain from the wine for just a little bit...


  1. My gut instinct is that you had nothing to feel guilty about, but I know I would feel guilty too. It's a mom thing, the guilt just comes when we look less than perfect--or our kids act less than perfect for other people. Things will be fine.

  2. A little guilt is fine- it keeps ya honest. But, pete's sake, don't let it kick yer ass! At a certain point, you say, "ALRIGHT!! ENOUGH!!" and move on.

  3. Oh friend, I'm sorry! Try not to feel guilty, but I know how hard that is!


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