This week’s Spin Cycle, brought to you by Sprite's Keeper, is on respect. R-E-S-P-E-C-T. So I have to ask myself….what does that mean to me?
Respect is huge for me. I expect it at work, I expect it at home, and I try my hardest to treat others with equal respect that they deserve. It’s simply how I was raised. Growing up in the south you were trained to treat others, especially those older than you, with respect. You referred to any adult as “Sir” and “Ma’am.” Of course, when we moved up here when I was in 4th grade, I got made fun of for being so polite. (Kids can be so mean.)
Now that I am in the professional arena and work daily with a number of different attorneys and judges in the court system, I try to use that same mindset as an attorney. One of the things I absolutely cannot stand is when people in my profession do not treat others with respect and walk all over people to get what they want. There’s a lot to be said about civility and respect, and I’m of the school of thought that you don’t need to be rude, pushy or loud to get what you want. You can stand your ground when you feel its needed and respond accordingly, but you should always treat others with respect if you want it given to you in return.
Sadly, not too many of my colleagues do this. It’s really how attorneys get the bad reputation that we do. If you are a pit bull in the courtroom, you’ll win cases. Or you won’t get clients by being a nice person. While, yes, some people do pay for certain attorneys because they’ve heard that they can really fight to the death in all of their cases and that they basically scare others into settling cases with them, I tend to think that only goes so far. Have I put a parent on the stand and been tough with them to get them to admit some of the bad things they have done? Yes. Have I been known to lose my patience every now and then? Yes. But do I ever raise my voice in the courtroom or lose my cool? Do I ever disrespect them regardless of what they've done? Never. Sure, in my head I might, but how is that going to win me respect in the eyes of my fellow attorneys I’m working with or the judge on my case? I certainly don’t want to be one of those attorneys where whenever a judge sees that I’m on the case, they dread it being called in.
I feel lucky that I was given the upbringing that I was in that I treat others with respect, always act with kindness, with a please and a thank you, and never look down on others just because I can. Not everyone has been as lucky as I have to be brought up with such great parents and a good moral background. I hope someday to instill those same values in my own children and lead them down the right path. Because the old adage really is true…you get what you give.
Respect is huge for me. I expect it at work, I expect it at home, and I try my hardest to treat others with equal respect that they deserve. It’s simply how I was raised. Growing up in the south you were trained to treat others, especially those older than you, with respect. You referred to any adult as “Sir” and “Ma’am.” Of course, when we moved up here when I was in 4th grade, I got made fun of for being so polite. (Kids can be so mean.)
Now that I am in the professional arena and work daily with a number of different attorneys and judges in the court system, I try to use that same mindset as an attorney. One of the things I absolutely cannot stand is when people in my profession do not treat others with respect and walk all over people to get what they want. There’s a lot to be said about civility and respect, and I’m of the school of thought that you don’t need to be rude, pushy or loud to get what you want. You can stand your ground when you feel its needed and respond accordingly, but you should always treat others with respect if you want it given to you in return.
Sadly, not too many of my colleagues do this. It’s really how attorneys get the bad reputation that we do. If you are a pit bull in the courtroom, you’ll win cases. Or you won’t get clients by being a nice person. While, yes, some people do pay for certain attorneys because they’ve heard that they can really fight to the death in all of their cases and that they basically scare others into settling cases with them, I tend to think that only goes so far. Have I put a parent on the stand and been tough with them to get them to admit some of the bad things they have done? Yes. Have I been known to lose my patience every now and then? Yes. But do I ever raise my voice in the courtroom or lose my cool? Do I ever disrespect them regardless of what they've done? Never. Sure, in my head I might, but how is that going to win me respect in the eyes of my fellow attorneys I’m working with or the judge on my case? I certainly don’t want to be one of those attorneys where whenever a judge sees that I’m on the case, they dread it being called in.
I feel lucky that I was given the upbringing that I was in that I treat others with respect, always act with kindness, with a please and a thank you, and never look down on others just because I can. Not everyone has been as lucky as I have to be brought up with such great parents and a good moral background. I hope someday to instill those same values in my own children and lead them down the right path. Because the old adage really is true…you get what you give.
I too am old school as far as respect and treatment. All of my children were taught manners and though they get teased by their friends for being so polite, the teachers think highly of them for the very same thing.
ReplyDeleteAmen! I was always told to respect my elders and say "ma'am" and "sir". These days, I still feel strange when having my daughter address someone as "Ms. Nicole" or "Ms. Carrie" when last names were still so prevalent in my day. Oy.
ReplyDeleteYou're linked!
Now I'm going to have that song stuck in my head all day!
ReplyDeleteYou are right. But sometimes you give and don't get the same from others...
ReplyDeleteIt's so interesting to know more about your job!
I always think it must be so difficult! I couldn't do it.
It's always tough to continue giving respect when you don't get it back - and sometimes you shouldn't, but for the most part, I think continuing to show respect with colleagues is good. Mutter and grumble under your breath and at home, but respect their position. If you get really lucky, they might grudgingly start to return it.
ReplyDeleteThis is brilliant. You said everything perfectly. I think it shows great strength of your character that you can treat others with respect even when they don't always deserve it, or return the favor. That is awesome. And I love that you were raised to say Sir and Ma'am. I want to teach my kids that even though I wasn't raised that way.
ReplyDeleteYou're awesome.
Amen! I was raised to respect others, particularly my elders. And I love that in your head you might raise your voice during certain situations like in court, but don't do actually do it out loud. I'm the same way! :)
ReplyDeleteSpinning Up Some Respect