When you know you’ve lost it…

I’ve said it once, but I think it needs to be said again, with all the stress of wedding planning I have officially started to lose it. The thing with me that you have to understand is that my mind is constantly going, a lot like a hamster running on one of those wheels. I will start thinking about one thing, then that thought goes to another and another until there is no semblance of the original thought and I’m totally freaked out about something unrelated.

This last weekend T and I both had the plan to catch up on our sleep. With everything going on, this hasn’t been easy. Seeing as it was a long weekend, I thought “whoo-hoo! Three mornings to sleep in! Yes!” However, my mind and my body had something else in store for me. I did manage to sleep in Saturday and somewhat on Sunday, but Monday, not so much. I woke up sometime around 6:30, which is natural considering it’s the normal time for me to get up for work anyway. However, instead of falling back to sleep, I lay there awake – thinking, thinking about the wedding, thinking about my list of things to do before the wedding, thinking about everything that we need to do before leaving for Ireland, thinking about the fact that I need to set my DVR to make sure that all of the season premieres we will be missing while overseas are recorded, to thinking about Dancing With the Stars.

I love this show. I am sad I’ll miss the first two episodes, but as soon as we get back, I’m watching the recorded ones before the next new episode. I’m such a fan that I’m a “fan” of the show on Facebook, and the other day, when they posted the new cast pictures of which star was paired with which partner, I noticed that one particular star was missing: The Situation. So, there I am, at 6:30 in the morning, laying there thinking “who is The Situation paired with? Which professional dancer was missing from those photos? Did he quit the show?” All sorts of thoughts were running through my head that made no sense whatsoever. By the time I had laid there for an hour, I thought that maybe I should get up and head to the living room so as to let T sleep in peace.

So I headed out to the living room, having gotten maybe 4 hours of sleep max that night, and started watching DVR episodes of Chelsea Lately. After watching about 4-5 episodes of that, T emerges from the bedroom around asking how long I had been up. When I tell him I couldn’t sleep at all, he asks if I was worrying about the wedding, so I tell him yes, I was worrying about the wedding and packing and The Situation. He looks at me like I’m crazy so I try to explain that I was deeply concerned about whether The Situation was going to still be on the show. His picture wasn’t on the Facebook page, so I was curious what that meant. At this point, T’s laughing at me and shaking his head. To answer my question, he Googles The Situation and Dancing with the Stars to show that he is paired with Karina Smirnoff. Whew, that question was answered. Now I can rest easy.

I think I’ve hit my wall here. I’ve now created things to worry about.