I'm struggling with something, my loyal readers. (So, if you couldn't tell already, this might be a serious post.) Over the past week I've realized something. I can't do it all. I just can't. I like to think that I'm Wonder Woman and that I can do everything I want to do and succeed at everything I try, but....there just isn't enough Nain to spread around. (Ha, that kind of sounds wrong, doesn't it?) Plus, I don't have the invisible plane and all....
I'm speaking more specifically with respect to my personal life. One of the great things about 2010 was that I went back to my passions, the things I love to do. This included writing, as well as music. For those of you who aren't aware, I played the viola for about seven years in junior high and high school. I kept my instrument but didn't play it for about ten years until just last year. T persuaded me to take lessons through a local music store, and I started those around June of last year. I do thoroughly enjoy them, but now, I'm wondering if I have enough time to dedicate to both my writing and my playing the viola.
I haven't had lessons due to the holidays for about two weeks, and I'm ashamed to admit that I haven't picked up the instrument once to practice during that time. I've ran into this problem more than a few times during the end of last year, and I would go to lessons having not practiced at all for that particuar week. And for those of you who play instruments, you know that if you want to improve and actually get somewhere with your music - you have to practice, practice, practice. Quite frankly, I'm not doing that, so I have to wonder, what do I want to get out of taking lessons?
The same goes with respect to writing. If you want to succeed at writing you have to read, write, read, write, and write some more. The wedding distracted me from that, and then just plain laziness distracted me for the rest of last year. And one of my resolutions is to finish my book and really get back into my writing. If I want to really pursue this, I need to put my whole heart and mind into it, and I really want to do just that.
This past week, I realized how far behind I had fallen in my critiques for my critique group, so I was sitting there at 8:30 at night feverishly trying to get through one of them, when it hit me: what about
my writing? When was I supposed to do this? Here I am, trying to do all of these things in my spare time, and suddenly there isn't enough spare time to finish everything or at least dedicate myself to all of them. I was totally half-assing everything or in a less crude way, spreading myself too thin.
So this brings me to my current dilemma. Something has to go. It just has to, and I don't want to have to make that decision...but I don't think I have a choice about it. In listing the activities I have and the things I truly want to accomplish, I'm afraid the viola has to be put on hold for now. If I had to compare my writing and music, the difference between the two is I don't want to make a living as a musician. I do want to really go somewhere with writing. So what do I do?
I just don't want to completely give it up. I hope that even if I do put my lessons on hold for now, I can still play the music I do have when I have the time. My only concern is that it will fall by the wayside along with the other hobbies I have had...I haven't made a decision yet, but I am seriously leaning in this direction.
So I post this question to all of you readers out there - how do
you prioritize? Is it something with which you struggle? Have you had to let something go in order to focus on something else more?
AND....for some lighter reading...check out my new post at Skirt!
http://skirt.com/viewfromnain/blog/confession-i-didnt-enjoy-wedding-planning