I'm going to talk about a little bit of a controversial topic today...no, not politics. Nope, not religion. Or Charlie Sheen (though I could say a lot about that one). No - dating. And cheating. See, something has been on my mind lately, as someone I love is going through this and I have in the past. What constitutes cheating?
The conundrum: If your significant other creates an online dating profile while you are still with that person, does that constitute cheating?
Some would argue that no, it doesn't cross that line. It's like going to a bar and seeing what's out there but not picking anyone up. Looking but not touching. But that's where I tend to disagree...
I found myself in a similar situation in a relationship before I met Tim. I discovered that my current boyfriend at the time was trolling for girls on Match.com for months. When confronted with the situation, I was told that he didn't consider it cheating and that he was just bored one night and looked around. Of course, I found an email from someone who was just around at the time he happened to be "bored" so...that was icing on the cake, but to me, that was considered cheating.
Flash forward to my friend's current situation...she was in a relationship with this guy. Guy broke up with her. She does what many of us do (I, too, am guilty of this) and does an Internet search of said guy to see whether he was up to any funny business (you know, self torture?), and what do you know? He's been on an online dating site! And recently, too! Said friend is crushed and feels betrayed, and I feel rightfully so.
It seems to me that this is a more and more common occurrence. Now I have told all of you how I met T, and it was an online dating site called Catholicmatch.com. Having come directly from a relationship where the person cheated on me by "online dating," I was hesitant. I feared for the longest time that he would still be online looking, seeing if there was something better out there. Of course, my fears were unfounded, but it's truly sad how many people do continue to "look" even though they are in a relationship. So is that cheating?
It's kind of scary if you think about it - when you go on an online dating site, most people are really looking to find a relationship. And if there are people out there just looking to find someone else besides their significant other, how horrible is that for a) the significant other of that person and b) the person who thinks they just found Mr. or Mrs. Right? Who can you trust?
To me, the second your mind strays from being loyal in any way and you start actively looking for something else, that is cheating. When I'm with someone - that's it. I don't even flinch at another guy. The thought never crosses my mind. So I find it incomprehensible personally, but I don't want to judge. But to me, even if you never "act" (meaning, meet the person or do anything with them), it's still cheating. It's definitely emotional cheating, in my mind. But I know there are some people out there who would disagree. So I put it out to you my blog friends - what are your thoughts? Cheating or not cheating? And is emotional cheating as bad as the act of physically cheating?