Thursday, August 11, 2011

All by myself

Next week, it's T's turn for a little road trip for work...well, not a "little" trip.  He's going clear across the country to Death Valley, CA.  Me, I'm not too thrilled about my husband going anywhere that has the word "death" in the title of its city.  But...whatever.  So that'll leave me all by my lonesome. And I'd be lying if I didn't say the thought of this doesn't have me a little freaked out. 

It isn't to say that I'm not independent and can't survive on my own for six days.  Because I can.  Hell, I lived on my own for years before T came along.  Of course, I lived in one or two bedroom apartments on my own, not two story houses.  There's something kind of creepy being in a big house by yourself at night.  (Or is it just me?)

And during those years when I lived on my own and was by myself pretty much 80 percent of the time, I was used to that.  It was my normal.  But that's not my normal anymore.  I'm used to waking up next to the same person every day, coming home to  him at the end of a long day, relaxing together before we go to bed.  My normal changed a LONG time ago, and now the thought of being alone for an entire week while he's on a work trip just makes me feel....lonely.  And totally dreading next week. 

I have to admit...I have this small irrational fear (well, not necessarily small, and honestly, probably not irrational) that something bad will happen when T is gone.  The bad thing I'm worried about?  My grandpa.   I know we're going on a week by week basis right now, and I can't expect T to not do his job just on the off chance something could happen while he's gone, but I am convinced that something will.  Unfortunately, that's just the way things somehow work out in my life.  But I have been promised that he will be on the first plane home if something does happen.  I just pray nothing does. 

So my plan for next week?  Keep busy.  I have decided that next week is my writing week.  I have about 5 critiques to do, and I haven't written anything in my manuscript in months.  So, why not take this time and make the most of it?  And try to avoid the fact that I'm incredibly lonely and miss T? 

I have a feeling this will be my motivation for Motivation Monday next week...let's keep focused, Nain!



  1. I know what you're talking about. I hate being alone at night. (To be honest for me it doesn't matter how big or small my house is, I hate being alone at night ha!)

    I will be praying that your grandpa makes it through the week that T is gone. I will also pray that your week is completely, boringly, uneventful.


  2. I hate when MB is gone... I always feel like I have to keep it together when he's around so when he's not here, it seems like I fall apart.

    We can have skype dates next week if you'd like!

  3. Definitely stay busy! It'll hopefully keep your mind off the what if's.


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