Friday, March 29, 2013

Hello, Easter Bunny!

It's Aubrey's 2nd Easter.  Hard to believe, isn't it?  So that got me thinking about how much things have changed since last year.  Because last year...this is life was with Miss Aubrey:

I love that dress, but I remember how much she hated those tights.  But she couldn't even sit up for a picture, so I propped the poor kid up next to her Easter basket for a photo opportunity.  I somehow don't think it'll be so easy to get her to sit still this year.  And I don't think I'll be using the Easter grass for her basket.  That would quickly become something for her to eat.  Last year's Easter basket was more so for me, though, than anything.  This year's?  I got her a thing of "Puffs" snack, Sesame Street toys, and some books.  So I think this year she may appreciate the little gifts brought by the Easter bunny more so than last year. 

This is us after mass on Easter Sunday last year.  Aubrey was such a good girl and slept through the entire mass.  We got to sit in the church itself and attend mass.  This year?  We'll be fighting a one year old who wants to crawl all over the place while sitting in the narthex just outside our church.  It's simply not worth the fight.  Oh changes....


Look how tiny she was!  And the jeggings!  Oh, I loved the jeggings!  This outfit was put on after she decided to pee all over her tights and dress.  So I guess she won in the end, but look at those little feet.  I miss those snugly days.  But I also like sleeping.  So I'm not sure I'd want to go back to that.  Oh and look, Mommy got to wear jewelry!  That is something I no longer do, as little Miss Perceptive will spot it in a heartbeat and it will quickly be pulled and broken.  This year we got her a more comfortable dress, one that can be worn as a play dress this summer.  So hopefully there will be non incidents of peeing.  And the dress will be coming off at meal time. 
So this Easter weekend, we will be hanging out at home today as T and I both have the day off, running an Easter Bunny Rock 5k Saturday morning, and then going to early mass and heading up to spend the day with my folks on Easter.  Aubrey loves playing with her cousins now that she is more aware.  So maybe Mommy can get a bit of a break :-)  It should be a fun weekend.  I hope everyone has the same.  Have a blessed and very Happy Easter!

Thursday, March 28, 2013


I promise to stop being too serious in future posts, but I have to get this one out today...just one more :-)
Each morning I get inspirational Bible verses emailed to me through a program I'm on.  And today's it was this:
Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you.
~ 1 Peter 5:7
Ironic, especially considering what I wrote yesterday. 
Right now T and I have a lot of personal and work stuff going on, and it's weighing both of us down a great deal.  And despite my post yesterday, I continue to fret and let everything weigh me down even more.  It was almost as if God was reminding me - "Hey, stop it!  Practice what you preach, lady!" 
SO...okay, okay, I get the point.  I need to stop worrying.  One way or another it will work out just the way it is meant to be.  I just wish 1) things would happen on my schedule (ha, I know, not gonna happen) and 2) it didn't suck so much in the process of waiting for something to happen.  I wrote in my journal yesterday that I just needed something, just some kind of sign yesterday that things were going to get better.  I'm looking for that sign, but who knows, I may have already gotten it?  Maybe it was in the form of the Applebee's cooks screwing up our lunch yesterday and getting our lunch completely free.  Maybe it was that?  Not sure if God works through Applebee's, though. 
So for those of you are spiritual and pray, please say a little one.  Because it's not really for me, but for T.  I want things to get better for him more than anything in the world.  Because he's the one person who I think deserves something great to happen to him.  Aside from me and Aubrey, of course.  Because, let's face it, we're the best damn thing that has happened to him.  But in addition to that.  He deserves a break, just this once.  I'd be willing to deal with my stressors just a little longer if it meant he could have some relief.  In fact, I'm totally cool with that.  I can handle it.  I'm strong, like a mule.  And stubborn like one, too.  In my Love Dare the other day it talked about spirituality in marriage and how sometimes one spouse carries the other and prays for the other, albeit not easy.  And I feel like last year, T did that for me in spades.  So this time it is my turn.  So bring it on. 
Anyway, that's enough deep stuff for today...
The Hoosier are in the Sweet 16, people!  Why, oh why, do they have to play the game at 9:45 p.m., though?  This narcoleptic Nancy has a hard enough time staying awake past 10:00 p.m.  I need to cheer on my Hoosiers.
Speaking of Hoosiers, Aubrey and I did have a battle of the wills last Friday.  I came home early with her to watch the Hoosiers play at 4:00-ish.  I turned on the TV, and she assumed I would be turning on Sesame Street.  So a tantrum soon followed.  But I didn't back down.  (Stubborn, the both of us are).  She cried, and I continued to watch my Hoosiers.  Sorry, kid, but March Madness trumps Cookie Monster.  And cry all you want, I prefer to watch the game without the sound anyway.  So I kept the game on until the end, and yes, I did turn on a Sesame after the two hour game was over.  But I like to think I won. 
Okay, time to end the serious, rambling post.  But go Hoosiers!  Kick some Syracuse butt!

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

The Things I Keep Doing

Second Blooming
So this week's Spin Cycle brought to you by Gretchen at Second Blooming is on"Things I Keep Doing," basically things that I have no idea why I keep doing them, haven't really brought fruitful results before but yet I keep doing them.  I thought and thought about this one.  I could go for the random and cute, or I could talk about something that I've recently realized and have made a big change in my life because of it. 
Things I keep doing - or rather thing that I keep doing.  Trying to handle everything on my own. 

I've been known to do that.  I don't always speak up when I need help, but this whole handling everything on my own goes deeper than just saying "Hey, Mom, can you help?"  It's bigger than that. 

Before T and I got married, we both attended retreats at our church called Christ Renews His Parish.  Feeling renewed and energized from the weekend, T and I did quite well with going to church, praying and practicing our faith.  And it's not to say we still aren't doing that, but...going to church with a fussy one year old, I seldom walk out as inspired as I did pre-child.  (Nope, the church does not have a daycare, unfortunately).  And praying?  Saying a prayer before a meal while Play with me Sesame plays in the background isn't always conducive for good reflection. 

But all of these statements are excuses.  I've never been really good at this giving it to God thing.  I like to control it.  I will fix it, I will make it better, I will make it happen.  Until then, I will worry and stress and basically make myself sick with anxiety over it.  But it's my problem, so I'll keep it inside.  

Well, a few weeks ago I was at a dinner celebrating my completion of the MOMS ministry, and one of the ladies who had gone through before gave a talk about her faith.  And her story was just so powerful, and it just hit me.  Listening to her, I had this realization, an epiphany, if you will.  I'm doing this all on my own.  T and I are carrying these burdens, these stressors, these weights on our lives and on our marriage, not including God.  He's watching us probably thinking "oh, you of little faith, why don't you let me carry some of that weight?"  We don't pray.  We don't include faith in our daily lives. 

So I walked away that night inspired.  T and I needed to bring ourselves back to where we were.  After all, when we took those vows two and a half years ago, we joined our lives with God in front of our family and friends.  So since then, I have made a point of praying daily, writing my reflections for the day in a journal and asking for God's guidance and assistance with all of the burdens I have in my life.  And thanking Him for my blessings each night. 

I wasn't walking away looking for a miracle.  I wasn't thinking "sure, if I start praying, good things will happen."  But what I can say is it has made a difference.  My heart is a little lighter.  And I don't feel so alone with the things that weigh me down. 

I just wonder why it took me so long to realize it, huh?  So that's it.  That's the thing I keep doing.  And here's hoping that I stop it.
Stop by Gretchen's and check out what other Spinners have to share!

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Oh dear...

I've had a suspicion all along, but I've been in denial.  But I think I need to just own up to it and admit it.  I am raising an engineer. 

My daughter doesn't just throw things around.  She examines, she's particular, she pays attention to all details around her.  She is, in effect, her father.  I watched her this weekend as she took each diaper out of her diaper bag in our living room, one by one, examining each and every one carefully as if she was some sort of quality testing engineer. 

I watch her in the bath tub as she takes each and every bath toy and delicately examines them and places them into the cup we use to rinse her hair.  She puts all the toys in there, takes them out one by one and then puts them back in, one by one. 

She examines the pages of each book when reading.  She flips through pages separately, as if she were reading and absorbing every picture. 

When at the doctor's office, she discovered that if she took the paper sheet that covers the table and pulled it, she could get things to come to her.  Like the doctor's stethoscope. 

She is her Dad.  She must figure out how things work.  She must examine things carefully.  I am raising an engineer.  Just like her Dad, just like two of her Great-Grandpas, her great-uncles...she has the engineering mind.  I think this will bring me trouble later in life. 

But, she's too cute.  I couldn't help but laugh as she took out each and every diaper, babbling to herself as she did it.  God, I love that girl.

Monday, March 25, 2013

Motivation Monday!

Motivation Monday

Happy Motivation Monday! So I find myself torn this week.  I did really well with the exercise this week, but the eating?  Not so much.  So I need to give myself a swift kiss in the ass. 

Perhaps I'm being entirely too hard.  I did get up at 7:30 a.m. on Saturday and ran 10 miles.  Ran/walked 10 miles.  So there was that.  T has a course through town that he does which is about a 3.5 mile loop.  Let me tell you, running alone and not in a race setting, meaning I had no adrenaline keeping me going and running the same loop three times in a row?  Not easy.  I'm not sure how much I ran or walked.  I think I ran quite a bit, but I'm not too proud to say I walked, as well.  But I didn't really care about that.  I just wanted to finish.  If I can do 10 miles, then I am not too far away from 13.1, right?   I did 10.1, and I didn't get the time exact but roughly ran a 12 minute mile give or take.  The last big ran for me is a 15k on April 6th.  Once I do that, it's just small runs until the big 13.1 on May 4th.  As I write this (Sunday), I'm pretty damn sore, but I really need to keep it up this week and make those small runs count because they do help with the whole strength-building thing. 

So yeah, anyway, I ran 10 miles...and then the family came into town Saturday.  And I ate like crap.  And then I went to a birthday party on Sunday and had more sweets.  And then weighed myself at possibly the worst time ever and noticed I gained 4 pounds.  And yeah, sure, I know weight fluctuates and weighing onself after dinner is a bad idea.  What...oh well. 

I ran 10 miles, though, so yay! 

So that's my motivation this week...what's yours?  If you're in the Midwest in this ridiculous winter wonderland that no one asked careful out there!

Friday, March 22, 2013

Right and wrong

Most of my television time is wrapped up in Sesame Street, so I have to admit that I'm not always up on news these days. I try watching The Today Show as we get ready, but honestly, after the first five minutes, nothing they really talk about I consider "news." But recently during a lunch break, I started reading up on the Steubenville rape story, the trial, what awful things transpired that night, even getting so far as finding a link to the texts sent between these boys who readily admit to each other that they took advantage and brutally raped an overly-intoxicated female that night. Someone's daughter, granddaughter, niece. Everything that happened that night, everything that was written through tweets, posted on YouTube by these boys is absolutely horrifying.
It's horrifying because I start to think back to my days in college. I know for certainty there were times when I was so intoxicated I could barely walk, talk, let alone make a rational decision for myself. Or defend myself. This happens all the time. It's the culture. You go to college and it's time to party, it's time to get wild. You think of yourself as invincible. Surely it couldn't happen to me. I mean, I know I was one of those kids. And it's stupid. You think it's harmless fun, but you push yourself to the limits, try to consume as much as you can. And for what? So many times I know that I put myself in a situation where this could have just as easily happened. I know so many friends of mine who did the same. I'd walk home alone, find myself at home in bed and not even realize how I got there. Have no memory of the night before. I consider myself to be one of the lucky ones. This victim was not.
It is absolutely disgusting the backlash that this case has caused. People writing that she was drunk, she put herself in this situation. It's not the first time we've heard it. Being in Indiana, I have heard it associated with the missing IU student, Lauren Spierer. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter how much the person drank, what illegal substances they took. It does not matter. Bad decisions to drink too much or experiment with drugs does not mean someone deserves what happened to them. An intoxicated person is in no state of mind to say yes or no. It's rape. Plain and simple. And it doesn't matter what the relationship is to the victim, whether you are friends, past boyfriend/girlfriend, current boyfriend/girlfrend. Or whether you think he or she would say yes if sober.  It doesn't matter how many times you've had consensual sex.  That one time where the person isn't able to consent or even be aware of what is going on?  That's rape.  It doesn't matter. If you know this person is impaired, drunk, high, unable to make an intelligible decision, and you take advantage of that person, it is rape.
I have to say, as a mother, the thought creeps into my mind...what about Aubrey when she is in high school or college? Will she make wise decisions? Will she succumb to pressure? Will she think people are her "friends" who do not have her best interests at heart? This girl who was raped was someone's child. I cannot even begin to imagine the pain the parents are going through. Part of the backlash, too, is "didn't her parents teach her better?" Yeah, well, I had great parents, a great childhood, grew up with great morals. But I still drank to rebel. I still did stupid things. But that doesn't make my parents bad parents; it doesn't make me a bad person either.
I'm rambling here, but I'm not sure if you can tell that this subject is one about which I feel very strongly. As Aubrey gets older, T and I will do our best to teach Aubrey to be safe, smart, and cautious. I will do my best to teach her and protect her, but nothing prevents a child's independence 100 percent.
These parents aren't to blame. This poor girl is not to blame. Under no circumstances does any of the blame rest anywhere but with these boys. Because it was rape. And it was wrong.
My prayers truly do go out to this girl and her family. And to the people out there who are a part of that backlash that their eyes are opened. Just like no means no. Not saying yes? Not being able to say yes? That means no, too.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Pleading insanity

Things have been particularly difficult with Aubrey lately.  Not awful or not something we can't manage, but she's definitely been pushing her limits a lot more, more fussy and very clingy to Mommy.  Needless to's wearing me thin.  As much as T and I look forward to our weekends and no matter how much we can't wait to spend time playing and snuggling our little girl, by the time Sunday night rolls around, I'm about to wave the white flag, curl up in the fetal position and just give up.  I all but did that the other night. 
I haven't had many moments like these.  I know there were a few when I was on maternity leave.  Once T called me to check in during the day when he was at work and I was at home, and Aubrey just wouldn't stop crying.  I was in tears, so he told me to just put her in her crib, close the door and walk away.  She screamed for like 30 minutes, as I sat crying in the other room.
On Tuesday, I knew she wasn't feeling right, and with this transition to dairy, she's had...well...a tough time going #2.  I could tell that was the case, and she was really fussy about it.  But it was a work day so we had to get going.  It's a 45 minute commute to where we work.  She cried.  The entire time.  I dropped T off at work which was about 20 minutes from the daycare, so right after I dropped her off, the crying quickly turned to screaming.  By the time I got to the daycare, she was a snotty, sweaty, crying mess.  She cried the entire time as I unbuckled her, carried her into the daycare, and walked her to her classroom.  By the time I walked into the room, both daycare teachers could tell something was off.  I just set my screaming child down and burst into tears.  She finally did end up going #2, painfully, and we did seem to calm her down.  I rocked her a little before I had to leave.  Poor girl works herself up so much when she cries that she just sweats so badly.  The teachers tried to reassure me that it was okay, understanding that it's hard, but I felt like a failure for not being strong.  And I was at my wits end. 
So now it has seemed to become a tradition for Aubrey.  She's all smiles at daycare but fusses the whole way home.  I get it.  I wouldn't want to be in the car seat either.  But she's comfy with her monkey, books, water...I have no idea what could be wrong.  And I cannot, absolutely cannot, get out of eyesight from her.  Or she'll just lose it.  I spend my mornings getting my makeup on and hair done with a 1 year old pulling my pants and trying to get my attention.  I know this is typical, but Mommy?  Well, she needs a break.  And honestly so does Daddy. 
So I have told T that he should go do guy stuff with my brother and friends on Saturday.  I told him this before my meltdown on Tuesday.  So I broke down and did it.  I asked for help.  I emailed my Mom and asked for her to come down and help.  I just need someone to entertain her for just a few hours so I can get a break. 
And I'm not venting and saying all this to say I'm not so very grateful for the blessing she is.  I wouldn't replace her for anything ever in this world.  The fun and beautiful moments we have with her are priceless.  So many moments.   But I think we're struggling with this new phase of hers.  And I kind of feel like I'm failing.
But I am blessed, and she's one amazing girl.  It's so hard to be frustrated when you see this little face:


Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Music speaks to my soul

Second Blooming

This week's Spin Cycle, brought to you by Gretchen at Second Blooming is on songs.  I thought I'd share with you a song that T passed along to me the other day that really speaks to me.  This is kind of what I'm going through right now.  I'm a person who tends to let other people deter me and tell me that I can't do something.  I'm facing quite a few challenges lately, so I have book marked this song on my work computer and make a point of listening to it every morning.  Or even more if I'm having one of "those" days.  So with here it is!

Stop by Gretchen's blog and see what songs other Spinners have to share.  And have a wonderful day!

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

An Irish feast!

So it's no secret that I'm Irish, I love my Guinness, and T and I love celebrating St. Patrick's Day.  So Sunday was definitely a much anticipated event in the Sullivan household.  However, you that we have the little one, our St. Patrick's Days have changed.  Maybe when she gets a little older, we'll start going to the parade again, but planning around her nap schedule does not make it an easy task.  So instead, I planned an Irish feast for us.  Shepherd's pie, soda bread, salad and Irish cream brownies.  And Guinness, of course.  I used the Irish cookbook we got in Ireland, and I'm pretty proud of how I did, I must say.
Friday, I made the soda bread.  From scratch, boom!  One thing about making bread?  Messy, very very messy, but the thing rose, it got all brown and smelled DElicious.  This is the best picture I had, with the plastic wrap.  Not something I'd post in some kind of cooking magazine, but it was really good.

Friday  night, I made the Irish cream brownies.  I put a little Baileys in the batter, and the icing?  Pretty much just cream cheese, powder sugar and Baileys.  Alcoholic icing.  Yum.  The icing job doesn't do it justice, but it was amazing.


Last, I made the Shepherd's pie.  Firs time using the broiler in our oven ever.  Isn't this a thing of beauty?

So here is our feast.  Notice the Guinness, of course.  That is THE only way to complete your Irish meal.  Actually if only I could have had some mushy peas...but that'll be a cooking experience for another year!

So yeah, it might not have been bar hopping...but we had a pretty good St. Patrick's Day, and who wouldn't?  Not with these Irish sweethearts! 

Monday, March 18, 2013

Motivation Monday!

Motivation Monday
Tired, I tell you, I'm tired! But ready for another week! (See, the exclamation mark? That means I'm faking enthusiasm. Go team!)
I need a weekend from my weekend. We had little miss one year old in a bad mood for most of the weekend. To those daycare teachers who watch her and say "oh she never fusses, only smiles!" B.S. Homegirl can cry, a lot. It's all an act, I tell you, an act.
But then can you resist this face (when she's not crying, of course). This was little miss waiting for our race to start on Saturday.

We were set to run the Shamrock 4 miler in downtown Indy. T decided to be a trooper and slow down his normal pace and run with me. We didn't do too shabby. T pushed the stroller, which is tough because, well, she is 30 pounds basically. I'll be running the next race we do, the Bunny Hop 5k on the 30th, with the stroller. It was pretty chilly out Saturday morning. Aubrey was like "what the heck?" with being outside in the cold. We did try to get her to smile with this one. But...oh well!

This race felt pretty good. I'm proud to say that I was able to run for quite a bit of the race. I think our finishing time was somewhere round 46:00 minutes or so. We met up with a friend of ours about mid0way through, and T swears we slowed down when we started running with our friend. But to me, I don't go for long as I'm running consistently. We have a 15k, 9.3 miles, coming up. I'm not going to lie. That amount of distance scares the crap out of me. So this weekend I'm going to take one day and do a long run...somewhere around 8 miles or so to see what I can do. Pray for me.
Other motivation for this week? Eat a little better. With St. Patrick's Day, it definitely is harder. I haven't written that post yet, but you'll see why. Food. It was good over the weekend, but I can't eat everything I ate this last weekend on a regular basis. It was good, though.
Alrighty, so getting up bright and early on Monday to run, Here's hoping I don't psyche myself out! What motivation do you need this week?

Friday, March 15, 2013

Advice from me to you

Second Blooming
This week's Spin Cycle brought to you by Gretchen at Second Blooming is all about advice.  I wasn't sure where to take this one.  I hate getting unsolicited advice, and I'm not sure I have any advice to give.  I mean, I suppose I could give you all free legal advice, but....
So since I don't like taking unsolicited advice, and I prefer to not give it out to others...I will give it to the one person who can't do a darn thing but listen to it.  My daughter.
Oh the things I could tell you....let's start with the basics...
Don't be scared to ride a bike.  Mommy was, and she was pretty much the last kid in school to do it.  It's a lot of fun, and sure, you may fall.  But you pick yourself back up and keep pedalling. 
Don't get gum in your hair.  Ever.  Stay away from cheap gum, too, because that stuff really doesn't get out of hair very easily. 
Don't lie to me.  I'm an attorney.  I'll figure it out, and then you'll be in even bigger trouble. 
Don't be afraid to learn.  Read lots of books.  Learn to love reading.  And keep that love with you through life. 
Don't be afraid to be smart. Don't be afraid to be who you are.  You don't need to make yourself out to be someone who someone else wants you to be.  Who you are is perfect and that's all you should be.
Challenge yourself.  Don't become complacent with anything. 
Don't ask for your Mom's help with math homework.  I can help if Dad's out of town, but you may want to call your Aunt Andrea on that one.  Math isn't your Mom's strong suit. 
Take up hobbies.  Learn to play an instrument or a sport.  And don't just pick one.  Try as many as you like, but once you find one you really do like, make sure you keep it fun.  Don't make it a chore, keep it enjoyable.
Always open bathroom doors with your shirt or back.  Not everyone washes their hands.  It's gross, I know, but some people just are gross. 
If you have to stop to use the restroom on a road trip, never EVER use a gas station bathroom that has an entrance outside.  It's gross.
Don't settle.  And that applies to everything.  Don't settle to be just "okay."  Don't settle on love.  Don't settle on a career.  Don't settle on an item you order at a restaurant.  If you want that pricier item, get it.  Don't get the same old thing just because it's safe. 
Don't let your Mom teach you how to park.
If you are in the car with your Mom, and she happens to hit something...don't tell Dad.  He'll figure it out eventually but it's best to let him figure it out himself. 
Nothing cures a good heart break like some chocolate and a new set of PJ's.  And Mom will always be there to buy you a new pair.  I just hope I don't have to do it that often.  (The heartbreak part, that is...PJ's are cool.)
You have to watch the movie Airplane!  You may be all "But MOM, it's OLD!"  I don't care.  Watch it anyway.  It's legendary.  Legends don't ever die. 
Be the kind of person people respect.  Don't gossip.  Be honest, be trustworthy.  Be a good friend. 
Friends - don't spend your life stressing about how many you have.  It's the few, close friendships that will be the ones you treasure forever.
Guinness, Aubrey.  Don't waste your time on that cheap stuff.  If you're going to drink beer (after you're 21, of course) make sure it's quality. 
Along those lines of not ever drink and drive.  Just because Mommy is an attorney does not mean I'm going to get you out of trouble for doing something so stupid. 
If you're somewhere and you have been drinking, call me or your Dad or someone.  We will come get you, no questions asked.  Until the next morning, of course, when you are sober. 
Never ever ever feel like you can't tell or ask me anything.  Or your Dad.  We are and always will be here for you no matter what. 
Never forget....we love you.  Always.
So stop by Gretchen's and see what other spins people have to share!  You never may get some good advice.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Eating crow

I hate having to admit I'm in the wrong.  But that doesn't mean I won't.  But man it sucks swallowing your pride.
So I may have overreacted just a bit (shocked, I know) to an annoyance at daycare.  Annoyance at a policy and the pain it causes to get in and out of the building.  But rather than just mutter loudly under my breath like my, I have to write an email expressing my frustration to the director of the daycare. 
That's right.  I'm pissing off the director of my child's daycare.  And I'm not done until she's kicked out. 
But luckily that didn't happen. 
Now I was right in my being irritated.  I mean, the policy is stupid.  And a pain in the ass.  But I probably should have done that waiting 24 hours thing to send an email.  Or at least I could have waited maybe more than 30 minutes before writing.  I didn't use curse words or anything, mind you.  No, I was quite polite.  Harsh and blunt, but polite.  Basically I wrote it like a lawyer.  That's all I need to say.
And the director responded.  And it felt like I got pulled on her leg and spanked as punishment. 
And in reading her email, I thought "shit....I probably shouldn't have started this."  T, of course, was none to happy with me.  He shares the irritation I have, but he would like to keep Aubrey in this school.  So his response to me?  Fix it. 
So I called her.  And apologized.  Of course, she was super sweet about it and said I had no need to apologize.  We were both "straight-shooters," she said, and she appreciated my honesty and expressing my concerns.  Of course, I still apologized several times, and now I still feel bad even though she basically hugged me when she saw me at the daycare when we picked Aubrey up. 
But I did it...I ate crow.  And I didn't like it.  I need some Merlot to wash that down....
On another note, please keep T's Mom in your prayers today.  She is having major surgery on her back, so she can use all the prayers you can send her!

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Wordless Wednesday: Aubrey is 1

We finally got Aubrey's 1 year pictures!  So without further are some of my favorites.... 

I know this is "wordless," but take a look at Aubrey and her Daddy and tell me these two don't look alike....

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Things change

There's this episode of Sesame Street where Alan, who runs Hooper's Store, decides to go on vacation, but Big Bird flips out and tries to talk him out of finding someone to watch the store while he's gone because he wants things to stay exactly as they are and never change.  And then Natalie Portman comes in as a customer or something and changes Big Bird's mind, they sing this cute song about change, and then suddenly he's cool with Alan leaving so long as Natalie stays.  So in the end, Big Bird realizes that change isn't a bad thing.  In fact, change is a good thing. 
Yes, I have started my blog on a deep topic by talking about Sesame Street.  But it just so fitting. 
Over the course of a year, my life has completely taken a 180.  Things have changed in ways I never imagined.  Not all of them good, most of them are good, but surely none of them have been easy.  When T and I decided we would try to become parents we had no idea how quickly and massively things would change in our lives.  We had no idea how one little girl and her existence would change our perspective on...well....everything. 
Every decision we make, every choice in our daily lives we make as a family.  We are a family unit.  Just typing those words doesn't even begin to describe how deep that is to me.  Our family comes first to us.  It's no longer just T and I and our extended families.  It's our core unit with everyone else kind of on the outer walls.  I mean, we still consider our extended families, but roles have changed, things have shifted.  We're the parents now, and we have this little life to shape and mold. 
Not everyone in our lives has been so conducive to the changing.  It's been tough.  And I'm not going to lie, it's a challenge just between T and myself, let alone with other in our lives.  Not everyone will support our decisions.  We've made choices on how we raise Aubrey, routines, schedules.  Not everyone is on board with that, and we have gotten push back.  We've had to pass on certain invitations because we do have to work around Aubrey.  Sure, we deviate from the schedule, but we have to consider what is best for her first.  And sometimes that goes over like a lead balloon. 
It's hard because I don't have the time I used to have to go out to dinner with friends, to talk on the phone at night and catch up.  I do go out to dinner with friends every once in awhile, but there's Aubrey, and is it fair to leave the responsibility solely on T to put her to bed?   And by the time she has gone to bed, I don't really want to spend the evening texting or calling someone when I would rather relax with T with the two spare hours we have before bed. 
And I know things aren't done changing.  As she gets older, things will shift even more.  And we'll get push back continuously because not everyone is going to agree with us.  Some will think we are being overprotective, not making the "right" decisions, not doing the right thing.  None of that really matters, though.  All that matters is what we decide to do.
As the song in that simple Sesame Street skit goes "Things change.   Yes, they change....change can be good, too." 
(Think I can get that memo out?  Or maybe just passively email this clip to everyone?)


Monday, March 11, 2013

Motivation Monday!

Motivation Monday

Happy Motivation Monday, everyone!  So this week my motivation lies in training.   This past Saturday, T and I ran in a training race for May's 500 Festival Mini Marathon.  We did a 5k in February, and this last Saturday was a 10k (6.2 miles).  The longest I have really run was 4 miles.  And running outside is a lot tougher than on a treadmill.  So I was nervous.  Well, actually I'm nervous before every race, but more so this one than the last.  With Aubrey being sick and the hard part of getting myself out of bed at 5:30 a.m. each week day to exercise, I haven't trained as much as I should.  So I was nervous. 

But, it surprisingly went really well!  I ran quite a bit of it, the first entire mile (probably a little too fast) so I had to slow down and walk off and on, but I'm pretty proud of my time.  I finished 6.2 miles in 1:11 hrs.  So my mile time is 11:26, which is actually 4 seconds better than my 5k time!  Whoo! 

The funny thing was from the start of the race, I had a hard time with my pants.  I bought new running tights last weekend, thinking a size medium would be good, but yeah....they started creeping down my butt.  So I kept having to pull them up.  That got annoying just a wee little bit for 6 miles, but I suppose that is a good thing?  And it looks like I'll need to do some shopping, huh? 

We have 2 more races coming up in March, both fun races.  Next Saturday I'm doing a 4 mile race, running with T and Aubrey in a St. Patrick's Day race.  Got my green outfit all ready to go, and you get Guinness at the end!  And then the Saturday before Easter, we are doing a 5k Bunny Hop.  You get bunny ears to wear, and Aubrey will get to see the Easter bunny.  So those will be fun, but shorter races. 

Now the next big training one is April 6, and that is a 15k (9.3 miles).  Yikes.  But the way I see it is if I can do that long, it's not too much more for 13.1, right?  I was pretty sore, though, after Saturday's race, mainly in my hamstrings.  But I think I can do this.  I really do.  But that would require being a little more diligent in my running, and when it gets warmer, going outside and running on the pavement because that is definitely a lot harder on the legs. 

So while I was running and holding up my pants, the song I kept singing over and over in my head was Salt n Pepa's "Push It."  Yeah.   That happened.  But it kept me going! 

So what motivation do you need this week?  This is just one motivational goal of is a whole other deal.  But that's not fun :-)  So I choose this motivation first.

Friday, March 8, 2013

Random Nain

 Come on, Nain....come up with something to write.  Something brilliant.  Mind-blowing. 
Nope.  Nothing.  Got nothing.  I'm sitting here on a Thursday night staring at an empty blog screen with a sore throat, drinking warm Silk from a "New Daddy" mug, listening to my child not sleep but rather babble to her monkey or God knows what in her crib.  I have to admit, I am very curious as to when I go check on her what position she will be in.  Should be interesting. 
This has been a week.  And it's over.  And tomorrow?  I run 6.2 miles.  I have to say I'm a little nervous about it, but it's just one step closer to the mini in May.  I've never run that far before in my life.  I've race walked 6.2 miles, but not run.  So think positive thoughts around 7:45 Eastern Standard Time in Indiana that I make it across that finish line!  And that I can keep up the training because it'll be a 15k (9 plus miles) in April. 
Okay, so anyway this entire post is quickly taking a turn for the "what the hell are we talking about, Nain?"  So I'm going to end this week with random.  Random, random, random!  Here we go:
So T has taken to looking up on YouTube videos of celebrities who have appeared on Sesame Street.  My favorite so far?  REM.  Or Johnny Cash, if you can imagine that.  In fact, here you go: 
Here is REM.....

And Johnny Cash:

 Look what has happened to us.  Look at what entertains us. 

I have a new favorite show.  Duck Dynasty.  God, I love that show.  "Nothing tells a woman that you are over her more than a dead deer in the back of your pick-up truck."  Actually hands down my favorite quote?  "Here's my take on high school reunions - if I haven't talked to you in 20 years, there is probably a reason."  Love that show!

Our daughter is SO close to walking it isn't even funny.  She's getting brave, walking along furniture, just holding on with one hand.  And I have a feeling that once she takes that first step, it's over.  She'll take off running.  Who knows, maybe she'll run races with Mommy and Daddy?

I'm still plugging along with my Lenten promise in doing the 40 day Love Dare.  Now have I actually successfully completed every dare?  No.  But my friend Jess and I are keeping each other accountable.  It is quite the learning process, and it definitely is a challenge.  An enlightening one, at that. 

So yeah...I'll be getting up at 5:45 a.m. to go run 6.2 miles in the cold.  So...yeah...that's happening.  After that, I think I should relax, what do you think? 

Sorry for the randomness of this post.  Eh, it is what it is.  You know you love it :-) 

Have a wonderful weekend, everyone!

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Pass on this one

So this past weekend, I was giving a friend of mine love advice, which is actually humorous because my love experience is something short of a Lifetime movie or at least mini-series, but she asked for my advice.  So I gave it.  The dilemma?  Dating a guy who was really into his dog, compared his dog to her kid and put the dog first.  And that brought me back to a relationship I had not too long before I met T when I had the same problem.  So that got me thinking...I need to write a list of advice.  Someday I'll pass this along to Aubrey some day. 
So if you run into any of  Run in the other direction.  Because it's just bad news bears. 
And I write this in all good humor.  But none of the guys that I'm talking about here read this so it doesn't matter, but's all in good fun, in that I'm totally making fun of these individuals.  Whose names will not be given. 
Just say "I'll pass"
When you meet a guy at a restaurant for a date and the place is full so you decide to go somewhere else.  He chooses.  You have no idea where anything is because you don't live there.  He speeds off, expecting you to cut off traffic and follow him.  If you have that brief moment in time where you think "maybe I should just turn right and go home," then maybe you should go home.
If you during dinner, your date suggests getting a beer afterwards, and it's only 7:00, and you'd rather go home.
But you decide to not go home, you get a beer, and when you order yours after him, he looks at you and says "your beer choice emasculates me."  And is being serious.
Same date (yeah, this didn't go past first date) when the guy starts off a conversation with "when I was in high school and college, I was never popular, but now that I'm in law school, I hang with the popular crowd.  And by you hanging with me, you are, too."  (ooh!  Lucky me!)
When you meet a guy at a party, and he seems normal.  But then he pulls out a highlighter in a room with a black light and starts drawing all over his face. 
When a guy starts talking about how good of a catch he is and how good he is at first dates.  Actually when a guy just talks about himself a lot before you meet him. 
When a guy cries...not just in general, but when he cries after you tease him for thinking Puss in Boots in Shrek is cute and he makes some kind of cooing noise or "aww" when the stupid character comes on.  Yes, he cried.  And this was three months in. 
When a guy doesn't come visit you out of town and you come see him because of his dog. 
When you meet a guy and finally come to his place, and he has nothing but dog treats in the pantry.  Because he's 36 and eats dinner at his grandma's every freaking night.  And never grocery shops for himself for that very reason.
When your first date, the guy comes in jeans, a ratty t-shirt and a torn up baseball hat.  (sorry, I don't find it appealing...)
When that first date is at B-dubs and then Wal-Mart because he needed to get a plunger. 
When on your first date, the guy doesn't order you wine or dessert :-)  Actually just kidding...I gave him more than one date.  In fact, I promised my life to him.  And it was more than worth it.  And totally made all of the above not even worth it, but rather things that I have no choice but to laugh at from now on.  And words of wisdom for when my little girl decides to date someday, and I have to teacher to stay from the douches.  And idiots.  And guys that's probably best they just say single. 
I hope I was helpful to my friend.  And if any of these turn you on, I totally apologize. 

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Why ask why?

Second Blooming
I am so very sorry, Gretchen, that I wasn't able to write last week's Spin Cycle, but...let's try this again!  This week is an interesting one.  It's on "Why," which Gretchen has taken from Vandy over at The Testosterone Three and Me.  Both awesome blogs so check them out.  Anyway, so here it is...enjoy!
Why is it that my daughter has a room full of toys but throws a fit because she can't get my bottle of water from me?
Why is it that no matter how good my intentions are, I can never get everything I want done in the course of a weekend?
Why is it that whenever I watch the show What Not to Wear, I have the urge to purge everything in my closet but when I watch Hoarders, I feel like the cleanest woman alive?
Why is it that I sing the Elmo's World theme song pretty much all the flipping time and have not gone certifiably insane? 
Why is it actually hard for me to come up with a list of why questions? 
Why is it that the laundry hamper seems to magically fill itself as soon as I finish the laundry and have a sense of accomplishment?
Why do we even have to deal with daylight savings time?  Seriously...I'm not looking forward to the adverse effect it's going to have on Aubrey.
Why hasn't the guy on "How I Met Your Mother" met the damn mother?  Seriously...funny show, yes, but come on.  Meet her already.
Why is it that kids in Elmo's World will be all "Hey, Mr. Noodle, How do you do this?" And when he tries to show them and does it incorrectly they get all irritated with him and tell him that he's not doing it correctly.  Well, damn kids, if you knew how to do it in the first place, then don't ask the question.
Why does that one Sesame Street character keep going back to that restaurant if the service is so bad?  (And Grover is always his waiter?)  I mean, stop going.  Come on.

Why are the majority of my questions about Sesame Street?
Not a why question, but what has happened to me?  Where did my youth go?
Why can't I win a large sum of money just out of the blue and pay off all my bills and debts?
Why won't Sallie Mae refund me my money for my degree if I decide I no longer want to use it? 
Why are all the streets that are named "North St" and "South St" in Indy actually east and west and "West Street" and "East Street" go north and south?
Why don't I come to a close with this post?  Because I'm running short on ideas.  So here we go...
Stop by Gretchen's and see what others have to ask.  Deep, thoughtful questions, I'm sure :-) 

Monday, March 4, 2013

Motivate Me

Motivation Monday

I'm torn about this weekend ending.  On one end, I'm not really thrilled about going back to work.  But on the other hand, Aubrey's transition to todlderhood has left T and I in the fetal position waving the white flag of surrender.  Seriously, I think by her 30,000th tantrum yesterday, I just wanted to curl up and hide.  Sure, she's all cute and sugar and spice at daycare, and they're all like "oh, she's an angel!  Always smiling!"  Yeah, you just wait until she's throwing food on the floor, screaming her head off.  In a restaurant.  Oh yeah, I am kind of ready for the daycare thing.  But not the work thing.  Oh the dilemma....

So anyway, onto the motivation thing.  This Saturday, T and I are running a 10k in training for the mini-marathon.  So this past Saturday, I decided to do a 75 minute run (on the treadmill, mind you).  I did pretty well, but my legs were beat by the end of the run.  I got to just shy of 6 miles, and I need to do 6.2 on Saturday.  But...with the actual day of a race, I tend to run on adrenaline and go a little faster than the pace I do on a treadmill.  But regardless, looking at the time running increasing more and more over the next few weeks...makes Nain nervous.  Shit, in a few weeks, we're talking 2 hours of running.  I'm going to have to do that one outside because two hours inside on a treadmill?  That might be just a tad too boring for me.  But I'm still plugging away...I'm going to run this mini come hell or high water.  I will do this. 

Other than that motivation, I'm needing some heavy motivation in the work field.  I have a lot of deadlines looming, and I was totally throw for a loop on Friday with something that is going to make one project particularly difficult.  And being the boss person, I have to keep that one to myself and act like all is good in Whoville.  So let's do this, Nain...let's do this. 

You know, I don't get an official vacation until July.  Dammit.  Can't that come just a bit sooner? 

So what motivation do you need this week?  Share yours with a post of your own!  And here's to the weekend!