The strength of love

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."  Laozi  

 I chose this quote for the front of our wedding program out of a series of quotes my mom had given us.  I wanted one that truly fit both of us, and I felt that this one did best.  Or at least I know it meant something to me.  Before T, I wouldn't necessarily describe myself as the most courageous person.  Or strong for that matter.  Sure, I know that friends of mine would tell you differently.  I had been through quite a bit a lot by the time I had met T - an emotionally abusive relationship, a series of not-so-great decisions in dating, loss of a job, and basically the loss of my identity and self-worth.  I was going through life on auto drive by the time T came along.  But he's my miracle.  I truly believe he was brought in my life for a reason - to show me the strength of love and to allow myself to be changed by it.  And I think if you asked him, he would tell you the same about his experience with love.  So when I chose this quote, I chose it with that reason in mind.  Our wedding guests might not have known that just from looking at it, but T and I both know what it truly meant. 

The other day, I came across this quote in one of the motivational emails I get sent to me on a daily basis.  Usually I just delete them, but for some reason I chose to open this email, and I happen to see this quote.  I stared at it for a bit, trying to figure out just where I had seen that quote before.  It hit me - this was our wedding quote!  And it got me thinking...

These past few months have been rough ones for T and me.  The health scare, while a trying and difficult time for both of us, did bring us closer together.  We were each other's strength when we both needed it the most.  Usually I'd fall apart when faced with a situation like I was faced, but I didn't this time.  I knew I had T by my side, and I knew that no matter what we found out, we would get through it.  Together.  His love gave me strength and courage to undergo testing, to wait those several weeks to get my results, and his love was there for me as we got the amazing news that everything was alright.  Without his love, I'm not so sure I would have been as brave as I was, as I lay there in that MRI tube, thinking of the possibilities of what could happen.  I've done it before, but this time seemed different.   Having T's love gave me strength to undergo whatever it was I needed to undergo, but at the same time, loving T as deeply as I do gave me the courage I needed.  And that made all of the difference in the world.