Being a Momma

 
It's been quite some time since I participated in the Spin Cycle.  Jen at Sprite's Keeper passed the torch to Gretchen at Second Bloomings, and I think sometime after that, I just got lazy and stopped joining in.  But I'm a joiner, folks.  And I want to get back into it.  So, Gretchen, I hope it's cool that I join in on your fun :-)  Here goes nothing!


This week's topic is on Mothers, in honor of Mother's Day coming up this weekend.  This topic has played a huge role in my life this past year.  And this weekend is a pretty big deal for me.  It's my very first Mother's Day. 


I don't think there was any way I could prepare for the huge change that happened when this little girl was brought into my life:

She's cute, right?

From the moment I first heard her cry and held her in my arms, I have felt the most overwhelming feeling of love, joy, anxiety and fear - all wrapped into one.  It's hard to describe, and I know that you mothers out there totally get what I mean.  I never believed in love at first site, but looking at this picture, this is exactly what I was feeling at this very moment.  The first time I laid eyes on my baby girl:

I fell in love with every part of her:  her skin, her cute little chubby cheeks, her little hands, her ears,
her adorable little toes...everything.  She was and is absolutely perfect.  She's the best part of T and me, all in one little amazing person.  I still tear up looking at this picture and even more just writing about that overwhelming feeling I experienced at that very moment.  And that feeling hasn't gone away...even on those nights where I'm woken out of a deep sleep by her cries at 3 a.m. and I shuffle half asleep in her room to feed her.  I still feel that way.  That feeling of "I can't believe she isn't sleeping through the night yet" just disappears as soon as I pick her up, and she burrows her little head into my neck and her butt curls up into me, and I realize that I'm her Mommy and she depends on me.  And that means the world to me. 



Every time I see her beautiful smile, I fall in love with her even more. 

Being a Mother, I believe is the greatest job I have ever taken on.  And I feel so honored to be blessed with this little girl.  I want to give her everything I can.   I want to inspire her to be a strong, independent person.  I want  her to follow her dreams and always believe in herself.  I want her to not make the mistakes I made in my past (Though I know I can't always control that and that she will make mistakes of her own.)  I want to protect her from anything bad that could harm her. (Again, totally not within my control.)  And I want her to know that no matter what, she can always depend on me and her Daddy.  We'll be there for her no matter what, forever and always.  And I want to know that one day, when she is on her own, I can look back and smile and say that I gave her everything she needs to become one amazing woman some day, which I have no doubt she will.


But...no matter what....she will always be my little girl.

And I'll love her, forever and always.