It's been quite some time since I participated in the Spin Cycle. Jen at Sprite's Keeper passed the torch to Gretchen at Second Bloomings, and I think sometime after that, I just got lazy and stopped joining in. But I'm a joiner, folks. And I want to get back into it. So, Gretchen, I hope it's cool that I join in on your fun :-) Here goes nothing!
This week's topic is on Mothers, in honor of Mother's Day coming up this weekend. This topic has played a huge role in my life this past year. And this weekend is a pretty big deal for me. It's my very first Mother's Day.
I don't think there was any way I could prepare for the huge change that happened when this little girl was brought into my life:
She's cute, right?
From the moment I first heard her cry and held her in my arms, I have felt the most overwhelming feeling of love, joy, anxiety and fear - all wrapped into one. It's hard to describe, and I know that you mothers out there totally get what I mean. I never believed in love at first site, but looking at this picture, this is exactly what I was feeling at this very moment. The first time I laid eyes on my baby girl:
I fell in love with every part of her: her skin, her cute little chubby cheeks, her little hands, her ears,
her adorable little toes...everything. She was and is absolutely perfect. She's the best part of T and me, all in one little amazing person. I still tear up looking at this picture and even more just writing about that overwhelming feeling I experienced at that very moment. And that feeling hasn't gone away...even on those nights where I'm woken out of a deep sleep by her cries at 3 a.m. and I shuffle half asleep in her room to feed her. I still feel that way. That feeling of "I can't believe she isn't sleeping through the night yet" just disappears as soon as I pick her up, and she burrows her little head into my neck and her butt curls up into me, and I realize that I'm her Mommy and she depends on me. And that means the world to me.
Every time I see her beautiful smile, I fall in love with her even more.
Being a Mother, I believe is the greatest job I have ever taken on. And I feel so honored to be blessed with this little girl. I want to give her everything I can. I want to inspire her to be a strong, independent person. I want her to follow her dreams and always believe in herself. I want her to not make the mistakes I made in my past (Though I know I can't always control that and that she will make mistakes of her own.) I want to protect her from anything bad that could harm her. (Again, totally not within my control.) And I want her to know that no matter what, she can always depend on me and her Daddy. We'll be there for her no matter what, forever and always. And I want to know that one day, when she is on her own, I can look back and smile and say that I gave her everything she needs to become one amazing woman some day, which I have no doubt she will.
But...no matter what....she will always be my little girl.
And I'll love her, forever and always.