Thursday, July 12, 2012

Separation anxiety

I'm away from my little girl today.  The only time I get to spend any amount of time with her is this morning when I got her ready for daycare.  She'll go home with her daddy, and I stay at work,working a booth at the fair to advertise our agency.  I'll be at work until 10:00 p.m., probably not getting home until at least 11:00.  She'll be well asleep at that point, and I'm missing an entire day with her.  And it breaks my heart. 
The thing that really makes me sad is this isn't going to be the first time in the near future I'm away from her.  This is just training for next week.  See, next Thursday I have to leave town for a work conference, and I'll be away from her for two entire nights.  Two nights.  I have never been away from her overnight before.  I won't get to read her her bed time story, kiss her goodnight.  None of that, and as much as I know I need to go to this conference, a huge part of me is absolutely dreading it. 
Sure, I'm trying to think of the positives...I'll get two nights of kid free sleep.  That is a good thing, yes.  But I'll be away from her sweet face.  What if she knows I'm gone too long?  What if she starts looking around for me, wondering where her Mommy is?  What if, when I get home, she won't want me to hold her because she'll think I abandoned her?  I'm not sure I can take that.  I don't want to make her feel sad at all.  And then that makes me sad.  It's a vicious cycle. 
Please tell me this gets easier, Moms out there.  Because, right now, it feels absolutely awful. 
I miss her already....



  1. It gets do-able but I don't know that it gets easier. There comes a day when she gets to spend the night with friends, go to camp, go on youth trips. While you're excited to see her growth, you take a look at that little face (no matter how old she is) and you just want to cry and hold on to her.

    With today's technology, is there anyway you can do a face-to-face on break tonight before she goes to bed? When you're gone, take something she sleeps with and put just a touch of your cologne on it (smell is one of our strongest memory triggers). Again, the two nights you're gone, can you do face-time (iPhone) or Skype? Even if all you can do is call and have Da put the phone up to her ear. It doesn't make you miss her any less but it does give you a sense of connection, of touching base, with her.

    Lily-Thinking Thoughts

  2. It will definitely get easier - to the point of WANTING a night away from her to save your sanity. :-) I don't doubt it will be hard this first time, though. Definitely try to Skype or Facetime, so you can at least see her before you go to bed at your conference. Good luck!


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