I'm away from my little girl today. The only time I get to spend any amount of time with her is this morning when I got her ready for daycare. She'll go home with her daddy, and I stay at work,working a booth at the fair to advertise our agency. I'll be at work until 10:00 p.m., probably not getting home until at least 11:00. She'll be well asleep at that point, and I'm missing an entire day with her. And it breaks my heart.
The thing that really makes me sad is this isn't going to be the first time in the near future I'm away from her. This is just training for next week. See, next Thursday I have to leave town for a work conference, and I'll be away from her for two entire nights. Two nights. I have never been away from her overnight before. I won't get to read her her bed time story, kiss her goodnight. None of that, and as much as I know I need to go to this conference, a huge part of me is absolutely dreading it.
Sure, I'm trying to think of the positives...I'll get two nights of kid free sleep. That is a good thing, yes. But I'll be away from her sweet face. What if she knows I'm gone too long? What if she starts looking around for me, wondering where her Mommy is? What if, when I get home, she won't want me to hold her because she'll think I abandoned her? I'm not sure I can take that. I don't want to make her feel sad at all. And then that makes me sad. It's a vicious cycle.
Please tell me this gets easier, Moms out there. Because, right now, it feels absolutely awful.
I miss her already....