Lately, my child has been using some major Worldwide Wrestling (if that's what it is still called) on me. She doesn't necessarily leave bruises, but man, that kid is strong. Regardless, Mommy is getting a little beat up at home. By a 15 month old. That's kind of sad, isn't it?
The other week, my little angel decided suddenly she didn't want to play with her See-and-Say and threw said toy aside, clocking Mommy in the left eye. I waited anxiously all day for the bruise to appear and to get a decent looking black eye, but by some stroke of luck, that didn't happen. I was envisioning all of the stares and questions I would get if that were to happen. "Oh, no, it wasn't T who did that. It was my little girl. No, I'm fine, really."
She has taken to pulling my hair, which has happened for quite some time. I now understand why some women do the "Mom cut" and cut their hair super short after having children. I don't think it's because it's easier to do. I think it's because there is less hair for your child to pull. Because getting my hair out of her kung-fu death grip is not easy. And that then results in a toddler, bucking-bronco reaction. Those are always fun.
The other day, I'm not sure why, but she wanted my face to completely turn around. That's the only explanation I can make for why she tried to shove my face to the side so far and got frustrated that it wouldn't bend further. Screaming ensued. Bucking bronco reaction from child. Mommy puts her on floor and walks away. Neck pain resulted.
And I swear, she's trying to prevent me from having future children. I lay down on the floor while she is playing, and the kid crawls over me, feet stepping directly near the ovaries. Resulting in Mommy in fetal position.
I'm going to look for a white flag pretty soon and plead mercy. Because it seems that my toddler is overpowering her Mommy.