I have to say, I'm pretty nervous today. Today's a big day for me work-wise. For about a month now I've been planning our agency's annual meeting. It's a pretty big deal, and I've been lining up the speaker, a state supreme court justice, the location, food, annual report, etc. I'm no party planner by any means, but as the director, this responsibility falls on me. And the big event is tonight. I have to speak at the beginning of it and give out awards to our volunteers, and I'm pretty nervous about that. Actually I'm pretty nervous about the whole thing. So prayers, please!
This seems to have become a bit of a trend with me lately - the nerves and anxiety. Honestly, I'm not 100 percent sure why. I have an inkling. Stress. But just about everything has me on edge. I'm not a big fan of the anxiety but I feel like I have the weight of the world on me these days, and I would like some of it to just kind of...go away.
I am an anxious person by nature. I've always been able to get myself all worked up over the littlest thing, but normally I'd calm down at some point. But lately I'm wired. And it's not really working for me. I am hoping that once this big event is over at work, things will calm down, but honestly? I know that won't be the case.
Case in point - yesterday at daycare, the teacher mentioned that Aubrey needs a little more tummy time to help her strengthen her legs and arms. I guess she's a little behind in that department. And I felt just awful. Like I let her down, and then I started to get all anxious thinking am I holding her back developmentally? Will the teachers judge me there? And that moved to "I need to get home immediately and try to rectify this!" And the thoughts just came at me all day. And all this teacher was doing was offering a suggestion.
I'm anxious about so much right now. Work. Money. Aubrey. Tim. Familial issues going on right now. My health. My weight. Time management. Hell, stress management. I feel like one of those hamsters, just running and running on a wheel getting nowhere but worn out. And I'm afraid at some point I'm just going to crash. And it won't be pretty.
But for now, I'm focusing on today. Step one. Get through today's meeting. And then go from there tomorrow. It'll be Nain versus nerves, but I think I'll win. I have to, right?