Wednesday, November 13, 2013

My husband's humor

Today I am thankful husband's humor.  Seriously, over 5 years later, and he makes me laugh.  It's scary because we share a very similar twisted and dark sense of humor.  I was never quite sure that I would meet my match, but....I have.  I keep saying that I need to put together a book of "Shit my Husband Says," because otherwise, I'd forget it.  He's one of the few men I know who can make himself laugh at his own jokes, even before he gets them out.  He does the world's best Beavis and Butthead impressions, and he can relate any situation to Family Guy.  He's the one person I can make completely inappropriate and totally not politically correct statement and jokes to, and he'll find them equally funny if not already thought of them himself.  

I'd post some of them myself, but I don't want you all to think less of either of us because...well...they're inappropriate.  Instead, I'm going to repost something I wrote a long time ago of "T-isms" - Enjoy!



Where's a tape recorder when I need one?

 Sometimes I feel like I should walk around with a tape recorder when having conversations with my husband. You know, that guy who wrote the book “S**t My Dad Says” makes a ton of money off of what his dad says to him, and well, it gets me wondering sometimes whether I should write down some of the things that spew out of T’s mouth on a regular basis.

(After watching Dancing with the Stars on Tuesday)
“I’m really glad I’m not a star because I’d have to do shows like Dancing with the Stars, and I just don’t have the time for that.”

(After watching an episode of Teen Mom on MTV)
“I’m really glad I’m not a teen mom”

“If I were a gay man, I would want to get married, too. But I wouldn’t want to marry a douche. I’d want to find a good, quality man.”

While driving with my parents last week (and I should mention the car was in total silence before he randomly says this…)
“I love cruise control” (To which my Father responds, “That’s great. Good for you.”)

“When you become an attorney you should totally do that…”
(Referring to a television ad by this cheesy attorney’s office in Indianapolis. I quickly point out to him that I am, in fact, an attorney already.)

(Again after watching Dancing with the Stars)
“If I was a gay man, I would totally sleep with Rick Fox. He’s sexy.” (Yes, this one worried me, too.)

(At night, when we’re getting ready for bed and he still has beer left from dinner to drink)
“Don’t worry, just put it in the fridge, and I’ll drink it in the morning.”

(This morning after watching a piece on the Today Show about Marilyn Monroe)
"I'm glad I never had sex with Marilyn Monroe.  She sounds crazy." 

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again…he’s a goof. But he’s my goof, and I love him for that.

Speaking of my goof, come back tomorrow because it’s all T tomorrow…he’ll be guest posting about the wedding. I promise it’ll be good!

Here's a new one for you all "Make marriage your bitch or it will make you its bitch."  Oh, T...

1 comment:

  1. He'd sleep with some guy and not Marilyn???? I can't even express my disappointment...


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