Today's thankfulness post is on the most important thing in my life, the reason for my family and the life we have, my marriage to T. I don't say this often enough to him, but I am truly, truly thankful to have him in my life as a spouse and partner.
When we were at Buca di Beppo this last week, he took a picture of this picture he saw in the restaurant. Damn right you did, buddy!
So I came across this blog post from Seth Adam Smith the other day titled "Marriage Isn't For You." He started off by saying he was married for 1 1/2 years, and he has come to the conclusion that marriage was not for him. I thought for sure this was going to be about divorce. But it was not. Instead, he wrote about advice his father gave him before he married his spouse, saying that marriage is not about you - it's not about being selfish and seeking out only your needs. It is about putting your spouse's needs above your own. It's about making decisions that are best for the two of you, not putting your own needs at the forefront. So easily I know we all do this. It's hard. I know I stumble with this, and I forwarded this article to T who found it amazingly helpful, as well. I am so thankful for my husband, for the work and love he puts into our marriage. Love is a choice, not a feeling. He wakes up every morning choosing to act out of love towards me, and I the same for him. I try my best to put his needs above my own, and I know he does the same. Are we perfect? By no means...but we're in this together.
In his blog, Seth states: "No, a true marriage (and true love) is never about you. It’s about the person you love—their wants, their needs, their hopes, and their dreams. Selfishness demands, “What’s in it for me?”, while Love asks, “What can I give?”
Marriage is about family, my family, my union with T and the covenant we took on when we pledged our life to each other. I am well aware that not everyone is as lucky as I am to have someone like T in my life. I know that at times I take that for granted. I recognize that and readily admit it to him. Shortly after reading this article I sent him this text: "I just want you to know, I think you're pretty wonderful. I love you more than you will ever know."
I meant every word of that. Sure, we get on each other's nerves, sure we're not perfect, but we are perfect for each other. And I am so thankful to have T in my life.