Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Parent advocate

I try so hard to not be that mom.  I really really do.  However it is becoming harder and harder when situations present themselves.  Recently I blogged about following my gut instinct with Aubrey not adjusting to the changing in teachers in her classroom.  Well, they still have not replaced a teacher permanently.  Every day we have another substitute in there.  Sometimes it is consistent, sometimes it is not.  The room is chaotic.  
Tuesday I stayed home sick so T picked her up.  The room, again, was chaotic.  They still have not hired a permanent replacement teacher.  He gets 3 incident reports.  Two of them were from Monday.  Neither of them were given to me when I picked her up on Monday.  When I asked on Monday how her day went I was told she had a great day.  Um, she had two incident reports?  That's a great day?  One of them was her pulling some kid's hair.  The other really upsets me.  It was at 10:58 in the morning and she was climbing on a high chair in the home living area.  The chair falls back, she hits the hard floor, bumping her head and the chair falls on her, bruising her chin.  This incident was not told to me.  Nor was it told to T really.  He just had to sign the paperwork quickly.  I'm sorry, but this kind of incident is something that is somewhat important to tell the parent, say, when she notices a bruise on her daughter's chin and is like "hey, where did that come from?"

So Tuesday night, I wrote the director an email.  And calm down, before you all say "but Nain, you did that before and you got in trouble and had to eat crow!"  I did not write this email with my attorney hat.  In fact, it was very nice.  I expressed my concern as her mother and explained we were not happy with the environment she is currently in.  I do not want to withdraw her from the school because she has grown and learned so much.  I like the center.  I liked the teachers she has had so far, especially her infant teacher.  She was awesome.  But I'm not currently happy, and I'm not happy in any way for this incident not being disclosed to me.  Hell, I consider that something that would warrant a phone call, you know?  

I was not mean.  I was not throwing the "I'm an attorney" card around.  So I doubt this will cause some huge uproar, but I am her mom.  We are her advocates.  I leave my child in their care, trusting them with her safety and well-being.  At some point, I have to step up when I see something that is unacceptable, and that is what I did.  We will see what the response is.  I am hoping it is constructive and opens a dialogue.  

Because if we do not speak up for her, who will?  

And yes, I kissed her little boo boo, albeit two days late.  

1 comment:

  1. Does the school have Nanny Cam's that you can log into throughout the day? If so, sign up for it.

    As for incident reports, I would say, you and T tell each other when you pick her up, "there were no incident reports today." And then refuse to sign off on any that are not from that day until you have talked to the director and teacher, no matter how long it takes to get the appt to talk about it.The school was wrong to wait so long to tell you about any kind of incident, but especially one that involved her hitting her head.

    I was *that* mom and I am not ashamed of it. In fact, it is a badge of honor for me. I protected my daughter. I tried to talk to her teachers and administrators privately and when that failed I brought in the big guns. One of her teachers decided it was her job to toughen her up and would say things to her publicly so I started dressing down the teacher publicly. Other parents began to stand up for their children when they realized that it was important. If I had it to again, I wouldn't change anything I did that protected or stood up for my daughter.

    Sometimes my life was inconvenienced, sometimes I had to take time off of work, sometimes I wasn't very well liked but I truly did not care. I was told not to be so protective and I told the people who said that to mind their own business, my job was to raise my child as I saw fit, their job was to raise their children. Enough said,

    Keep being *that* mom. You will be happier for it, even if you do make mistakes once in a while you will know that you are doing your best!



Comments make me smile so leave a comment if you're stopping by!