Thursday, October 31, 2013

The strength of love

I read this somewhere on Facebook the other day, and it really touched me.  I know people share these inspirational type of quotes all the time, but this one didn't seem so inspirational to me as it did seem real.
I've expressed my thoughts on marriage before.  Love is a choice, a choice you make every day.  When you marry someone, you marry them for good times AND bad.  You may say those words in the vows and just say them because they are there.  You may bolt at the first sign of trouble.  But that's not what a real marriage is.  It's work.  It's not always fun.  But it's worth it.
There's a quote from Runaway Bride, one of my guilty pleasure chick flicks that I've always loved.  I'll admit when I first heard it back when the movie first came out I don't think I really grasped the words.  It goes something like this:  
Look, I guarantee there’ll be tough times. I guarantee that at some time, one or both of us is gonna want to get out of this thing. But I also guarantee that if I don’t ask you to be mine, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life, because I know, in my heart, you’re the only one for me

I'll admit, in my single days I idealized marriage.  And I would convince myself that each man I "fell in love with" was THE one.  I'd marry him.  It's funny because looking back, I thank God that wasn't the case.   Because I hadn't found the one, my soul mate.  And I don't use that word in the sense of the word that this person is the one I'll never fight with, we'll wake up every morning, and it'll be all rainbows and ponies, and like the end of a Disney movie, we'll live happily ever after.  No, I'm talking about the person who will accept me for me, all of me, the good and the bad, the pretty and the ugly. And that's not always easy - for either of us.
I would look at relationships my friends had that seemed so perfect from the outside, and I'd say "damn, I wish I had that."  But after marrying T and talking with them more, I realize that it hasn't always been so easy for them either.  They fight.  They go through rough times.  They say hurtful things to each other than they don't mean but can't take back.  But they love each other.  They make it work because of that love and because they want to.  Because when they said forever, they meant forever.
I know there are days where both or one of us doesn't like the other, where every little bad habit rears its head and we just want to go crazy.   There have been moments in this past year when I know that at least one of us would have been fully justified in wanting out.  This year has tested us; it still is.  But we're coming out stronger.  Both of us are committed, and no matter what life throws at us there is that love.  It's stronger than any of the bad, any of the sadness.  
We know each other like the back of our hands.  Hell, we were just two questions off in a marriage game where we were tested on how well we knew the other.  (Winning first place, of course, which was a date night - damn right!)
He still makes me laugh even when I don't want to, those moments where I want to be mad at him but can't be because he's....well...he's him.  And he laughs at me as I do stupid things like sing "I'll Make Love to You" by Boys to Men, acting like a complete moron.  Or when I jump around the room dancing to Gangham Style.
Will it be rainbows and ponies some days?  Sure it will.  Will there be days where I don't want to be around T and vice versa?  Sure there will be.  Will there be moments when I look at him across the room, catch each other's eyes and feel the love between us without even saying a word?  All the time. And those moments are the ones that count.
When we said our vows over three years ago, I said "I do," and I meant it.  I did back then, I do today, and I always will.  We're in this journey together, and that's why I love him so.

1 comment:

  1. Great post!! Congratulations on three years!!

    We've been married a few more than that ;); someone asked me the secret to a happy marriage and I said, "Recognizing that it isn't always happy and choosing to love each other anyway!" You've hit the nail on the head! It is an active, daily decision.

    ~Lily-thinking thoughts~


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