Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Where did the time go?

Wait, it's October already?  Seriously?  I had this realization the other day when I happened to noticed I hadn't changed the calendar on my office wall since July.  I'm really up on these things, people, let me tell you.  We're almost to Halloween, and as T and I were buying Aubrey's (over-priced) Halloween costume the other day (She's going to be a little bee.) I saw an aisle already dedicated to Christmas.  Has this year gone that quickly?
I know, I know, it's only mid-October, but still....it seems like time passed way too quickly.  I started off the 2013 with so much in mind, so many goals I wanted to reach.  I had no idea how much would happen between then and now and no clue that the path I was originally headed on would completely change.  Or could completely change.  It all depends on things out of my control at this point.  Regardless, in some respect I feel like I've wasted the year.  We've gone through a lot of tough times this year and I feel like I've been focusing on those so much that I've missed the entire year. 
I know I cannot go back in time and change the fact that those days are past.  I know I can only live in the now.  That is why T and I are making every effort to do stuff with Aubrey this fall - we've taken 2 trips to the apple farm and pumpkin patch and plan to go down to Brown County this weekend.  We're making a point of not spending every weekend day at home doing errands or chores.  Sure, they need to be done, but if we use the weekends for "to do" lists only, every single weekend, we're missing out on so much.  It's not like we can truly utilize the week for quality time. 
Anyway, in addition to utilizing the time we have now, I have quite a few big decisions to make, ones that need to be made before the end of the year.  I know last year, I think, I wrote a post about being overwhelmed with all of the tasks I have taken on.  And I remember Lillian commenting about how maybe I needed to rid myself of some of those no matter how hard they are.  And I remember thinking "no way, I just need to organize myself better!"  And now I have learned that her words are more than true.  I have given up Mary Kay which has been the biggest burden lifted by far.  But now I'm facing a decision on what I truly want to do.  And whether I can do it.  Or whether the path I chose for myself years ago is the one I should still be on considering how my life focus has changed.  My focus is now on my family, my marriage and Aubrey.  Family life and work are competing, and I think I know which one will and needs to win in the end.  But I have to make tough decisions and ones that only I can make.  And never in a million years would I have thought I'd be in this position by the end of the year.  It's crazy how much things change when you aren't even thinking about it.
I feel kind of pressured now because it is nearing the end of the year, and here I am faced with just a few months left.  What have I wasted my time on when I let these items sit on the back burner?  How did I let my focus shift?

I'm thinking it's time to put my life back into refocus and to do so before the "new year" begins in 2014.  Screw resolutions, this is something that is bigger than that. 
But seriously, it's October?  Does this mean I need to start thinking about the holidays?
Oh and if that didn't make me feel like time has passed too quickly....today my little girl is just 4 months shy of being 2.  Seriously?

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