Friday, August 31, 2012

Spin Cycle: I know what I did this summer

Second Blooming
 
 
So today, I'm taking off work.  After two days this week of 10 plus hour long days, I'm resting with T and Aubrey.  And picking up my packet and registration for the mini-marathon tomorrow.  AND...guess what?  Despite the drought we've had all freaking summer, mother nature will be screwing me tomorrow by raining.  Walking 13.1 miles in the rain.  Yes!   I now hate you mother nature.  So please pray that it doesn't rain between the hours of 7 a.m. and 10:30 a.m.  Pretty please? 
 
 
Anyway, I digress...today it's Spin Cycle time.  Gretchen at Second Blooming has chosen "What I did on summer vacation" for this week's topic.  My immediate reaction?  What summer vacation?  This summer has been a tough one work-wise.  Nain has been all work and no play due to staff cuts and big events in our agency.  But...I've tried my best to have a little fun at least this summer.  So here it is...Nain's summer "vacation" (ha!):
 
 
On Father's Day weekend, we did manage to make it down to Bloomington and IU for a nice day on campus and at Oliver Winery.  It was my first time introducing Miss Aubrey to the wonderful educational mecca that is known as Indiana University.  It's good she see her future alma mater at a young age.  You're never too young for excellence.
 
 
We also went on our very first family vacation to St. Louis the weekend of July 4th.  Despite the 100 degree heat, we did have a lot of fun, exploring the Science Museum, taking Aubrey for her first dip in the pool and checking out the Budweiser brewery.  (Yes, we brought our daughter to a brewery AND a winery.  Don't judge!)  We can't wait for our second family vacation next month!
 
 
We celebrated Aubrey's first Fourth of July by cheering Daddy on at his six mile race and with a visit to where we were engaged, on the anniversary of the day we were engaged.  That was special for T and myself, as it is a tradition we go there, and this was the first year we had our little Aubrey go with us.
 
 
And we took Aubrey to her very first ball game!  It was a beautiful evening and just so much fun to sit on a blanket and enjoy a nice night and a good game with my two favorite people.  With it being so hot this summer we didn't get to go as much as we wanted to, but at least we made it to one game, and it was well worth it. 
 
 
Other than those few excursions, we tried our very best to just spend time as a family and bond.  Sure, the summer wasn't glamorous, but we did get to do some pretty fun things.  Now, I look forward to the fall...we all know how much I love the fall:  football season, cooler weather, pumpkin carving, trips to the apple orchard, and of course, the fall beer. 
 
 
So stop by Gretchen's blog and see what other Spinners have to share about their summer vacations!  And have a wonderful, long, Labor Day weekend!  I'll be sure to post how I did in my race, rain or shine I WILL finish.  Oh yes, I will finish. 
 
 

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Separation anxiety

So separation anxiety has hit the Nain/T/Aubrey household.  I dreaded this day.  I hate it.  Seriously, there is nothing I hate more than the cry from my baby girl when she thinks I've abandoned her.  It started off slowly.  I'd put her down in bed, while she's fast asleep, and suddenly, as she realizes she is being placed in the crib, she clings desperately to my arm as I lay her down and her face just crumbles into tears.  And my heart just breaks.  I stand there, trying to comfort her, but as soon as I do and leave the room, she starts crying.  I hate it.  And it's also when I leave the room...I'll be cleaning the house during the weekend, and if I get out of her eye sight, she cries, thinking I've abandoned her.  Suck. 
 
 
Last night, I was out of the house for my big work event, leaving T to put Aubrey to bed on his own, and apparently the little Miss did not take too well to that.  He said all night, she kept looking around, looking to the stairs, looking towards the door, fussing.  She took her bath, and normally, she splashes around all smiles and giggles, but when she looked back to see if I was there, where I normally would be if T was the one bathing her, she realized I wasn't and got all sad.  He put her to bed, and she wouldn't take her bottle and kept looking towards the door and all around the room.  When he told me all of this when I got home, I just wanted to cry.  I wanted to go wake her up and say "Mommy's here, sweetie!"  Of course, that would have been bad, but still.  I hated that feeling that she thought I abandoned her.  Of course, I know she's a kid, so yeah, she'll get over it but it still does break my heart. 
 
 
So I'm not looking forward to this phase progressing.  I miss her so much during the day, and now that I know she's aware that we're not there with her?  That is just awful.  Poor girl. 
 
 
Moms out there...this gets easier, right?  Right? 
 
 
Just one more day until our long weekend, and we get lots of Mommy/Aubrey time.  I think my heart needs that after this rough week.  Because honestly, who wouldn't want to spend time with this cutie?
 
 
 
 
 

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Nerves

I have to say, I'm pretty nervous today.  Today's a big day for me work-wise.  For about a month now I've been planning our agency's annual meeting.  It's a pretty big deal, and I've been lining up the speaker, a state supreme court justice, the location, food, annual report, etc.  I'm no party planner by any means, but as the director, this responsibility falls on me.  And the big event is tonight.  I have to speak at the beginning of it and give out awards to our volunteers, and I'm pretty nervous about that.  Actually I'm pretty nervous about the whole thing.  So prayers, please! 
 
 
This seems to have become a bit of a trend with me lately - the nerves and anxiety.  Honestly, I'm not 100 percent sure why.  I have an inkling.  Stress.  But just about everything has me on edge.  I'm not a big fan of the anxiety but I feel like I have the weight of the world on me these days, and I would like some of it to just kind of...go away. 
 
 
I am an anxious person by nature.  I've always been able to get myself all worked up over the littlest thing, but normally I'd calm down at some point.  But lately I'm wired.  And it's not really working for me.  I am hoping that once this big event is over at work, things will calm down, but honestly?  I know that won't be the case. 
 
 
Case in point - yesterday at daycare, the teacher mentioned that Aubrey needs a little more tummy time to help her strengthen her legs and arms.  I guess she's a little behind in that department.  And I felt just awful.  Like I let her down, and then I started to get all anxious thinking am I holding her back developmentally?  Will the teachers judge me there?  And that moved to "I need to get home immediately and try to rectify this!"  And the thoughts just came at me all day.  And all this teacher was doing was offering a suggestion. 
 
 
I'm anxious about so much right now.  Work.  Money.  Aubrey.  Tim.  Familial issues going on right now.  My health.  My weight.  Time management.  Hell, stress management.  I feel like one of those hamsters, just running and running on a wheel getting nowhere but worn out.  And I'm afraid at some point I'm just going to crash.  And it won't be pretty. 
 
 
But for now, I'm focusing on today.  Step one.  Get through today's meeting.  And then go from there tomorrow.  It'll be Nain versus nerves, but I think I'll win.  I have to, right?
 
 

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Take me out to the ball game!


This past weekend, we took Aubrey to her very first baseball game, taking in an evening game for the Indianapolis Indians.  It was a beautiful, albeit warm, day out, and the perfect day for a ballgame.  So we packed up a blanket and headed to Victory Field.  We're hoping to start a bit of a tradition here, taking Aubrey to see the Indians play.  Before we had Aubrey, T used to say how he looked forward to taking his son or daughter to a game and having a little Daddy-daughter time.  While I was there, of course, I still know it meant a lot to him. 
 
 
First on our list of things to do was to check out the field....
 



We had lawn seats, and the park is pretty nice in that you can see everything from no matter where you sit.  And you get this amazing view of the downtown skyline, too.  We laid out a blanket and just hung out until the game began.  Aubrey enjoyed her time just chilling with her best friend monkey....



It was fun just hanging out as a family, getting away from everything and enjoying a night out.  Miss Aubrey was a good sport, staying out past her bed time.  We were hoping she'd fall asleep in her car seat eventually, but nope, Little Miss Stubborn stayed awake until we got to the car.  Guess she didn't want to miss a thing!


 
 
 We left in the last inning, but the Indians won...not that I watched too much of the game :-)  I was having too much fun with Miss Aubrey.  But all in all, I think it was a great first baseball outing for her!   Next step?  IU Football!
 
 
 

Monday, August 27, 2012

Double motivation

Motivation Monday
 
Good morning, everyone!  It's a rainy morning here so it's definitely been a tough one to get up and at 'em today.  I love rainy days like this but only if I get to sleep in.  Alas, I did drag my butt out of bed this morning at 5:30 to run.  Go, Nain!  But as I drove to work, I found it increasingly more difficult to stay awake.  Not a good thing when driving in the rain. 
 
 
Anyway, my motivation this week....well, let's see...last week, I was very good at sticking to the list thing.  I have two different lists I use in my handy dandy notebook that I carry around (Yep, I did just do a Blue's Clues reference):  work and home.  My work one is pretty much an entire page long, but I did manage to check about 3/4th of it off before the end of the day Friday.  I have a home one, including some Mary Kay items, and that one is noticeably shorter, but still, it has helped me stay on task.  I definitely need that this week because it's going to be a long one.  Today I have a legal clinic I'm hosting until seven and then Wednesday is the agency's big annual meeting.  Luckily I'm only working until Thursday.  Taking Friday off, so that does give me some motivation to keep going. 
 
 
Speaking of why I'm taking off on Friday....this Saturday is the Women's Mini Marathon so I'll be walking 13.1 miles on Saturday.  On Friday, I head downtown to pick up my race items, and I get up bright and early on Saturday.  The race starts at 7:00 a.m.  That's freaking early.  That's even early for the Aubster, but she and Daddy will be cheering me on at the end.  I'm estimating my time will be almost 3 hours and 30 minutes, since I walk somewhere close to a 15:00 minute mile, give or take a few seconds.  Luckily I have someone to walk with so that helps.  I just looked up the course this morning, and I'm a little nervous.  But I can do it.  And if I keep telling myself, maybe that will help.
 

So that's my motivation for the week...what's yours?  Share it by leaving a link to your motivation Monday post below, and I'll add you to the list! 
 
 
 

Friday, August 24, 2012

Babies, babies everywhere!

I don't know about you guys, but it seems to me like there is this huge baby boom going on.  Everyone, seriously, everyone is getting pregnant.  My Facebook feed is littered with pictures of ultrasounds and announcements of "We're pregnant!" or first pictures of little ones just born. 
 
 
In my family alone, there have been five babies born this year.  Before my Grandpa's passing last November, he had twelve great-grandchildren, which is actually quite a bit.  Since November, we have had one baby boy born in January, Aubrey born in February, a little girl born in June, and two baby boys born in August.  It's bittersweet because I really wish he were around to meet all of these new great-grandchildren.  He would be so very proud.  But I like to think that he is proud, watching over us.  I have no doubt that he is proud of his five children, fourteen grandchildren, and seventeen great-grandchildren.  (Yeah, we have a big family, what can I say?)
 
In T's work group, his coworker had a baby in December, his boss had one in January, and Aubrey was borh in February.  Now his other coworker is going to have one any day now. 
 
 
In September we will be blessed with another niece, as T's brother and sister-in-law are expecting.
 
 
At Aubrey's daycare, we were so lucky we got her on the waiting list because there are fifty babies on the waiting list.  Fifty?  Seriously?
 
 
There must be something in the water.  Or something.  Because everyone is getting pregnant.  And that's a lot of people...you know....doing the deed to get pregnant. 
 
 
I know it's just the age we are in.  It's that time of life where people start settling down and starting families.  But it's crazy how many people are having kids this year. 
 
 
And I'm definitely not drinking the water or whatever it is that is causing people to get pregnant.  Because I have birth control in the form of a six-month little girl.  She's adorable, but you couldn't pay me to go back to that sleep deprived newborn stage.  Not right now, thank you. 
 
 
So yeah, is it just me?  Or has anyone else noticed this trend?  I did find myself yesterday looking back at pictures of Miss Aubrey when she was first born.  She was so teeny tiny.  And look at her now.  And yes, I did find myself tearing up when looking at the pictures of when I first held her.  So I say congratulations to all of you new parents out there.  And for those of you who don't want to get pregnant right now...don't drink the water.
 
 

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Work, work, work

Second Blooming
 
This week's Spin Cycle brought to you by Gretchen at Second Blooming is on a topic that has taken over my life as of late.  Work.  As of lately I've been all work and no play.  And that makes Nain a dull girl. 
 
 
It's not to say that I don't love my job.  I really really do.  But with budget cuts, I've taken on additional duties, and I'm overworking myself.  To the point where it's affecting everything.  We have a rather big event coming up next Wednesday evening, and I keep telling myself that once that event is over, things will calm down.  And who knows?  That could quite possibly be true.  Or not. 
 
 
When you're in the legal industry, things are always constantly at a hectic pace.  It's the nature of the beast.  But now that Im' a mother, my priorities have shifted a great deal, and things that were important to me before just aren't as important now.  And unfortunately work is one of them. 
 
 
I know I'm not cut out to be a stay-at-home mom.  I give mad props to those of you out there because, in the short stint I had with my maternity leave, it was intense.  It's pretty demanding.  And I need some me time away from the Aubster, no matter how adorable she is.  But at the same time, I need things to slow down.  I am pretty much tense all of the time, with exceptions on the weekends, and it's affecting my blood pressure yet again.  (Dammit, I thought I was over that after Aubrey was born!)  Not good, Nain.  Not good at all. 
 
 
I hate that this has turned into a "woe is me" blog.  I am by no means looking for pity.  I guess I'm just venting and in a way, brain-storming on what the reality is at the moment.  All I know is something does have to give at some point.  Or Nain is going to just give in general. 
 
 
Ah, work.  How I resent thee sometimes. 
 
 
Anyway, I'm sure there are some bloggers out there who have much more positive spins to share.  I encourage you to check them out so stop by Gretchen's blog and see what others have to share.  TGIT (Thank God it's Thursday!)
 
 
 

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

My growing girl

 

It's been awhile since I've given you all an Aubrey update.  Can you believe she's six months?  Seriously, where did the time go?  But honestly, I love this age.  And looking back, I'm not sure I'd want to go back to that newborn phase because, man, it was hard.  She's developing her little personality, and I love it.  The one thing I absolutely love is her smile and her laugh.  It is absolutely contagious.  When she smiles, her whole face lights up.  And her little giggle just melts my heart. 


She has also become quite the talker.  She just babbles on and on.  I'd love to know what she's really trying to tell us because she seems to be so into whatever it is she's trying to say.  Her daycare teachers have told us that she and two other girls around her age will all talk to each other. what, I don't know.  Daily gossip? 


She's also been copying what we do.  Shaking the head specifically.  T will shake his head, and she will do so in response.  The other day I was feeding her, and she actually shook her head when she was done.  My baby is a genius!


She's eating like a champ, too.  So far she's done sweet potatoes, carrots, squash, green beans, peas (she's not a huge fan of these), peaches, apples and pears.  I was shocked she didn't really like the peaches, but I mix it up with cereal, and she seems to handle it.  But she never really refuses food, and boy, it shows.  The little girl is 20 lbs 5 oz and 27.25 inches long!  And the doctor has advised us to start baby proofing the house, though she is not that close to crawling yet.  We're still working on the rolling over thing.  She can do the stomach to back thing okay, but not so much with the back to stomach.  She can't seem to get over those thunder thighs. 


Sometimes I just watch her, and I can't believe she's mine.  T and I created this little person, and she's perfect.  It really so amazing.  I love watching her grow, and I just feel so blessed to have her in my life.  Happy six months, Aubrey Lee!
 
 
 
 

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Some "us" time

Working from home this morning before I head to the courthouse to meet with applicants for our agency, and man, I'm tired.  Pumping myself full of coffee, and I'm nursing my wound from just getting blood work done.  I'm proud to say I didn't pass out, even though it was super close.  I hate the fact I can barely handle getting blood work without fainting.  But I resign myself to the fact that there's nothing I can really do about it. 
 
 
Anyway, I digress.  I'd rather not write about that this morning.  Instead, I'll write about the lovely weekend I had with my family and more importantly, with T.  Upon the advice of many of you wonderful readers, we decided to take some time for us.  It's been far too long, and we found ourselves in that roommate phase where it was all business and all Aubrey.  So it was nice to take a step back to what we were before we became parents.  And it was nice. 
 
 
Friday night after we put the little Aubster to bed, we poured ourselves some wine and sat on our front porch for a few hours, just talking.  We used to do this all the time when we first started dating, and it was so nice.  No TV, no computers, just us.   
 
 
On Saturday, after he ran and I did my 8 mile training walk, we got ready and headed up to Noblesville for my Mom to watch Aubrey while we went on a date.  An actual date.  Just us.  Wow.  We went to see The Campaign (which is absolutely hilarious if you are looking for a good laugh), walked around the outdoor mall in Noblesville, stopping at Old Navy to purchase Aubrey's Halloween costume.  Sure it's early, but it's the cutest monkey outfit ever.  I can't wait to see her in it.  And we ended our afternoon with an early dinner at Olive Garden, enjoying a nice dinner with, yes, a bottle of wine.  It was a special occasion after all!  Aubrey did so well with my parents, which was great because we can always use the free babysitting for future dates.  And, like Friday, we ended the day with some wine (T had Jameson) outside just talking.  It was a wonderful day. 
 
 
All good things must come to an end, as responsibility must take over at some point.  We ran errands on Sunday, T working out in the yard, and Aubrey and I joining him by sitting out on the porch.  I always hate that feeling of Sunday, the knowledge that the next day you have to go back to work.  But really, it was a great weekend.  I don't think we've had one like that in a long time.  We took time out for ourselves, and it was so worth it. 
 
 
So that was our weekend...how did you spend yours?  And who is ready for another weekend?  Just two weeks until my big mini-marathon!   Yikes! 
 
 

Monday, August 20, 2012

Motivated to change

Motivation Monday
 
Happy Motivation Monday, everyone!  I know no Monday is really a happy one, but I still feel like I should say it...for optimism, I suppose.  Though, I've never been the most optimistic person in the world, I'll try it just this once.  Anyway, so here's the deal...if you have something for which you need motivation, write a post about it, link it up to my blog, and comment, leaving a link to your post.  And I'll link you up!
 
 
My motivation this week is all about changes.  I have a doctor's appointment this morning, and it's not your normal type of appointment.  It's with a doctor who specializes in weight loss.  While I am by no means obese, I have struggled off and on with my weight for years.  I was super skinny and unhealthy in high school and towards the start of college, but when I entered law school, my weight up and down went my self esteem.  I've gone back and forth with it, and after Aubrey it's been a battle.  I know, I know, it took 9 months to get it on...but I'm actually to my pre-pregnancy weight now.  And it wasn't the weight I wanted to have or what is healthy for a woman of my size.  So I am going to a weight loss center at our local hospital, and you work directly with a physician on the whole deal - what you're eating, why you eat, what you're lacking, what other factors could be affecting it, etc.  It's a 20 week program, and I'm ready to get started.  Of course, the first thing I have to do is get lab work done, and my fear of needles doesn't really go so well with that, but oh well...you'd think I'd be okay with needles after the c-section.  But then you'd be wrong.
 
 
 
So my motivation this week is to make some changes.  They won't be easy, but I'm ready to make them.  I need a change.  And I want to become healthier, for my heart, as well as just for me in general.  Week one.  Let's see how this goes!
 
 
So what's your motivation this week?  Definitely share with us!  Because, after all, we can all use a little push at the start of the week! 
 
 

Friday, August 17, 2012

Water, water, everywhere!

Second Blooming
 
This week's Spin Cycle, brought to you by Gretchen over at Second Blooming, is on water.  I'm not going to lie.  I've got nothing.  No ocean or lake story.  No pool story.  Nothing.  So I'm going rouge on this one and talking about the one subject I do know on water...
 
 
Bottled water.
 
 
Yeah, bottled water.  It's probably the only way I can really talk much about water.  I have a ton of bottles of water in my house.  My own shelf in the refrigerator.  I know you're not supposed to keep refilling them over and over again.  I know at some point the germs take over, but I just keep them in there and rotate.  So far I probably have about six.  T has a shelf, too.  We're cheap.  Why buy new bottles of water when you can just fill them from the tap.  And our refrigerator has a filter so it basically is the same.  And God knows I need a bottle.  If I just used a glass?  There would be water everywhere.  Everywhere, I tell you! 
 
 
The funny thing that I do that T doesn't understand is I don't always fill my bottles all the way when I put them back in the fridge.  He'll fill his and put them back in all neatly.  Mine are somewhat crushed and half-full.  I figure, who cares?  I'll fill the rest of it later.  So I have about six different bottles of water at different levels of fullness. 
 
 
And I carry one everywhere I go basically.  But the thing is?  I don't drink it.  I'm notorious for not getting enough water during the day.  I get so busy and just forget.  So I'll come home and unpack my lunch and see two full bottles when I brought three in, and the third is still somewhat full.  And then I realize how very little I drank that day.  Bad, Nain, bad!  I really should drink more water.  Why else would I be carting around a bottle everywhere I go?
 
 
I also will leave them at random places in the house.  Seriously, it's amazing, I'll find one in the living room, one in my bedroom...one in my purse, you name it. 
 
 
Do you think I should implement a "days of the week" bottle water system?  Maybe that would do the trick! 
 
 
I had non idea I had so much to say about bottled water.  I think this might actually be one of the longest rambling posts about bottled water that you would find out there.  I dare you to find a longer one. 
 
 
Speaking of water, I'm thirsty.  Time to locate one of mine.  There's got to be one around here somewhere!
 
 
 
So stop by Gretchen's blog, and see what other Spinners have to say about water.  I'm guessing it has nothing to do with the bottled variety :-)  TGIF, everyone!
 
 

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Six Months?

Today you won't get a substantive post, but instead, Aubrey and I played around a little with the web cam on my computer and compiled a video in honor of her six month birthday, which was yesterday.  So here it is!


video
 
 
 
 
 
 

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

These are the people in your neighborhood

 
I don't like our neighbors. 
 

Well, two of them in particular.  So I shouldn't be so harsh on all of them.


I've already told you the story about the douche who thinks our street is a drag strip for his piece of crap, souped up car, right?  Well, apparently one of my neighbors kindly told him that she didn't appreciate it, and she had a 14 year old child and she didn't want an accident to happen.  He told her that her kid is in high school and should know better than to get in the way of cars.  Seriously?  I'm not even sure if it's worth me going to him and saying, "Look, your ridiculously loud engine and peeling out wakes up and scares the crap out of my kid.  The next time you wake her up, YOU can calm her down."  With a few expletives in there.  But I'd rather go through the law, so I'm considering looking into noise ordinances.  Because the HOA was useless.  Sending a letter?  Yeah, I'm sure that stopped him.  Clearly it worked. 


And then there's the scary kid across the street.  He makes me think of one of those kids that was involved in Columbine.  And I'm not joking when I saw he is scary.  He really is.  It started off with the board he propped up against their tree in the backyard.  It's a new neighborhood tree, so you know the type...skinny, very easy to fall down.  Twerpy looking.  So he had this 2x4 propped up against the tree, and he would stand there for hours on end throwing knives at it.  He has bad aim, which gives me solace.  But then the knives turned into hatchets.  Who has hatchets?  Bad aim still but apparently good enough aim because that tree was destroyed.  They no longer have that tree in their backyard.  Now, we find him lying on his stomach in his backyard, dressed in camouflage with a B.B. gun shooting at a target.  Like sniper style shooting.  It's weird and scary. 


I think he's in middle school, from his looks.  So I asked my oldest nephew what he thought.  Actually the conversation went like this.  "So, C, you were once in middle school."  His response:  "Yeah, yeah, that was the rumor.."  (Ha ha) So I told him what was going on and asked him if it was normal.  He looked at me like I was crazy and assured me that, yeah, that's not normal.  I kind of figured that was the case, but you know, I'm old and I'm not hip to what the kids are doing these days.  That certainly wasn't a hobby of mine in junior high or high school, but...


I guess he could be a boy scout.  I mean, maybe I'm being judgmental.  But when Aubrey is old enough to play in the yard, it will be in the backyard.    Unless his family moves away, which would be terrific. 


But yeah, I'm not a big fan of my neighbors.
 
 
 

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

The weight of it all

This blog has been and always will be my place.  A place for my thoughts, my feelings, and a way for me to express exactly what I'm feeling at the moment.  And today?  Today I am struggling. 
 
 
I don't have the time to be struggling.  I have so much to do at work, but I am.
 
 
I'm struggling with changes.  I know no one could ever be prepared for what changes come with starting a family.  I could have said all I wanted that I was prepared for it, but things change when a little one enters your life.  Priorities change.  Your schedule changes.  Relationships adjust.  You don't have time for certain activities.  Everything is affected by your child.  In good ways and bad ways.  And it's quite the adjustment.  It's been one for me, this I can definitely say. 
 
 
But I never wanted anything more in my entire life.  I've always wanted to be a Mom, ever since I "created" my family of Cabbage Patch dolls, playing family all the time.  I was their Mom.  I took care of them.  I took them places with me.  Hell, I had family portraits taken of us, if you believe that.  Seriously, I have a picture of me and my children sitting in my bedroom as a family portrait.  It's hilarious.  I always knew I'd be a Mom.  I have always wanted a family of my own. 
 
 
However, I didn't know about what would change when Aubrey would come into my life.  Becoming a mother has changed so much, and it has thrown me for a loop.  It's changed my relationship with myself, to be honest.  It's affected my relationship with T, in good ways as well as tough, not-so-good ways.  It's affected my relationship with family.  It's made me more distant from friends.  Things have shifted.  I realize as time passes, I'll get the hang of this Mom thing and certain things will fall back into place.  But for now?  I am struggling. 
 
 
So my heart is heavy today.  I'm not going to lie.   So my blog post, my feelings, are a reflection of that.  Sometimes I wish I had a magic wand, and I could make everything perfect.  I know that's too much to ask, but a girl can wish.  This does get easier right? 
 
 
For right now, I need to give this to God.  And let go and trust that it will all fall into place.
 

Monday, August 13, 2012

Motivation Monday!

Motivation Monday

Happy Motivation Monday, everyone!  Sadly, the weekend is over, but I'm starting it off by patting myself on the back.  We did a 5k on Saturday, Race Away from Domestic Violence.  T ran it pretty hard, training for his marathon and what not, and I had Miss Aubrey in her running stroller, which means I basically was pushing a 20 lb 5 oz baby plus the weight of the stroller with me.  And, I was pretty excited, I actually ran some of it.  I have to say...running outside in the elements and with a stroller?  Definitely harder than on a treadmill.  But I would pick a landmark and run towards it, walk, and then pick another landmark, run and then walk once I reached it.  It felt like death at the beginning, but as I got farther along, I actually liked the running better.  And little Aubrey was cheering me on the whole way.  Well, no, actually she was just yapping away, and secretly I was hoping she'd fall asleep...but I pretended it was her cheering me along.  My finish time was 42:15, with a 13:55 mile average.  Of course, I beat myself up about it saying I could have done better but like T pointed out, running with one of those strollers is tough.  So I totally have to pat myself on the back for that, right?


So I want to keep it up - I'm addicted now....must run more 5ks!  Well, actually I can't just yet.  In three weeks I have my mini-marathon.  Granted, I'll be running very very little of that, if any at all, depending on how hot it is that day, but I'll be practicing next weekend.  My goal is to walk 8 miles on Saturday.  It'll take a couple of hours, but I'll be walking over three during the mini-marathon so I need to get that one last long walk in.  I can do this! 


Aside from that motivation, I have several big deadlines this week.  So I'll be working hard towards those, keeping my focus as best I can.  Both are as equally difficult, so both need just a little motivation. 


So what's motivating you this week?  Join in on the motivation fun by posting one of your own...write it up and leave a link to your post in a comment.  Have a great Monday, everyone!
 
 
 
 

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Family matters

Second Blooming
 
This week's Spin Cycle topic is family.  I have to admit, I delayed writing this because there are so many directions I can take it.  Not all good, not all bad.  What makes a family?  Growing up, it was just me, my mom, my dad, my sister and my brother. And then there was extended family - cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents.  But every since February 15, 2012...well, actually ever since some time in early June 2011, my concept of family has completely shifted. 
 
 
 
 
This is my family now. 
 
 
It's not to say that parents, T's parents, and everyone else isn't family.  No, they're family, of course.  But the family unit - it's the three of us now.  T, myself and Aubrey.
 
 
My brother put it best recently.  The three of us are this little family unit, a nucleus, if you will.  And everyone else just rotates outside that nucleus.  But the core, the part that really matters, the part that I must keep strong - it's the nucleus.  Without it, you wouldn't have an atom at all, would you?  You'd just have random particles floating around.  In fact, is that even possible?  Science people?
 
 
Okay, that's enough science for me. 
 
 
It's been a learning process.  I talked about it a few posts ago about being selfish with the time I spend with T and Aubrey and making decisions on what's best for our family.  It's not always easy because a big part of me still reverts back to what my family was before I met T, before we got married, before Aubrey came into our lives.  A big part of me gets sucked into other matters that are outside what really is important to the three of us.  I revert.  But I have to go back...to what my family is now. 
 
 
My priorities have changed.  T and I make decisions around what's best for Aubrey, what's best for us.  Suddenly, this little person was brought into our lives, and everything changed.  And I wouldn't have it any other way. 
 
 
The cool thing is, we take care of the nucleus, but the particles that rotate around us grow more and more.  My siblings get married, they have kids, their kids have kids...Aubrey will get married someday and have kids of her own.  And it just grows and grows and grows.  (Anyone else hearing "The Circle of Life" as you read this?)
 
 
But for now, my focus is on this
 



My nucleus.  And like I said, I wouldn't have it any other way.


So stop by Gretchen's blog and check out what other Spinners have to share.  And have a great weekend!
 
 
 
 

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Hump Day Wandering

I don't have a lot to write about today, so we're going random.  I'm just putting it out there.  Random Wednesday.  So...here we go!
 
 
1.  I spent more time than I care to admit playing hurdles on Google yesterday.  It took me awhile to figure it out, but I got my little guy to go 13.7 seconds.  Whoo!  Oh the things we find entertaining.  I'm just glad I discovered this gem last night and not during the work day.  Productivity would have been nothing. 
 
 
2.  I'm doing pretty well with the running, but still only on the treadmill.  I can run 19 minutes out of 30 so far.  Not too shabby!
 
 
3.  I'm still training for the mini marathon which is less than a month away (yikes!).  On Saturday, I walked for one hour and forty minutes (sweating like no one's business, too) and then on Sunday, the three of us went for an hour walk.  I was feeling it on Monday so I took the day off.  Now can I walk 13.1 miles in a month?  God help me.  And I've signed up to walk the mini-marathon in May, too. 
 
 
4.  We're doing a race this weekend called "Race Away from Domestic Violence."  It holds a special place to my heart, and I'll be racing it with Aubrey. 
 
 
5.  I had to get cavities filled Monday.  Three more.  Now my mouth is sore as all get out because apparently I don't numb too easily.  I lost count at how many shots it took to finally numb me.  Ouch. 
 
 
6.  We had to take poor Aubrey to the doctor yesterday.  We thought she had a diaper rash, and it seemed to get worse and worse, so we decided to finally take her in.  Turns out it's a fungal infection.  Poor kiddo.  But at least we know what the deal is so we can get it treated.
 
 
7.  At said doctor's appointment, they weighed her.  Home girl weighs 20 lbs 5 oz now.  Seriously...she's one healthy eater.
 
 
8.  Anyone else as excited about Dancing with the Stars: All Stars this fall as I am?  Because seriously...it will be epic.  I am not going to know who to vote for...well, not Bristol Palin, but I don't like to get into politics.  I just didn't think she was a good dancer, that's all. 
 
 
9.  Lately, I've had this urge to go back to Dublin.  And get away from everything - work, drama, cell phones, computer...all of it.  I just need to start saving.  T, Aubrey and myself - we're getting out of this place.
 
 
10.  Secret - I have a Mary Kay party planned at my house on Sunday, and I'm petrified of failure.  First time I'll admit that on this blog, but I always fear no one will show.  I need to work on that whole "build yourself up" thing, huh?
 
 
Ok, I'm ending at 10 because ending at 11 just seems weird, doesn't it?  Those are my ramblings today.  Now I'm off to watch Hoarding: Buried Alive.  And play hurdles.  It's the little things in life that make you smile :-) (And yes, I am writing this the night before.) 
 
 
Happy Hump Day, folks!
 
 

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

The dirty truth

"What should I write about?"
 
"On what?" 
 
"My blog.  What should I write about?" 
 
"The drought.  My lawn." 
 
"No one cares about your lawn, T." 
 
"Well, they don't want to hear about Aubrey or anything...."
 
"But no one wants to hear about your lawn..."
 
 
So I'll write about T's lawn.  T's damn lawn.  I swear, the lawn is the third person in our relationship.  Well, fourth because according to our wedding vows, God is the third, but still.  You get my point.  I swear to God, this lawn has become an obsession for him.   And the bane of my existence.
 
 
Earlier in May T got the idea to purchase this huge pile of dirt.  To fill in the spots in our lawn where the house has settled and to plant grass along the edges of the lawn.  So he bought this huge pile of dirt.  It was delivered on a Saturday in May, and it took T and his parents about eight hours to move the dirt and rake it into the lawn.  On one of the hottest days ever.  And it looked like this big dirt moat all around our house.  Up our driveway, along the sidewalk, around the house, on our property line.  Dirt.  And grass seed.  Little did T realize that we were about to hit the biggest drought in years.  So he fruitlessly would go out, roll the hose out and water every single inch of this dirt.  And it took two hours at a time.  Which would mean Nain would have to put Aubrey to bed and sit all alone in the house while he watered his damn dirt.  (Can't tell how I feel about the dirt, right?)
 
 
Well, guess what?  The grass didn't grow.  I know, I was shocked.  Didn't see that one coming at all.
 
 
But his Dad, when they came back out in June bought different type of seed and thus continued the watering.  The every night watering.  And the constant pacing around the yard and coming back into the house and saying "I don't think the grass is growing."  Or "I shouldn't have gotten this dirt."  Or give or take a variation on that theme. 
 
 
Yeah...no kidding...
 
 
So we've given up, on the advice of the good people at Lawn Pride who are going to help us in the fall.  Hopefully.  But until then we have this moat of dirt.  A dirt wall, if you will.  And it's going to be there until a miracle happens and maybe, just maybe, we get some relief.  Until then, I get to see the dirt.  And hear T talk about the dirt.  Every.  Freaking.  Day. 
 
 
Oh how I hate you, dirt. 
 
 
So there, you go, T!   My post on your lawn.  I love you!
 
 

Monday, August 6, 2012

Management motivation

Motivation Monday


I am SO sorry for my lack of posts last Thursday and Friday.  I wish I had some glamorous reason for not being able to post, but unfortunately no.  It's work.  Lots and lots of work.  As my staff and family are watching me push myself over the edge with stress, and I have begun taking Zantac due to stress-induced heartburn...I finally said enough was enough and reached out to T for some help, in the form of time management.  I've become so incredibly overwhelmed trying to juggle everything - personal and professional life - that I need something to give. 


I can't remember which one of you posted a comment last week saying, that I need to set some boundaries.  I think it was more than just one commenter but the basic sentiment was that I need to do work and only work at while there and to not bring it home.  And to make sure I'm setting aside time for 1) T and myself, 2) for Aubrey, and 3) myself.  No, those are not listed in any particular order, meaning that I consider myself last in line.  And time for my Mary Kay business. 


T is one of the most organized people I know, and he's notorious for his lists, and as much as we try to be spontaneous people, it's just not a possibility now that we have Aubrey.  So his suggestion was that I set aside two specific days for "office hours" for Mary Kay.  This will be time where I dedicate myself solely to what I need to do for that business.  He also suggested that I don't bring home work if I can help it.  Granted, I know there will be times where this is unavoidable, as is the same for him, but it feels like I'm doing this on a regular basis.  I get so little time with Aubrey in the evenings, and I'd like to spend those few hours playing with her and interacting.  The same goes for T.  We've become complacent lately.  After we put Aubrey to bed, we often turn on the TV, and both of us are on our computers.  And that's okay every now and then, but it shouldn't become a habit.  Recent events in my family have made me more aware than ever that becoming complacent and not interacting can lead to more problems than good down the road.  So at least one week day night a week, the TV is off and the computers put away.  We're going unplugged.  We need this for the good of our relationship. 


So that's my goal this week - time management.  Scheduling out my time at work, but more importantly, blocking out my time at home.  It's going to benefit me, as well as the ones I love.  And, well...it's going to hopefully make  life just a little less hectic.  God-willing, of course. 


So that's my motivation...what's yours?  It's been AGES (and no, not trying to guilt anyone in doing this...ha) that I've had a fellow motivation monday-er.  So join in!  Write a post of your own, link up to this one and leave a copy of your link in a comment to this post.  Easy as pie! 


Hope everyone is having a good Monday! 



Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Back to School Time!


Hey everyone!  So I try not to self promote on my blog, but I'm really excited about this huge special I'm running, and I'm working super hard on a goal to make $1,000 this month with Mary Kay.  So, I just had to post this sale on here for any of you who do use Mary Kay, who have always wanted to try it, who know someone who loves it, you name it.  I may be partial, but I am a big fan :-) 
So here's my special, and if you read at the end, there is a special giveaway just to make it fun, and who doesn't like free stuff? 
 
 
IT’S BACK TO SCHOOL TIME  
And you are invited to my exclusive Mary Kay Back to School Sale … now until August 15, 2012·       
All Pencils        Lip, Eye or Brow Liners … Buy 1, Get 2nd at ½ PRICE!  ·       
Erasers   Foundations, Concealers & Highlighting Pens…all 20% off! ·        
Backpacks & Carrying Cases   Buy everything you need to fill your compact & receive the compact at 40% off! ·       
Crayons    Lipsticks & Glosses …   Buy 1, Get 2nd at ½ price! ·       
Paints    Cheek & Eye Colors  …  Buy 1, Get 2nd at ½ Price!  ·       
After Gym Class hit the showers with Our Spa Line! Scents include: Exotic Passion fruit, Simply Cotton, Warm Amber, and Forever Orchid! You can choose from Body Lotion, Body Sugar Scrub, Body Shower Gel, or Body Fragrance……Purchase one item and get the 2nd at ½ off!  ·       
All Fragrance Items   (Women & Men)  ...  25% off
 
Okay, so to spread the word, I am having an awesome giveaway.  Right now, our free gift with purchase of $40 or more is this cute little set of mini-oil free eye makeup remover (perfect for a carry-on bag!) and mascara sample.  User failure has made it difficult for me to post the picture, so here's the link to see the goods.   So...
Share this on FB or Twitter and earn an entry
Blog about it and earn an entry
Email this to 10 friends and earn an entry
Make a purchase yourself and earn 5 entries
 
I'll announce who the winner is on Friday!!!
 
Thanks, everyone!  You're all awesome!
 
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